Jock Smut Articles

What Would Dum-Dum Do?

January 8, 2013 15:45:41 Posted at January 8, 2013 15:45:41
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, Fame, Splash

Well, it was inevitable: a Ryan Lochte reality show on E! It premieres in April and will feature Dum-Dum preparing for Rio 2016 and managing his clothing line and trying to find love. At 28? Training for another Olympics while getting your dick sucked by former child stars and aspiring actresses? I guess that sets up Season 4 then, non? Lochte sinks at the Olympic trials. Full Story

The Beckhams: leaving Los Angeles?

December 3, 2012 16:31:29 Posted at December 3, 2012 16:31:29
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, Splash

If so, he's going out a champion. David Beckham led the LA Galaxy to the MLS title on Saturday. He celebrated with his three sons, always publicly affectionate and tactile. I love this. And I wonder how much longer they'll let him. I remember my dad picking me up at the airport after I spent an entire summer in Hong Kong. Full Story

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H7 gets dropped off

November 22, 2012 16:56:45 Posted at November 22, 2012 16:56:45
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
INF

H7, her mother, and her brothers were dropped off at LAX the other night by dad David who did not travel with them to London as he’s preparing for the MLS Cup Final on December 1 once again against Houston. Needless to say, Posh and the kids will be back well in time to watch Becks play for the Galaxy one last time. Full Story

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The Brady-Bundchens go bowling

September 11, 2012 22:26:26 Posted at September 11, 2012 22:26:26
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Bauer-Griffin

I don’t know why it’s working out like this that every time I post about Jessica Simpson there soon follows a post about Gisele Bundchen but Maria may have started it with her article about the two last week - click here for a refresher - and now it’s like the universe is setting it up this way. Full Story

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Lochte goody-goodies Prince Harry

August 23, 2012 17:57:38 Posted at August 23, 2012 17:57:38
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Jennifer Mitchell/Splash

Prince Harry and Ryan Lochte both partied in Vegas. At one point they partied together. If I had asked you last week who would come out of the weekend pictured cupping his balls and bent over with his ass crack on display, what would have been your answer? The third in line to the throne or the Grand Poobah of Jeah? While Harry is ensconced at Balmoral waiting on Granny’s judgment, Lochte’s the one on The Today Show being all wholesome and snuggling puppies. Full Story

Lochte & Phelps Post-Olympics

August 14, 2012 18:03:26 Posted at August 14, 2012 18:03:26
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
NBC NewsWire/Getty

Michael Phelps’s new ads for Louis Vuitton, photographed by Annie Leibovitz, were released this week. Look at him in that suit with his hair all styled up. Aaaaand... I still prefer him in the pool. Just in the pool. Not talking, not mixing up his Asians Full Story

Ryan Lochte: The Bachelor in green pants

August 10, 2012 16:56:15 Posted at August 10, 2012 16:56:15
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Splash, PCN

As Sasha tweeted at me yesterday - Please let him never stop being dumb. Please let him never stop being Ryan Lochte, our favourite dum-dum, as Tina Fey would say. Did you watch Ryan Lochte on The Today Show this morning? As soon as Ryan Lochte starts speaking, I smile. A wide smile. A smile full of affection as he tries to sort the verbs and the nouns out in his head, and given that it was a sweaty late night last night, remarkably lucid, although, if possible, he was actually talking slower than usual. Full Story

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Good Morning Ryan Lochte

August 9, 2012 16:25:56 Posted at August 9, 2012 16:25:56
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Fame/Flynet

Sasha and I were emailing about this yesterday - it’s the same joy, though not quite as pronounced, that we get from Mariah Carey’s inability to walk, or her overuse of the word “bleak”, or when she complains about her twin pregnancy and what she had to endure... Such is Ryan Lochte’s dumbness. Full Story

Hot Harry at Beach Volleyball

August 8, 2012 20:45:51 Posted at August 8, 2012 20:45:51
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

What will we do when the Olympics are over? I love it so much I watch every event. Even the super-obscure ones. What will we do when there's nothing on TV anymore? What will we do when Hot Harry isn't out everyday? Right now, as of this writing, Harry and I are watching the exact same thing: the Women's Beach Volleyball Final. Full Story

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Ryan Lochte wants Hollywood

August 8, 2012 20:25:52 Posted at August 8, 2012 20:25:52
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

Ryan Lochte was out last night in London. He seems to enjoy getting papped, non? A lot. After London 2012, I wonder how he’ll deal with not being followed and talked about constantly anymore. Look at Ryan Lochte. Ryan Lochte doesn’t want to fade away and live a private life. Ryan Lochte wants it bad. Full Story

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Beckham’s Olympic weekend

July 30, 2012 15:11:57 Posted at July 30, 2012 15:11:57
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Tim Whitby/Matthew Lloyd/Getty, PCN

Please. The way he came up on that boat, wearing the sh-t out of his suit, come on. I will take that over Ryan Lochte any, ANY time. We will get to Ryan Lochte later. But if your argument is that Becks is dumb and talks with a weird voice, you should really, really avoid a Ryan Lochte presser is all I’m saying. Full Story

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Iker & Sara in Anguilla

July 23, 2012 14:11:35 Posted at July 23, 2012 14:11:35
Lainey Posted by Lainey

EXCLUSIVE Iker Casillas and Sara Carbonero spent the weekend in Anguilla. Am told the two are still deliriously in love, all over each other at the pool and the beach. Interestingly enough, at one point, according to other hotel guests, they were looking at a “big ring” on her finger and laughing. Full Story

Baby Blue and a braided bun

July 18, 2012 18:01:49 Posted at July 18, 2012 18:01:49
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

It’s the Blue Ivy Carter and her mother Beyonce in New York today. Look at Blue’s hair! All of that hair! And it’s her own hair. For now. Blue’s ma, as you know, hasn’t been seen with her own hair in many, many years. (Ever?) Right now, as you can see, Beyonce’s working a new braided weave. Full Story

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Pose hard in a trench

July 18, 2012 16:14:43 Posted at July 18, 2012 16:14:43
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

But first... Look at H7! She’s walking on her chubby little legs! H7’s mother is promoting her collection in Dublin. Check her out, working hard in a trench coat. Never a candid moment for Victoria Beckham, right? Not even with a microphone in her face. I love the absurdity of that shot. Full Story

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