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February 8, 2016 – Smutty Shout-Outs

February 8, 2016 14:59:04 Posted at February 8, 2016 14:59:04
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

Tawny! Happy Birthday with love from Emi who requested for you pictures of Chris Hemsworth and Elsa Pataky! And for Nancy! Happy Birthday on this new day! You’re an Ox like me. I posted the Ox advisory a couple of weeks ago – click here Full Story

Monday, February 8, 2016

Dear Gossips,

Happy New Year! Gung Hay Fat Choy! It's the Year of the Monkey. The Monkey is a playful, fun-loving, sometimes mischievous sign. Miley Cyrus was born a monkey. She is such a monkey.

It's understandable to presume that when it's your year it should go your way. Chinese astrology, however, doesn't work like that. Because energy is based in balance. So your best times come when you're flowing in balance – and balance isn’t singular. Which is why an ox in an ox year or a tiger in a tiger year or a monkey in a monkey year doesn’t necessarily mean monkey awesome. Opportunities, however, are always available, if you’re willing to wait.

Monkeys are ambitious but this year, monkeys will not be benefited by any lucky stars so it might be hard to make gains. Be careful this year of backstabbers. There could be arguments and personal drama ahead. Focus then on improving yourself. Study. Exercise. Expand your world. Train. Dedicate this year to personal growth so that when good luck arrives, it’ll find you in your best condition.

1932 Monkeys are in good standing and money is stable but be mindful of your health and watch out for accidents.

1944 Monkeys will have a protector. Go try new things. And keep a chill attitude. Remove yourself from stress whenever possible.

1956 Monkeys are advised to walk away from trouble, avoid confrontation. Take health precautions for yourself and for your family. Celebrate your birthday and pay for your guests.

1968 Monkeys may enjoy the generosity of a scholarly star. You’ll write well and eat well.

1980 Monkeys could be lucky in gambling but don't overdo it because you're not super high on good fortune.

1992 Monkeys will be charming, sweet talkers this year. Have a big birthday. Your luck is held in your forehead this year, a prominent spot on your face and also a big target. So you have to surround yourself with happiness and festivity. 

Overall for Monkeys there is an increased risk of cuts and bruises. See your doctor soon after the New Year for a complete physical, including bloodwork, and your dentist for thorough cleaning. And remember, good luck isn’t a right. It must be earned. So what’s happening this year is that you’ve been given the chance to earn good luck by building on your knowledge, increasing your skills, and becoming more attractive to good luck when it arrives. It’s always better to be ready when it comes than to be unworthy and miss out on the maximum benefits.

Good luck to all of us! May the Year of the Monkey bring you health and happiness. May the Monkey give us peace, security, great gossip – and great Beyonce!

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. As luck would have it - ha! - I'm having some tech issues today with email and my laptop. Mischievous Monkey indeed. Just a heads up if you see anything wonky. 
 

Smutty Tingles

February 5, 2016 21:48:05 Posted at February 5, 2016 21:48:05
Lainey Posted by Lainey

This is terrible and no one should do this, ever. But… I’m laughing. I’m sorry. (Dlisted

Henry Cavill takes his shirt off for Superman (Just Jared

Sofia Vergara explains why she wears the same dress over and over again (Cele|bitchy

Love Zoe Kravitz’s skin (TooFab

John Boyega takes his shirt off for Star Wars (Pop Sugar

Nothing about these clothes is special to me (The Superficial

I couldn’t run in these shoes (Hollywood Tuna

I can’t defend this. And I can defend a lot of style sh-t most people hate (Go Fug Yourself

Piers Morgan can’t stop being offended by Susan Sarandon’s breasts (Evil Beet

Prince Harry’s weekly outings

February 5, 2016 19:12:49 Posted at February 5, 2016 19:12:49
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WPA Pool/ Getty Images

You know what I wrote earlier about Beyonce and the value making people miss you? Click here for a refresher. The exception to that, of course, is being royal. Because when the people pay for your royalness, you can’t withhold yourself from them. Full Story

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Tom Hardy before the Oscars

February 5, 2016 18:11:28 Posted at February 5, 2016 18:11:28
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, FameFlynet

On Monday we say Happy New Year, welcome the Year of the Monkey. On Monday the Toronto Zoo will also be making an announcement about the baby pandas. The cubs are now 4 months old. And we’ll learn their names on Chinese New Year! Click here to visit the Toronto Zoo panda page. Full Story

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The Coen Brothers get dragged into #OscarsSoWhite

February 5, 2016 17:42:41 Posted at February 5, 2016 17:42:41
Sarah Posted by Sarah
Photos:
Steve Granitz/ Barry King/ Jeffrey Mayer/ Gregg DeGuire/ Getty Images

Though regular figures during award season—they’re nominated this year for Best Original Screenplay for Bridge of Spies—Joel and Ethan Coen are not very interested in the Oscars. They also have the unfortunate timing as to be promoting a new movie, Hail, Caesar!, during this contentious award season, so they’re getting asked Oscar questions. Full Story

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The Halftime Others

February 5, 2016 16:51:17 Posted at February 5, 2016 16:51:17
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
PG/ Splash News

As you know, Coldplay will be backing up Beyonce at the Super Bowl on Sunday. They can use up all the minutes they want. The only minutes that will matter will be HER minutes. In addition to B, Bruno Mars is also confirmed to make an appearance. Which basically pushes Coldplay down to third position, really. Full Story

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The Half-time Star

February 5, 2016 16:15:28 Posted at February 5, 2016 16:15:28
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Al Pereira/ Getty Images

Let’s be clear. Beyonce will be the showcase during the halftime show at the Super Bowl on Sunday. I mean, Coldplay might be “officially” declared the halftime act by the NFL but, knowing now that Beysus is part of the event, well, it means she IS the event. Especially if the rumours are true. Full Story

The Nicholas Sparks White People Experience

February 5, 2016 15:41:05 Posted at February 5, 2016 15:41:05
Sarah Posted by Sarah
Photos:
Wenn, FameFlynet

Have you ever seen a beer commercial and looked at all the happy, smiling white people of above-average attractiveness and apparently unlimited income frolicking on a beach or at a barbecue and thought, Gosh, I wish that was my life? Well now you can! Yes, it’s true, YOU can experience White People: The Lifestyle*, thanks to the patented Nicholas Sparks White People Experience! This is not just a game, this is a unique opportunity to experience life as only a totally delusional asshole can! For just ten dollars, you can roll the dice and enjoy your customized Nicholas Sparks White People Experience. Full Story

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Is Xenu coming for Cuba Gooding Jr?

February 5, 2016 15:09:58 Posted at February 5, 2016 15:09:58
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Pacific Coast News

Cuba Gooding Jr is currently promoting The People vs OJ Simpson: American Crime Story. Did you watch it on Tuesday? Ratings were big. Anyway, Cuba was on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen last night and was asked about Tom Cruise, with whom he worked in A Few Good Men and Jerry Maguire. Full Story

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