Dear Gossips,
Between Cannes and Brange and Beyonce and Robsten and the Afflecks and the Billboard Music Awards, it was a relentless weekend. Here’s how I see it -- on that list, Billboard is the lowest priority, right? Check LifeStyle through the day for red carpet photos and we’ll keep the main gossip page dedicated to the headliners.
As for Justin Bieber getting booed last night -- fine, the kid is a punk, and while it may have been satisfying for some to see his bottom lip trembling, does the enjoyment hold up when you consider that Chris Brown wasn’t booed AT ALL and in fact received rapturous applause instead, particularly from women?
I’ve never wanted to but here’s more reason why it would suck to be up so close at this kind of award show:

Miguel, by the way, apologised to the girl afterwards and did an interview with her. Not sure if it’ll be enough to avoid a lawsuit. Needless to say, Miguel’s sh-tty long jump resulted immediately in a few hilarious memes. So far, this one is my favourite.
Yours in gossip,
Lainey
Second Hand Pitt Porn
Brad Pitt covers the June/July issue of Esquire. The profile was written by Tom Junod. In light of Angelina Jolie’s double mastectomy announcement last week, Esquire has posted additional thoughts from Junod to its website on the Brange relationship given what we all know now. Full Story
May 20, 2013 -- Smutty Shout-Outs
Jan & Jillian -- Happy 35th Birthday yesterday... from Baxter! Look at big Baxter at bed time! I can’t believe that’s the same dog. He has the best goofy face. Hope it was indeed a victorious long weekend. Long weekend birthdays are the best, non? Please tell me you exploited this. Full Story
Dear Gossips,
There was an 80s marathon on tv the other night: The Breakfast Club, St Elmo’s Fire, and About Last Night. Obviously it’s all I could do: stare at Rob Lowe and revisit my 12 year old self crushing with the same intensity and longing. If 1985 Rob Lowe happened now, it would be OVER. And they just don’t do movie sex anymore like they used to. It just doesn’t get as horny as it used to. Yes. I am the perv who replayed his love scenes with Demi Moore at least 3 times. And it’s still saved on my DVR for weekend repeats.
Here’s Lowe on Extra yesterday. Look at him. HOW is this possible? It’s been 30 years!!!!
Ummm... Lindsay Lohan couldn’t have broken out of rehab to go party in Cannes, could she? A million dollars worth of Chopard jewels was stolen from a hotel room yesterday. Read Full Intro
Smutty Tingles
Sasha Finds flat espadrilles in LifeStyle
God Christy Turlington is SO beautiful (Too Fab)
Hollywood Ebola infects Cannes...again (Dlisted)
Star Trek or Victoria’s Secret? (The Superficial)
Rooney Mara, the new face of Calvin Klein (Just Jared)
Yep. Who else but Sofia Vergara in this dress? (Hollywood Tuna)
Leo & Tobey, a love story (Pop Sugar)
Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes clear the room (Cele|bitchy)
Chicken Fried Smurfs (Evil Beet Gossip)
At first I thought this was the mayor of Toronto (Gallery of the Absurd)
Jacek’s fall wardrobe (Go Fug Yourself)
Two French actresses
ANNE-CHRISTINE/ Pascal Le Segretain/ Samir Hussein/ Getty
Blue seems to be the sartorial theme for Berenice Bejo in Cannes. Click here to see the outfit she wore to the photo call earlier today. And here she is in a gorgeous blue blazer over white tulle at the Palais for the premiere of Le Passe tonight. Full Story
The Spare ... is coming
Dimitrios Kambouris/ Getty
Page Six reported it first earlier this week -- that Beyonce is expecting it again. Both PEOPLE and US Weekly then cited sources that dismissed the rumours. But on Tuesday, Beysus cancelled her show in Belgium due to “dehydration and exhaustion”. Full Story
Jeremy’s new friend
Jeremy Renner’s 8 month old puppy, Franklin, a French bulldog, died last year because he was overheated. I could barely get that sentence out. Jeremy, understandably, was devastated. Last week, Jacek and I took our Marcus to emergency at 4am because he had the runs. We were getting on a plane that day. Full Story
Pomp, Circumstance, Humanity, and Truth
The Vampire Diaries Season 4 Episode 23 recap It is a great luxury and a great relief to say that I can’t really breathe. The internet is a minefield today. Between Rob Ford (if you don’t know, please google ) and the Office finale and the VD finale and the Scandal finale, I had to pick my way around very carefully. Full Story
SMUT 2013
June is SMUT month and I can’t wait to see you! Vancouver -- June 3 (on sale now) Calgary -- June 5 (on sale now) Toronto -- June 25 (on sale June 10) Dan Levy will be joining me at all 3 events. We have some surprises planned and a LOT of dirty gossip. Tickets are on sale NOW at TheSmutSoiree.com Full Story
Gran in black leather
Pascal Le Segretain/ George Pimentel/ Getty
Thank you, Nicole Kidman. After Emma Watson’s rather underwhelming Cannes carpet appearance last night, Thursday at the festival was rather lacking in dress porn. But Gran came through in the evening at the IFP and Calvin Klein party in black leather that looks like it’s stripped along the side. Full Story
Blake in the kitchen
Vogue has introduced a web series called Elettra’s Goodness featuring model Elettra Wiedemann, daughter of Isabella Rossellini. Since it’s Vogue and since Wiedemann has quite the pedigree, they’ve been able to recruit some high profile guests...starting with Gossip Girl now homemaker Blake Lively. Full Story
Mimi vs JLO on stage
FOX/ Kevin Winter/ Getty
Season finale of American Idol last night. Both Mimi and JLo performed. Mimi threw down a medley of her greatest hits -- I always forget how much I love We Belong Together -- culminating in her current smash #Beautiful. It was... a little lip-synchy, right? Maybe not the middle section but definitely off the top and towards the end? Voices don’t hold up forever. Full Story
Deal with the paps
She hates the paps, and she’s been burned by the paps. So now she’s dealing with the paps and is working exclusively with one agency, agreeing to give them photos on a regular basis. The agreement started several months ago when she approached one agency in exchange for information on a paparazzo working for another agency. Full Story