Tuesday, May 5, 2015
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Dear Gossips,

I LOVE the MET Gala. I’ve covered it twice for etalk. It’s the best b-roll of the year. It’s the best dress porn. It’s non-stop fashion masturbation. And amazingly, even though the theme was China: Through The Looking Glass, and it could have been a disaster, it ended up being one of the strongest showings in a while, even though, as I predicted, there was a chopsticks incident. Thanks Nicki Minaj.

Before we begin (and argue), just a quick word on MET Gala criteria. This is not, as Joanna noted, a state dinner. Not the Oscars. It’s OK to play. Play!!! Some played by the invitation – which is why there was so much red, gold, and green. All lucky Chinese colours. And… um… verging on tacky? I’m OK with this for this year. Because, well, think of it like a Chinese wedding. Think of my ma, the Chinese Squawking Chicken. Think of Crazy Rich Asians and China Rich Girlfriend by Kevin Kwan. (Click here to read my new column at FLARE about Chinese extra and superficiality. And by the way… the last line of this piece? Read it. I’m boasting now.) We are a little tacky. Dragons? Fine. Phoenixes work too. And fish. Fish are very good luck. Ching-chong eye makeup however is not acceptable.

But if you don’t want to go Chinese, or risk offending, go fashion forward. Imagination. Statements. Theatre. Costumes! It’s the Costume Institute Gala. Boring is unforgivable.

And then… there’s Beyonce.

We have so much to talk about. And it’s so worth an all-nighter. Keep refreshing. There will likely be close to 50 posts overnight and into the morning. And definitely send us your thoughts.

I’ll begin with Gong Li, one of the co-chairs of this year’s gala, and one of the finest Chinese actresses of all time. Look at the exquisite detail at the back and how the fan almost becomes the head of a goldfish. She’s perfect.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

JLO’s MET Dragon

May 5, 2015 11:37:29 Posted at May 5, 2015 11:37:29
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Jamie McCarthy/ Larry Busacca/ Kevin Mazur/ Rabbani and Solimene Photography/ John Lamparski/ Getty Images

It’s Versace. But it could also have been Zuhair Murad. What’s the difference? Beading held together by pantyhose – who can tell it apart? Doesn’t matter if there’s a dragon because f-ck, I’m so over it. I’m so over JLO in these kinds of dresses. I’m so over “body-con” as a substitute for imagination. Full Story

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Madonna & Katy Perry: MET Moschino

May 5, 2015 11:30:42 Posted at May 5, 2015 11:30:42
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Dimitrios Kambouris/ Rabbani and Solimene Photography/ Larry Busacca / Jamie McCarthy/ Kevin Mazur/ Getty Images

If you’d have asked me who I would have predicted to pull out the ching-chong eyes before the MET Gala, I would have told you Katy Perry. Dakota Johnson would not have been on my radar. Maybe it’s because I’m so surprised that Katy wasn’t offensive that I’m not totally offended by her outfit. Full Story

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Dakota Johnson: MET Eyes

May 5, 2015 11:19:32 Posted at May 5, 2015 11:19:32
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Larry Busacca/ Jamie McCarthy/ Rabbani and Solimene Photography/ Taylor Hill/ Getty Images

So… Dakota Johnson. In Chanel. Nothing in the dress speaks to the theme of the MET Gala. And then you look at her eyes. And because it’s the MET Gala and the theme is China: Through The Looking Glass, and her dress isn’t China at all, now I’m wondering if she and her makeup artist were like, we’ll just give you some slanty eyes and you’re good to go! I just spent several minutes looking at photos of her through the Fifty Shades press tour. Full Story

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Elizabeth Banks: No Effie at the MET Gala

May 5, 2015 11:13:01 Posted at May 5, 2015 11:13:01
Duana Posted by Duana
Photos:
Dimitrios Kambouris/ Larry Busacca/ Getty Images

I wish I loved this on Elizabeth Banks. That is, I do, on some level – the colour is perfect on her, and the cut-outs are cool while still being on trend. She looks fantastic, and the hair is fierce instead of glam, and she’s giving good face in the photos.   But I would be lying if I said this could stand up next to some of the incredible creations that have appeared on this carpet. Full Story

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Miley Cyrus: MET Gala recycle

May 5, 2015 10:56:25 Posted at May 5, 2015 10:56:25
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Rabbani and Solimene Photography/ Jamie McCarthy/ Kevin Mazur/ Getty Images

I liked it better in 2013 when she wore Marc Jacobs and it was punk. Click here for a refresher. So this Alexander Wang feels a little recycled. That said, with her history of cultural appropriation, maybe it was a good idea to play it safe. What I like most about Miley’s look at the MET Gala is her makeup. Full Story

