Dear Gossips,
Between Cannes and Brange and Beyonce and Robsten and the Afflecks and the Billboard Music Awards, it was a relentless weekend. Here’s how I see it -- on that list, Billboard is the lowest priority, right? Check LifeStyle through the day for red carpet photos and we’ll keep the main gossip page dedicated to the headliners.
As for Justin Bieber getting booed last night -- fine, the kid is a punk, and while it may have been satisfying for some to see his bottom lip trembling, does the enjoyment hold up when you consider that Chris Brown wasn’t booed AT ALL and in fact received rapturous applause instead, particularly from women?
I’ve never wanted to but here’s more reason why it would suck to be up so close at this kind of award show:

Miguel, by the way, apologised to the girl afterwards and did an interview with her. Not sure if it’ll be enough to avoid a lawsuit. Needless to say, Miguel’s sh-tty long jump resulted immediately in a few hilarious memes. So far, this one is my favourite.
Yours in gossip,
Lainey
God of Tits and Wine
Game Of Thrones Season 3 Episode 8 recap You know you’ve really gotten into a show when you start to be endlessly frustrated with the characters who just won’t behave the way you need them to. This week had any number of irritants as well as the allegedly “proper” behavior of Joffrey acting like the king dick he is, so I got more than my fair share of screaming at the screen. Full Story
The Afflecks & the SNL goodbyes
You know who Jennifer Garner is? Jennifer Garner is Tracy Flick, with a lot more game, and she’s happy to play it in the background. Come on. Garner has delivered in the last 6 months like no one else, non? And to all her constituents. From Oscar voters to the MiniVan Majority, in mom jeans and baseball caps, at the school track meet and on the awards circuit, Jennifer Garner is the one who’s winning. Full Story
Marion & Guillaume kiss in Cannes
Lia Toby /WENN, ALBERTO PIZZOLI / Andreas Rentz /Getty Images
Oh! I mean I was hoping for a few shots together on the red carpet, and maybe some handholding, but this is a MEGA bonus! Check out Marion Cotillard and Guillaume Canet, director, at the Blood Ties photo call in Cannes today. As you can see, their relationship is right. More than right. And the French press must have been going mad with it. Full Story
Second Hand Pitt Porn
Brad Pitt covers the June/July issue of Esquire. The profile was written by Tom Junod. In light of Angelina Jolie’s double mastectomy announcement last week, Esquire has posted additional thoughts from Junod to its website on the Brange relationship given what we all know now. Full Story
May 20, 2013 -- Smutty Shout-Outs
Jan & Jillian -- Happy 35th Birthday yesterday... from Baxter! Look at big Baxter at bed time! I can’t believe that’s the same dog. He has the best goofy face. Hope it was indeed a victorious long weekend. Long weekend birthdays are the best, non? Please tell me you exploited this. Full Story
Dear Gossips,
There was an 80s marathon on tv the other night: The Breakfast Club, St Elmo’s Fire, and About Last Night. Obviously it’s all I could do: stare at Rob Lowe and revisit my 12 year old self crushing with the same intensity and longing. If 1985 Rob Lowe happened now, it would be OVER. And they just don’t do movie sex anymore like they used to. It just doesn’t get as horny as it used to. Yes. I am the perv who replayed his love scenes with Demi Moore at least 3 times. And it’s still saved on my DVR for weekend repeats.
Here’s Lowe on Extra yesterday. Look at him. HOW is this possible? It’s been 30 years!!!!
Ummm... Lindsay Lohan couldn’t have broken out of rehab to go party in Cannes, could she? A million dollars worth of Chopard jewels was stolen from a hotel room yesterday. Read Full Intro
Smutty Tingles
Sasha Finds flat espadrilles in LifeStyle
God Christy Turlington is SO beautiful (Too Fab)
Hollywood Ebola infects Cannes...again (Dlisted)
Star Trek or Victoria’s Secret? (The Superficial)
Rooney Mara, the new face of Calvin Klein (Just Jared)
Yep. Who else but Sofia Vergara in this dress? (Hollywood Tuna)
Leo & Tobey, a love story (Pop Sugar)
Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes clear the room (Cele|bitchy)
Chicken Fried Smurfs (Evil Beet Gossip)
At first I thought this was the mayor of Toronto (Gallery of the Absurd)
Jacek’s fall wardrobe (Go Fug Yourself)
Two French actresses
ANNE-CHRISTINE/ Pascal Le Segretain/ Samir Hussein/ Getty
Blue seems to be the sartorial theme for Berenice Bejo in Cannes. Click here to see the outfit she wore to the photo call earlier today. And here she is in a gorgeous blue blazer over white tulle at the Palais for the premiere of Le Passe tonight. Full Story
The Spare ... is coming
Dimitrios Kambouris/ Getty
Page Six reported it first earlier this week -- that Beyonce is expecting it again. Both PEOPLE and US Weekly then cited sources that dismissed the rumours. But on Tuesday, Beysus cancelled her show in Belgium due to “dehydration and exhaustion”. Full Story
Jeremy’s new friend
Jeremy Renner’s 8 month old puppy, Franklin, a French bulldog, died last year because he was overheated. I could barely get that sentence out. Jeremy, understandably, was devastated. Last week, Jacek and I took our Marcus to emergency at 4am because he had the runs. We were getting on a plane that day. Full Story
Pomp, Circumstance, Humanity, and Truth
The Vampire Diaries Season 4 Episode 23 recap It is a great luxury and a great relief to say that I can’t really breathe. The internet is a minefield today. Between Rob Ford (if you don’t know, please google ) and the Office finale and the VD finale and the Scandal finale, I had to pick my way around very carefully. Full Story
SMUT 2013
June is SMUT month and I can’t wait to see you! Vancouver -- June 3 (on sale now) Calgary -- June 5 (on sale now) Toronto -- June 25 (on sale June 10) Dan Levy will be joining me at all 3 events. We have some surprises planned and a LOT of dirty gossip. Tickets are on sale NOW at TheSmutSoiree.com Full Story
Gran in black leather
Pascal Le Segretain/ George Pimentel/ Getty
Thank you, Nicole Kidman. After Emma Watson’s rather underwhelming Cannes carpet appearance last night, Thursday at the festival was rather lacking in dress porn. But Gran came through in the evening at the IFP and Calvin Klein party in black leather that looks like it’s stripped along the side. Full Story