I’m back from elbow surgery. And I’m here to tell you:
Grey’s Anatomy is REAL.
Have you seen Whiplash? You remember how hot that band was? I said to Jacek when we were watching Whiplash: ummm… when I was growing up, band guys were NEVER that hot.
The orthopedic surgical team that worked on me yesterday, from the residents to the fellows to the anesthesiologists – all hot. Brilliant, conscientious, kind, funny, and HOT. In scrubs and shower caps! Also young. Young women and men led by the badass Dr Veillette (who’s no older than I am, I don’t think) at Toronto Western Hospital who refused to take a photo with me afterwards because it’s not his thing. Which only makes him even more punk rock.
Anyway, Veillette’s Anatomy is why I’m blogging again and working on a full, regular schedule just a day later, with staples holding my arm together. I told Dr Veillette I needed to go back to posting. Wouldn’t you know it, the ideal position for me right now, where I feel no discomfort, is when I’m on my laptop? He’s the BEST.
Thank you, Veillette’s Anatomy!
And thank YOU for all your emails, tweets, and well-wishes. I’m good.
“O true apothecary. Thy drugs are quick.”
But I will tell you, totally sober, that Justin Bieber on the cover of Men’s Health right now is totally my jam.
Yours in gossip,
PS. Today is Chinese Valentine’s Day. Information on compatibles will follow.
KCS Presse/ Splash, Pierre Suu/ Getty Images
I can feel you long hair advocates hahaha-ing in my face. Because Jared Leto cut it… And bleached it. And I know the majority of you hate it. I hate it with the blazer. But do you remember when Beckham bleached his? I loved it. Full Story
Rachel Murray/ Rich Polk/ David Livingston/ VenturelliLarry Busacca/ VF15/ Getty Images
In case you need a reminder, Independence Day 2 is actually happening and will be released in summer 2016. April/May is when the summer ’16 movies go into production, and to that end, Independence Day 2 is getting its ducks in a row, announcing some key casting. Relative unknown Jessie Usher will star as the grown-up version of Will Smith’s son from the first movie—Smith won’t be appearing in the sequel—and Liam, The Lesser Hemsworth will also star in a lead role. Full Story
I spent some time yesterday thinking about the Rihanna and Leonardo DiCaprio situation while hopped up on painkillers. I’m telling you, it was a mental workout. I got a lot done in my mind. Leo ended last week with a story about how he’s preparing to play Billy Milligan in The Crowded Room about the guy who had 24 personalities and used that defence in court. Full Story
Patrick Aventurier/ Getty Images
The trend over the last several years has to been to depict Sherlock Holmes as a dashing young detective, thanks to the one-two punch of Robert Downey, Jr.’s Victorian-era rake and Bimblesnort Cupcake’s twenty-first century misanthrope. But director Bill Condon has a new iteration for us—an older one. Full Story
KCS Presse/ Splash
FKA twigs is was in Paris yesterday for a performance. Robert Pattinson was seen leaving the venue with her, just after PEOPLE reported that the two had exchanged “promise rings”. I didn’t know we still did that. Isn’t an engagement ring a “promise” ring? Or is a “promise” ring like a pre-engagement ring? I’ve been monogamous for a long time. Full Story
Following a Twitter stunt in which fans had to tweet the hashtag #AvengersAssemble in order to “unlock” a new trailer—I imagine people at Marvel, drunk on their own power, screeching, “Dance monkeys, dance!” and cackling maniacally—yesterday Marvel released the final trailer for Avengers: Age of Ultron, and it’s all our dreams come true. Full Story
Nicholas Hoult was photographed on the set of Top Gear yesterday in Sussex for the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car segment. There was a training session with the Stig. And then he did his laps. The final time, obviously, will air on the show. Like you, I tell myself that I would kick ass on this challenge. Full Story
Justified Season 6, Episode 7 recap We’re officially halfway through the final season. IT’S NOT ENOUGH. So much of Justified has been defined by allegiances and legacy, and now more than ever a person’s loyalty is what matters most. Ty Walker is injured and on the run, and his Tigerhawk crew is no more. Full Story
Michael Buckner/ Jason Kempin/ Getty Images
Gwyneth Paltrow was out in LA yesterday supporting her very good friends, Jessica and Jerry Seinfeld, at the Inaugural Los Angeles Fatherhood Lunch to benefit Baby Buggy. They’ve been close for years. They hang out together in the Hamptons. They compare stone wood whatever pizza ovens in the backyard. Full Story
Gillian! Happy 40th Birthday with love from your sister Andrea! By request, your “midget” RDJ. And for Anita – you’re finished with the treatment and now it’s a dog party! Katie asked me to post pictures of all these beautiful (but sometimes bratty, right?) faces: Parker, Piper, and Hunter. Full Story
Remember when I wrote yesterday that I was banking some goodwill?
Here's why: having surgery on my arm this morning. For those of you who are new to this blog, I f-cked it up in Cannes in 2008 after Mischa Barton bailed on an appearance that we were supposed to be covering. Click here for the full story. I blame her.
Anyway, at the time they inserted a rod to reattach my elbow which had fractured off and was floating away down my forearm. The rod itself is now, sort of, sliding out. See it on the x-rays? How close it is to my skin?
So I have to be at the hospital at 7am. Surgery starts at 10am, is expected to last 90 minutes if all goes as planned. And I'm going under which means there's a 3 hour recovery before they'll let me go home.
What I'm trying to say is that I can't blog today. Which sucks because Leonardo DiCaprio had his publicist issue a statement to let you know that he's single because people really want to believe he and Rihanna are doing it. Well, now I'm offended. His entire career there have been rumours up and down that he's banging this model or that model. There were a LOT of rumours that he was banging Miranda Kerr, remember? When she was still married to Orlando Bloom too. If there was any time to issue a statement, that would have been it. Silence from him then, though. But he can't handle a few weeks of speculation that he's hooking up with Rihanna? Everyone wants to hook up with Rihanna! Why the shame, asshole?
See? I'd much rather be working today. Unfortunately I couldn't get a late afternoon surgery appointment.
The surgeon says I should be good to go tomorrow though, back to writing, back to everything.
Sorry for the interruption to your gossip schedule and for the inconvenience.
Yours in gossip,
Did you know that it’s Chinese Valentine’s Day on Thursday? The Chinese Squawking Chicken gave me a list love matches and mismatches that I’ll post later this week.
Speaking of the Squawking Chicken…
I wrote a book called Listen To The Squawking Chicken that was released last year. THANK YOU for helping to make it a national bestseller! Today is the launch of the trade paperback with a brand new cover AND bonus content that includes an interview with my ma, the Squawking Chicken, and Feng Shui tips, and an FAQ, and more. You voted on the colour – here it is! For more details, please click here.
Would you like a copy? We’re giving away 10 copies. Read Full Intro
Eagle Eyes/ Splash, Paul Zimmerman/ Neilson Barnard/ Kevin Mazur/ Dimitrios Kambouris/ Getty Images
Idris Elba is shooting a new series of Luther. IDRIS ELBA IS SHOOTING A NEW SERIES OF LUTHER!!! At least that’s what the paps are saying. Oh, and guess what? Gidget is in it! That’s Rose Leslie, from Game Of Thrones. Because I can never say her character’s name. Idris & Gidget! Over in New York last night, some major stars showed up for the SeriousFun Children’s network: Meryl Streep, Tom Hanks, George Clooney, Danny DeVito, all smiles, friendly and fun with each other, but no Amal. Full Story