Best Delayed Gift with Worst Topping – John Krasinksi & Emily Blunt
JOE KLAMAR/Frazer Harrison/Getty
Remember when I ranted back in the day that I didn’t get to see them and their marriage enough? (Click here for a refresher.) That they had an obligation to show off how cute we all knew they were together? That I was entitled to see this? Apparently they decided I could wait until the end of January.
They were adorable. They were adorable even in the face of Giuliana who you know was ridiculously annoying. They managed to walk tall even in the face of the world’s stupidest question, “what’s it like being married to him? To her?” Why are we asking these things on a carpet?
But, true to form, he’s mild and she’s casual and it makes them both seem just so fun to hang out with, like you KNOW that as soon as they get in the car to go home, they started making fun of everyone they saw. They’re comfortable making a joke about how she doesn’t look all glam in the morning! I feel they have delivered for us the appropriate level of cuteness in a non-essential year, though I expect to hear more in the future. I want to want them to do a Barbara Walters interview, but I want them never to do it. You know?
Of course, I could pretend we weren’t all waiting to get to what she was wearing. Yes I loved that dress. Sure did. That colour is fantastic and rare, and she looked really happy in it, didn’t she? Lainey didn’t like the style and fit, and upon investigation, it’s not a jersey like I thought, but a crinkle chiffon, which certainly lends itself to the ‘why…exactly?’ even if the overall effect is pleasing.
My own bugaboo, however, is, um, higher. Are we in Grade 7, Emily? What’s with the parted-in-the-middle long straight bangs? Are you holding your hands in your sweatshirt to keep warm because you won’t wear mitts because your mom is so lame? What is this hairstyle? I hate it because it’s not flattering, I hate it because it invokes greasy hair even in the most shining of heads, and I hate it because it makes me think of people pinning back those bang-wings in gym class at 7:40 in the morning.
I suspect she meant none of this. I will only be mollified by flowing locks in the future. Thank you.