For the sake of Gossip...
I am begging her, Jennifer Lopez, for the sake of Gossip, to give us something better than this.
JLo was on the radio with Ryan Seacrest today who tried to get her to go there about that back-up dancer she’s dating, Casper Smart, and she was all like, I don’t want to talk about my love life until it’s someone serious because of my babies and I’m super busy right now and I don’t have time to be all multiple-dating people and whatever, and then Us Weekly posted an article about it and used this photo of Casper that I’m attaching which is why I been smashing my head into the wall for the last 15 minutes.
All due respect to Casper Smart...
But he is not Ben Affleck 2002.
Like I said the other day, I really hate it when she slums.
Maybe you kids are too young to remember, but back in the day, back in 2002, when Bennifer INVENTED the Bennifering, Gossip was...Amazing. Like, EVERYONE was happy when those two happened. It was so...unlikely. Even now, doesn’t it seem unlikely? Two mega mega stars who were mega mega unsuited for each other. Which is why they’re not together anymore, right, because it was f-cking CRAZY to think of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. I still don’t believe it actually happened. Was it a really great dream???
But there they were, all over each other, making videos together, getting interviewed together, announcing their engagement together, and then totally imploding, right in front of us.
Do you remember when they called off the wedding and showed up to The Ivy to prove they were still ...I dunno...dating after not marrying? And her face? How you could see through her makeup that she’d been wailing? Do you remember those shots of him in Vegas, at the poker table, on New Year’s Eve, with a cigarette in his mouth, and she’s looking at him, like, what did I ever see in you? And then not a few weeks later, it was done?
Oh my God, it was the best of times! Gossip Nostalgia! And that’s what she’s capable of!
Look at him, Casper Smart. Look at him. Like I’m sure he’s great. I’m sure he’s really, really nice and maybe even a good kisser.
But is he The Making Of The Jenny From The Block video?
Is he Ben Affleck with a Lopez makeover and a fake tan pumping gas?
Please JLo. Please give us better.