Squawking Chicken Articles

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Dear Gossips,

It’s Mother’s Day on Sunday. I have three gift recommendations. The first one is self-serving so I’ll start with it. My book: Listen To The Squawking Chicken. Which is now available on trade paperback and it’s about my ma, the Chinese Squawking Chicken. For the Squawking Chicken in your life, and not necessarily the Chinese kind, because I’ve heard from a lot of you with Jamaican Squawking Chickens and Portuguese Squawking Chickens and Texan Squawking Chickens.  Read Full Intro

Gwyneth: a wasted dress and the narcissistic parent

March 27, 2015 19:47:30 Posted at March 27, 2015 19:47:30
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The latest feature on GOOP is about narcissistic parenting. I skimmed through it pretty quickly so maybe I’m totally off-base but my takeaway from it is that narcissistic parenting is bad. Which, I think, most people probably agree with…? Click here Full Story

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Dear Gossips,

Did you know that it’s Chinese Valentine’s Day on Thursday? The Chinese Squawking Chicken gave me a list love matches and mismatches that I’ll post later this week.

Speaking of the Squawking Chicken…

I wrote a book called Listen To The Squawking Chicken that was released last year. THANK YOU for helping to make it a national bestseller! Today is the launch of the trade paperback with a brand new cover AND bonus content that includes an interview with my ma, the Squawking Chicken, and Feng Shui tips, and an FAQ, and more.  Read Full Intro

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Dear Gossips,

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

It is the Year of the Goat/Sheep. For some signs, when your year comes around, it’s not a great turn on the cycle. For example, if you’re a Tiger, your worst year is the Year of the Tiger. Because of how Chinese astrology perceives the nature of a Tiger: ferocious. When a Tiger meets a Tiger then, there can be no peace. There’s a saying in Chinese: no two Tigers can exist together in one place.  Read Full Intro

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Dear Gossips,

It’s New Year’s Eve. You ready?

Change your sheets tonight. Wash your hair too. No hair washing starting tomorrow and, if you can, at least until the weekend. Can’t wash away the New Year Luck, right?

So today we profile those born in the Year of the Pig and the Year of the Dog. The Pig is the last of the three lucky signs during the Year of the Goat/Sheep alongside the Rabbit and the Rooster.  Read Full Intro

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Dear Gossips,

If it was a long weekend for you as it was for me (Family Day in parts of Canada/Presidents Day in the US), I hope you’re rested. Because, finally, it’s Oscar Week!

But first…

Chinese New Year on Thursday!

We have a few more signs to get through before then. And since we missed yesterday, we’re doubling up today on the Monkey and the Rooster.

For those born in the Year of the Monkey, “STEADY” is your word during the Goat/Sheep.  Read Full Intro

Friday, February 13, 2015

Dear Gossips,

Rachel McAdams continued to work on True Detective Season 2 yesterday in LA. Rachel’s Chinese astrological sign is Horse. The Chinese Squawking Chicken says there’s not too much to be concerned about for the Horse during the Year of the Goat/Sheep. In fact, this year, the Horse will benefit from two Lucky Stars who could help them at work – a promotion and/or a raise is very possible. It’s an entrepreneurial year for the Horse, a good time to go into business.  Read Full Intro

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Dear Gossips,

If you think the Best Actor Oscar race between Michael Keaton and Eddie Redmayne is too close to call, will this change your mind? Michael Keaton is a Rabbit.

During the Year of the Goat/Sheep, only 3 signs out of the 12 signs are on a luck run. The Rabbit is one of them. No major warnings then from the Chinese Squawking Chicken. Still, don’t get too comfortable, don’t coast, and don’t tempt fate.  Read Full Intro

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Dear Gossips,

You know who was at the Grammys with hardly a mention? Courteney Cox. Maybe you didn’t recognise her. I wish she had chosen a better pair of shoes.

Anyway, that’s my not very subtle segue to Dragons. Courteney Cox was born in the Year of the Dragon. And it’s the Dragon’s turn today. According to my ma, the Chinese Squawking Chicken, the Year of the Goat/Sheep won’t suck for the Dragon (which is why she hasn’t devoted a lot of energy to an extensive review; for her, she focuses on the signs and situations that require most concern; nobody needs to be prepared for good things to happen), although male Dragons will be luckier than females.  Read Full Intro

Monday, February 9, 2015

Dear Gossips,

Did you know that both Taylor Swift and Kanye West were born in the Year of the Snake? If you’re a Snake too, here’s what my ma, the Chinese Squawking Chicken, is advising for the Year of the Goat/Sheep:

Might not be the best year for personal relationships and, in particular, business relationships could be strained. 

You need to be mindful of injury. Be very careful between the first week of March and the first week of April.  Read Full Intro

Friday, February 6, 2015

Dear Gossips,

Wednesday was the Start of Spring on the Chinese calendar meaning it’s now officially the Year of the Goat/Sheep (even though Chinese New Year is on February 19th). That day I posted a Squawking Chicken (my ma) advisory for those born in the Year of the Ox. The Goat/Sheep is the opposing sign of the Ox…which means that the Ox (and that includes me) is in for some sh-t. Click here  Read Full Intro

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Dear Gossips,

On the Chinese calendar, today is the Start of Spring. Which means that, technically, the Year of the Horse is over and the Year of the Goat/Sheep has begun. Chinese New Year is on February 19. But the astrological year actually kicks off today. I know it’s confusing but we live by the moon.

Anyway, every Chinese zodiac sign has its sign of opposition. Last year, the Horse was sh-tty for Rats. In the Year of the Goat/Sheep, it’s the Ox who will have it rough.  Read Full Intro

An Alamuddin wedding

September 17, 2014 19:29:05 Posted at September 17, 2014 19:29:05
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Andrew Goodman/ Getty Images

I feel like I know more about this wedding than the Kanye West wedding. That said, you know who would agree with making the wedding as big of a f-cking deal as possible and broadcasting it far and wide? My ma, the Chinese Squawking Chicken. It’s a celebration. You don’t hide a celebration in a corner. Full Story

The only Jackie Chan

August 13, 2014 14:04:01 Posted at August 13, 2014 14:04:01
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, FameFlynet

Jackie Chan was in London yesterday promoting his film Chinese Zodiac. Look at him. I have been looking at him, watching him, since I was probably 2 years old. I’m 40 now. HE’S EXACTLY THE SAME. Ginseng > Botox. Maybe some snake blood too. He only takes one day off a year. Full Story

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