Sasha Answers: Backstabber at my wedding
Dear Sasha: Need your help very much. I'm getting married in 4 months which I’m so excited for BUT and there’s a BIG BUT. Last week one of my bridesmaids who has been my best friend for years told me that one of our mutual friends, who my best friend is closer to, is talking all this crap behind my back. Ie. I'm a gold digger, I’m fake, and a bunch of other snide remarks about me. Sasha! I'm pissed! Especially because I invited her to my wedding!!! I’m sure you understand that I don’t want her there anymore but the problem is my best friend has sworn me to secrecy. Why? Because this woman is her boss and she says I can’t confront her because she’ll know she’s the one who told me and she’ll probably get fired and she really can’t afford that to happen – she’s a single mom and has had to struggle a lot lately. I’m so torn, Sasha. What do I do? Please I need your no nonsense advice. H
I think we can all agree that someone’s gonna get majorly boned in this situation and it’s either you, or your best bud. So now what we have to figure out is who has to eat this sh-t and take one for the team.
Now, before I go on any further I’m hoping that when that unsavory snack of a biatch was talking crap, your best friend stood up for you. She did, right? Because H, if she didn’t then that’s some weak friendship that needs to be addressed. Boss or no boss, she always needs to have your back and defend you. For now, I’m just gonna give her the benefit of the doubt and proceed.
Okay, so I’ve thought long and hard about this and unfortunately H, I think you have to be the one to eat it. For me, it all comes down to who has more to lose and getting canned from a job is bigger blow in my opinion, especially since your best friend isn’t having the easiest time right now.
I know, I know it's your big day, but hear me out for a second…
Yes, your wedding is one of the most important days of your life, and no, I don’t want to take that away from you, but trust me, *everyone* has one person on their invite list that they kind of hate, and on the day, you’re pulled in so many different ways that seriously, if you don’t want to see someone at your wedding, it’s pretty damn easy. Even the people you love don’t get to see you that much; I mean, at most you maybe have 5 minutes with each guest. So if you do run into her all you need to say is “Hi, thanks for coming” and then move the f-ck on.
Look, I can’t pretend that this doesn’t suck; it’s never nice to know someone is talking smack behind your back. But the only thing I can tell you is this: don’t give this woman’s words any power. Let her pitiful negativity be a reflection just on her, not you. If you can do that then you’ll have no trouble ignoring her ass and moving through your day with ease.
Hope this helps and keep me posted! xx