The Art of Douchebag Dressing

April 10, 2014 14:48:10 Posted at April 10, 2014 14:48:10
Maria Posted by Maria
Photos:
WENN

This week, Lainey wrote about celebrities being paid to dress like assholes (click here for a refresher), otherwise known as Coachella. It’s a mess – flower crowns, fringe boots (because why wouldn’t you wear suede boots in the desert?), floppy velvet hats - and I guess getting high and riding the Ferris wheel calls for a certain esthetic.

Now, the king of grossness Adam Levine has released a women’s clothing line with Kmart, just in time for asshole season (aka music festival season). According to this glowing PEOPLE article, his design philosophy is about creating pieces he wants to see women wear.

Adam Levine is DISGUSTING. And now he wants to dress us in a mash-up of cheap fabrics and even cheaper style: floral crop tops, a Tee with “Africa” written on it, a vintage-inspired mini skirt, and a faux leather bralette. It’s basically a template for attracting an LA douchebag with sh-tty tattoos and coke boogers.

But my point is  – WHO F-CKING CARES what Adam Levin wants us to wear? Who dresses for a slimy, model-f-cking lead singer of a band that makes my ears bleed? Oh I know, Sexiest Man Alive! And he’s on a judge on a popular reality show! I’d rather have sex with Simon Cowell.

And the fact that he thinks – or the marketing company thinks – that anyone is dressing to attract an Adam Levine type is probably the most depressing thing ever. First off, women dress for other women (most of the time). Second, if you are dressing for Adam Levine or his type, we are fighting. Big time.

Floral crop top

Vintage mini skirt

Faux leather bralette

Africa Tee

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