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Keri Russell: MET Gala green feathers

May 5, 2015 10:49:06 Posted at May 5, 2015 10:49:06
Duana Posted by Duana
Photos:
Dimitrios Kambouris/ Larry Busacca/ Taylor Hill/ Getty Images

“Do you want to do Keri Russell?” Lainey asks. She knows I’ll say yes, because I love Elizabeth Jennings so much, and weirdly because none of you are watching the show, it seems as though The Americans is my personal secret, and further seems as though only I can write about women who pronounce their names “Carrie” today. Full Story

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Lady Gaga: Empress at the MET

May 5, 2015 10:42:23 Posted at May 5, 2015 10:42:23
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Jamie McCarthy/ arry Busacca/ Dimitrios Kambouris/ Getty Images

I wrote earlier about the Empress Dowager Cixi in the Fan Bingbing post – click here if you missed it. Fan Bingbing was what I imagined a modern Cixi would look like. Lady Gaga, in Alexander Wang for Balenciaga, however was probably the closest interpretation of the outer robes that Cixi wore in her own time. Full Story

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Kerry Washington: MET too sweet, too pretty

May 5, 2015 10:34:02 Posted at May 5, 2015 10:34:02
Duana Posted by Duana
Photos:
Taylor Hill/ Larry Busacca/ Rabbani and Solimene Photography/ Jamie McCarthy/ Getty Images

This is not the thing. It’s not because it’s pink, or because it’s big. Because as we all know, this is a costume gala and big and over the top are totally fine. But this is wrinkly and shiny and not done up like the more exuberant of courtesans, which is where you must go if you’re doing this, and the hair and makeup are sweet and pretty, which WE KNOW Washington can do. Full Story

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Jessica Chastain: MET Most Frustrating

May 5, 2015 10:04:27 Posted at May 5, 2015 10:04:27
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Jamie McCarthy/ Kevin Mazur/ Dimitrios Kambouris/ Larry Busacca/ Getty Images

Jessica Chastain wore gold Givenchy at the MET Gala. She also wore Givenchy at the Oscars. I don’t ever want to see that dress again but if you do, or if you can’t recall it, click here for a refresher. As I said at the time, I love her. Full Story

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Carey Mulligan: MET Gala wrong shoes

May 5, 2015 09:54:04 Posted at May 5, 2015 09:54:04
Duana Posted by Duana
Photos:
Dimitrios Kambouris/ Larry Busacca/ Jamie McCarthy/ Getty Images

I like Carey Mulligan from afar better than I like it up close. One of the best things about her is that she always kind of seems amused in pictures – I think it’s just the way she places her mouth – but this utterly matte lip works for that. She looks amused.  But I feel like there was a whole thought put into this look, which is very Red Queen from the Looking Glass, red notwithstanding, and then put it with sensible pumps. Full Story

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Olivia Munn: MET Gala ombre

May 5, 2015 09:47:37 Posted at May 5, 2015 09:47:37
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Dimitrios Kambouris/ Kevin Mazur/ Jamie McCarthy/ Getty Images

This J Mendel on Olivia Munn is a shrug for me…at the MET Gala. At the Golden Globes? All over it. The falling sleeves really flatter the shoulders. And it’s still sexy without being tight and clingy. What do you think of her nails though? The matching ombre. Too much?   LOVING my ombre nails to match my @jmendel dress #metball Full Story

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Karen Elson: MET Gala Also-Ran

May 5, 2015 09:34:40 Posted at May 5, 2015 09:34:40
Duana Posted by Duana
Photos:
Kevin Mazur/ Dimitrios Kambouris/ Larry Busacca/ Jamie McCarthy/ Getty Images

Karen Elson looks awesome, but her night was ruined as soon as SJP hit the carpet, because she became the ‘other’ one in a headpiece. Every dramatic move that Elson made – big red skirt, big gold necklace, who are we kidding, that tiara, which under any other circumstances would have been a showstopper – is in serious ‘what else have you got?’ territory, primarily because with such a wide reaching theme, you have to go pretty far to be the one on the extreme side. Full Story

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Rachel Weisz: Worst MET Disappointment

May 5, 2015 06:50:05 Posted at May 5, 2015 06:50:05
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Kevin Mazur/ Taylor Hill/ Getty Images

Was it a last minute decision? Like, she wasn’t intending to go but decided to go anyway and just yanked something serviceable out of the closet that didn’t need to be pressed? Then again, it’s Chanel. I’ve no doubt Rachel Weisz has some Chanel lying around but this is couture so… it probably wasn’t yanked from anywhere. Full Story