Ruby arrives naturally

September 24, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at September 24, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She’s crazy…but still, am impressed. Doesn’t sound like something a spoiled diva would do, does it?

Charlotte Church opted for the homebirth on Thursday. Her daughter, little Ruby, arrived the new old fashioned way with media outlets reporting Charlotte had two midwives with her for the ride and did not have to leave the comfort of her own home.

Two midwives…but what about the Doula? The Doula ALWAYS gets overlooked.

Trust me, I live in Vancouver - tree hugger, lotus land, granola capital of the world - where midwifery is more than just a trend. Midwives certainly kick ass but if you’re thinking of going that route, it’s the Doula who will be your rock. She’s a coach, she’s a mentor, she’s there way before and way, way after. When it comes out and you’re like what do you want me to do with it? – it’s your doula who will give you the answer.

The question is – will Hollywood go au naturel? Will homebirths be the new macriobiotic diet?

My dear friend Erin is a Doula (click here for more info www.avetabirthing.ca) – very quickly gaining a bit of an all star reputation in the city – the very opposite of shallow and materialistic like me. I told her the homebirth process would totally have to be glammed up to appeal to celebrities, that these people need an entire hospital waiting on them hand and foot, and that the low key, at one with Mother Earth approach simply won’t fly with Jennifer Lopez.

Erin disagreed. Apparently if done right and modified accordingly, the Homebirth can be the ultimate in celebrity pampering. First of all – the privacy. No one has to see you looking like sh-t on either side of labour. Next – you can have your entire entourage present: a stylist and makeup artist for touch ups in between contractions and deluxe 500 thread count sheets not only to lie down on but even to clean up the mess…to say nothing of candles. Expensive candles burning, music playing, push presents waiting to be opened, cussing out your husband as the scent of Wolfgang Puck’s fresh bread wafts its way up the stairs while he prepares his Maternity Menu from the gourmet kitchen downstairs.

I don’t think Charlotte’s delivery was exactly this way but I can totally picture La Lopez. And the best part is - a Doula is adaptable. A Dedicated Doula will also work from the hospital and as the word’s original Greek definition implies, a Doula is essentially a woman servant, there for you from start to finish.

Please.

JLo will lose her sh-t over a Personal Labour Servant. Mariah Carey would probably get pregnant just to have a Personal Labour Servant.

As for whether or not Lopez is – from several sources buzzing around Oribe… word is she is.

Doesn’t the Hair Man always know first?