Royal Smut Articles

The grey-matching Cambridges

April 22, 2014 13:21:25 Posted at April 22, 2014 13:21:25
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Pool/ Scott Barbour/ Chris Jackson/ Getty

William and Catherine Cambridge arrived at Ayers Rock today for a visit with members of Australia’s aboriginal community. There are some glorious images coming out of this tour. I’ve never been to Australia but looking at these pictures, I’ve never wanted to go more. Which, I think, is the point. Full Story

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Big G and the bilby

April 21, 2014 15:00:55 Posted at April 21, 2014 15:00:55
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Pool/ Getty

Big Prince George continues his adventures Down Under. He went with his parents to the zoo. They introduced him to a bilby who used to be called Boy George but has now been renamed after Big G. Big G wanted to touch the bilby. His mother, Princess Catherine, was like, um, don’t let the Bruiser near the animal. Full Story

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Big G saving the Firm

April 16, 2014 14:50:17 Posted at April 16, 2014 14:50:17
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Hagen Hopkins/ Pool/ Chris Jackson/ Cameron Spencer/ Getty

Big George Cambridge is now in Australia with his parents. And they’re saying they love him so much there that “support for a republic in Australia has dropped to its lowest level in three decades”. (Source) Everyone loves babies. Full Story

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Big G didn’t go to sea

April 11, 2014 13:50:37 Posted at April 11, 2014 13:50:37
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Pool/ Getty

Big George Cambridge did not go out to sea with his parents yesterday in Auckland as they raced each other on the water. Princess Catherine’s team won. She teased her husband about it good-naturedly and the two had a pretty cute moment afterwards, teasing each other. And he reached out to hold her hand, showing how close they are, how much they enjoy each other, how comfortable they are with each other, how their bodies fit so well together, alone, at night, when the baby is asleep… Stop. Full Story

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Big G’s day off

April 10, 2014 13:42:04 Posted at April 10, 2014 13:42:04
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, Pool/ Getty

Big George Cambridge, aka the Bruiser, had quite the day yesterday at the community playdate. After punching one child in the face and then taking another’s toy, he must have been exhausted. So his parents left him with the nanny today in Wellington as they attended two events. The first was a visit to the Omaka Aviation Heritage Centre where Prince William climbed into a plane and both had their pictures taken by director Peter Jackson. Full Story

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He’s a “bruiser”!

April 9, 2014 13:25:54 Posted at April 9, 2014 13:25:54
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Pool/ Getty

After taking a couple of days off to rest and acclimate to the time zone, the Cambridges were out in New Zealand today at Government House for a royal playdate. All kinds of babies were invited to hang with Little G, who was apparently in a sh-tty mood at the start, fussing in his mother’s arms and pulling her hair. Full Story

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Hello George!

April 7, 2014 13:35:55 Posted at April 7, 2014 13:35:55
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Hagen Hopkins/ Chris Jackson/ Getty

The Cambridges have officially kicked off their tour of New Zealand and Australia and Little G is, as expected, the big star. Ordinary babies hijack everything as it is. But a royal baby? Jesus. Nothing could baby-jack a royal baby. I like the size of this royal baby. He's at the age now where he's not frightening anymore. Full Story

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Doesn’t the Prince have a playsuit?

April 4, 2014 14:30:02 Posted at April 4, 2014 14:30:02
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, Tim P. Whitby/ Getty

Prince Harry was out with London Mayor Boris Johnson to visit with children at a new playground at Queen Elizabeth Park in Newham. The park opens this weekend. “Play” is a subject I keep hearing about a lot the last few years. All my friends who have kids talk about “play”. Full Story

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Prince Harry’s pursed lips

April 2, 2014 13:50:30 Posted at April 2, 2014 13:50:30
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
TGB/ Splash

I don’t know if I’ve seen Harry doing the Bill Clinton lip purse. At least not that I remember. It’s kind of working for me, in a hate-f-ck way. Hot Harry is rarely a hate-f-ck, obviously, but that is just such a douchey expression, made even more so by Alec Baldwin and Darrell Hammond. Full Story

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Princess Catherine doesn’t shop online?

April 1, 2014 14:56:35 Posted at April 1, 2014 14:56:35
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Keystone

Prince William and his Catherine leave in less than a week to tour Australia and New Zealand. Katy Cambridge is getting ready for her big trip. So she stopped in at The Gap to pick up some clothes. Baby clothes? The British press is saying it was baby clothes. She had several security with her. Which… Pain in the ass, right? I shop online a LOT. Full Story

The Cambridges: a new family portrait

March 31, 2014 14:35:29 Posted at March 31, 2014 14:35:29
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Jesal / Tanna/ Splash, Handout/ Getty

The Palace has release a new family portrait of the Cambridges ahead of their tour to Australia and New Zealand next week. You remember what the first family portrait looked like? It was taken at Bucklebury by Princess Catherine’s father. Little G was swaddled and sleeping. Lupo had his tongue out and his eyes off to the side, like why are you people keeping me here when I could be rubbing myself all over in the grass?  Full Story

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Harry & Alex in a tent

March 27, 2014 14:04:07 Posted at March 27, 2014 14:04:07
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Dedicated to Michael K at Dlisted because I can only imagine what he’s imagining when he watches this video. I know what I’m imagining and I’ll be imagining it the next time I need a self manual. You’ll recall, Prince Harry and Alexander Skarsgard went to the South Pole together for Walking With The Wounded. Full Story

Green hats everywhere

March 17, 2014 15:20:06 Posted at March 17, 2014 15:20:06
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, ADRIAN DENNIS/ Chris Jackson/ Getty

St Patrick’s Day. You’re probably drunk already, aren’t you? That’s not how the royals do it though. Check out Prince William and his Catherine at the parade of the Irish Guards today. She presented shamrock sprigs to the officers in a green coat and matching hat. You know how I feel about a green hat. Full Story

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