Parent Pimps Articles

Prince Michael, correspondent

February 20, 2013 14:52:00 Posted at February 20, 2013 14:52:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
REHAB /bauergriffinonline

The first son of the late Michael Jackson, Prince Michael, is now a correspondent for Entertainment Tonight. He’s 16 years old. His first interview will be with the cast of Oz: The Great And Powerful. For Entertainment Tonight, it’s an obvious stunt-hire. And, well, it’s gross, non? Is the primary intention here really to learn what it takes to be a “producer, director, screenwriter, and actor”? Or is it so that they can help us rubberneck? Do you care what he asks James Franco? Or are you scrutinising him as he’s asking James Franco whatever it is that he’s asking James Franco? And besides, you don’t need to have experience in broadcasting to know -- most interns start as proper interns, the best way to understanding how a newsroom works: transcribing, running tapes, setting time codes, helping out with edits, running cable, the smaller jobs prepare you for the bigger jobs. Full Story

The Day of (a Mother’s) Love

February 15, 2013 17:36:52 Posted at February 15, 2013 17:36:52
Maria Posted by Maria

It was quite a tame Valentine’s Day, celebrity-wise. Jessica took Jackpot Johnson out for a spin, Goop showed us the joy of cooking for one and apparently Brad gifted Angie with breath mints. So when in doubt, turn to the mothers. Vanessa Minnillo shared a page from her private family diary with PEOPLE. Full Story

How Lindsay Lohan prepares for court

January 30, 2013 16:25:17 Posted at January 30, 2013 16:25:17
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, Jackson Lee/ Splash

After TMZ reported yesterday that Lindsay Lohan was trying to not show up at court by using a doctor’s note even though she was papped shopping in New York, she was seen with her mother Dina last night flying in to LA well after midnight. As you can see, she was well dressed for the occasion. Full Story

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Ashlee Simpson, Lucky Star

January 21, 2013 16:21:20 Posted at January 21, 2013 16:21:20
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Fame, Splash

This is Ashlee Simpson’s video for her song Bat For A Heart which looks to me like a millennial version of Madonna’s Lucky Star. She says “f-ck” and it’s supposed to be hardcore. How many different things has Ashlee Simpson tried to be? And is it unfair that we are critical of her, um, evolution because of her last name? At the beginning, when she fronted like a poseur Avril Lavigne -- in and of itself hilarious, someone posing like a poseur, and totally unironically -- Joe Simpson was all over it, and had probably created it. Full Story

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#cuttingforbieber

January 7, 2013 20:35:04 Posted at January 7, 2013 20:35:04
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
JN/TO/Splash

Justin Bieber was caught with what looks like a blunt and now his people are all trying to blame Lil Twist for being a bad influence. (Source) Why is it that when Justin Bieber does something generally perceived as “positive”, no one else gets credit for it? It’s a page out of the Lindsay Lohan Playbook: never take accountability. Full Story

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Romeo Beckham for Burberry

December 17, 2012 19:28:26 Posted at December 17, 2012 19:28:26
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Not even 10 years ago, the Beckhams were blamed, in part, for lowering the prestige of the Burberry brand -- they were associated with the “chav”-ness of the label and, rumour has it, for a while there, Mrs Beckham in particular, was banned from wearing it. Click here Full Story

When you to go to Justin Bieber’s house

December 14, 2012 16:43:47 Posted at December 14, 2012 16:43:47
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Michael Rozman/Warner Bros.

This is the sh-t that really, REALLY makes me crazy. Like, when did they introduce new rules? People my age didn’t get the update. Is it true that when someone comes to your house now you don’t have to show them respect? You remember that incident with Justin Bieber wearing overalls when he was being honoured by the Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper? Click here Full Story

Gwen & Jessica: Phone Moms

November 16, 2012 21:05:34 Posted at November 16, 2012 21:05:34
Maria Posted by Maria

Do you let your kid play with your phone? I do, and it’s become so bad that last night he hid my iPhone in his toy box. He’s sent texts, has called people and erased apps, and gotten it so wet it had to be replaced. All my fault, I know.  We are starting to institute a no electronics rule in the house after dinner, but seeing as we both, like, work in the real world, it’s a little difficult. Full Story

Liars and their denials

October 12, 2012 16:31:53 Posted at October 12, 2012 16:31:53
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

Lindsay Lohan called into TMZ yesterday. Click here if you have the time to listen to almost 15 minutes of a liar’s denial. I did. So I can save you the waste. In short: Her dad is the enemy and her ma, Dina, is the real hero, and Dina doesn’t use cocaine, and yes she gave her $40K to pay off her debts because Michael doesn’t pay child support. Full Story

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Liars taping liars

October 10, 2012 20:23:28 Posted at October 10, 2012 20:23:28
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
INF

TMZ has released audio of a hysterical Lindsay Lohan calling up her father Michael last night during that scrap with her mother. WHY IS HE TAPING THEIR CONVERSATIONS? Here’s what is said: Dina appeared to be on cocaine. Dina took 40 grand from Lindsay to keep her house. Full Story

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Another proud night for the family of dickheads

October 10, 2012 16:03:14 Posted at October 10, 2012 16:03:14
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
FameFlynet

Lindsay and Dina Lohan scrapped last night. They were at a club at 4am. On their way home to Long Island they started slapping each other. Lindsay has a cut on her leg and her ma broke her bracelet. The cops were called on a domestic. No one was arrested. I would like to believe that Dina was finally giving her daughter some structure -- at dawn, after a night of partying. Full Story

The New York Times Fangirls Maude Apatow

August 27, 2012 15:00:04 Posted at August 27, 2012 15:00:04
Maria Posted by Maria

A few hours after my post on Maude Apatow went up on Friday (click here if you missed it), The New York Times posted a story on her: “She’s 14, Going on 140 Characters.” The article is supremely annoying (as these types of articles in the Times can be), but this one is especially patronizing and glib. Full Story

The Family Apatow

August 24, 2012 18:12:36 Posted at August 24, 2012 18:12:36
Maria Posted by Maria
Photos:
Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty

There’s a marked difference, to me, between a child star and a child actor. Miley Cyrus was a child star, Dakota Fanning was a child actor who became famous. I would count Maude and Iris Apatow in the child actor column because they only appear in their dad Judd’s movies (and their mom Leslie Mann is always their mom). Full Story