Costume Institute Gala 2009 Articles

Shelfy the bride

May 5, 2009 11:18:56 Posted at May 5, 2009 11:18:56
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Who got married yesterday? You would think it was Shelf Ass. It was her special day. Let me explain. At every photo agency database it was pretty much the same – two women occupied more pages and image space than any others. The first… Madonna. Obviously. The second. Jessica f-cking Biel. Full Story

View All 16 Photos

Posehard pose-off!

May 5, 2009 10:58:15 Posted at May 5, 2009 10:58:15
Lainey Posted by Lainey

When Victoria Beckham met Renee Zellweger…who posed the hardest? Who posed so hard she need hip replacement surgery? Maybe we need a new poll. Ok, f-ck the Claudia vs Heidi poll. Let’s pit Posh and SnapFace head to head. Big surprise. Snappy’s wearing a strapless dress. It’s the best way to show off some back bones. Full Story

View All 18 Photos

This black dress

May 5, 2009 10:30:00 Posted at May 5, 2009 10:30:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Is f-cking exquisite. It’s Versace. Thematically similar to Shelfy’s dress (more on that later) only far superior. And of course on someone who can wear it. Never was pro-Claudia back in the day. Christy and Linda and Yasmine Ghauri, they did more for me especially on the runway. Over the years though she’s grown on me a little. Full Story

View All 8 Photos

It’s my IT band

May 5, 2009 10:05:51 Posted at May 5, 2009 10:05:51
Lainey Posted by Lainey

My ass has been aching for weeks. It’s my IT band. Even in a sitting position it’s cramping now. And when I drive. And especially when I sleep. Also, I have chronic neck and shoulder pain. I’m telling you this because I just popped in for quick physio. Physio makes me sleepy and slow. Full Story

View All 15 Photos

Swank sag tits

May 5, 2009 09:44:30 Posted at May 5, 2009 09:44:30
Lainey Posted by Lainey

That episode of The Office – Hilary Swank, pretty or not? Please. Why is this even a debate? Maybe it’s just me. I don’t like her. I don’t like how she outed her ex husband as an addict in an interview with a dishy magazine. I also don’t understand why she has 2 Oscars. Full Story

Supermodel Cougar

May 5, 2009 09:30:11 Posted at May 5, 2009 09:30:11
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Fack. This is not Teri Hatcher. Or Kelly Preston in that Maroon 5 video. This is Cindy Crawford. Cindy Crawford, whose husband is being sued for sexual harrassment after years of loud whispers about his philandering ways as George Clooney steps up to defend him. Her dress says it all, non? It's dated and desperate, decidedly cheap. Full Story

View All 8 Photos

A little Edie at the Met

May 5, 2009 09:19:36 Posted at May 5, 2009 09:19:36
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Just a little. Or maybe I have her on the mind a lot lately after all this Grey Gardens hype which could explain why I opened these photos, saw Kate Moss, and immediately thought well now Little Edie would approve. This is the best costume for the day, you understand. Kate co-chaired the event with her date, Marc Jacobs, Anna Wintour, and Justin Timberlake. Full Story

View All 10 Photos

Overdress-Off!

May 5, 2009 08:47:42 Posted at May 5, 2009 08:47:42
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Battle of the overdressers: In one corner, the usual. Who else? Kate Beckinsale. F-ck! Does she have to? Can she help herself? Kate Beckinsale does not know the meaning of restraint. None. It’s Marchesa. No wonder I hate it. Besides, Penelope Cruz did this already and better. Her opponent: Elizabeth Hurley in Elie Saab. Full Story

View All 15 Photos

Mother daughter fail

May 5, 2009 08:29:24 Posted at May 5, 2009 08:29:24
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Those of you who’ve been visiting the site for a while have heard about this already. But it’s one of the best memories of my life. Lara – I miss you. I miss us getting completely rejected by Anna Wintour Full Story

The Madonna Debate

May 5, 2009 08:20:01 Posted at May 5, 2009 08:20:01
Lainey Posted by Lainey

We spent a significant amount time on this last night over Skype, Michelle and I. Obviously Madonna wasn’t hoping to make the Best Dressed List with this selection. Madonna is many things. But Madonna is not stupid. She wasn’t looking to the MiniVan to gasp with delight over that thing in her head and her muscles popping like flashbulbs. Full Story

View All 11 Photos

Stella’s girls

May 5, 2009 07:53:37 Posted at May 5, 2009 07:53:37
Lainey Posted by Lainey

They’ve been close for years, now three modern mothers – Kate Hudson, Liv Tyler, Stella McCartney. And all similarly pedigreed. Kate is a regular with Stella at this event. This year, Stella brought two dates and dressed them both, naturally, in her designs. Nothing super spectacular. She in fact went riskier than her muses. Full Story

Leighton > Lively

May 5, 2009 07:48:28 Posted at May 5, 2009 07:48:28
Lainey Posted by Lainey

90% of you and an entire fleet of MiniVans will disagree… Blake’s was the safer choice. Pretty and soothing in blue and blonde and boring as f-ck and a cheap slit too. It’s Versace. I’m asleep. Like when Serena talks in her one voice, incapable of modulation. Lulls you into a coma. Full Story

View All 17 Photos

Alba outclassed

May 5, 2009 07:32:26 Posted at May 5, 2009 07:32:26
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She really was. Or, more accurately, perhaps it was her designer Jason Wu. This dress seems like it’s 2 seasons old and was last worn at some Us Weekly party by Lauren Conrad. That hurts. And the tights, not feeling the tights. On the plus side: am all over the lipstick. Fuchsia looks good on the Alba Demon who smiled almost like she meant it. Full Story

Lazy Dunst

May 5, 2009 07:28:08 Posted at May 5, 2009 07:28:08
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She’s fired. For many reasons, not just last night. The Xenu sympathising doesn’t sit well. And then the whole rehab for “depression” business which, as you’d expect, nobody bought especially not after Sundance that year when she was passing out Lindsay Lohan styles at every party. Full Story

View All 10 Photos