Well... This is about right. In her mind, that is. In her mind she’s dressing for her audience -- in this case the Licensing Expo in Las Vegas yesterday where she delivered the keynote address, talking about how she’s taking Goop global. Fine, but I haven’t hated a Gwyneth Paltrow outfit the way I hate this one in a long, long time. Full Story

Total Photo Assumption here but still... I love her, and I study her face, and it seems like, well, I feel like this is my G’s white knuckle face. Can you see it? Gwyneth Paltrow was in Chicago on Saturday to be honoured at the Gene Siskel Film Centre. Tickets were $400 and it was sold out. Full Story

Earlier this week, Page Six reported that Vanity Fair was preparing a cover feature on Gwyneth Paltrow but that she refused to participate, and was calling around telling her friends not to participate either. Click here Full Story

OMG. So Good For Gossip...if it’s true. Let it be true! And if it’s true I’ll buy 10 copies and preserve 9 in vacuum sealed envelopes for archival purposes. Because one day, I dream, someone super rich will build a Gossip Library. Is Vanity Fair preparing a slam piece on Gwyneth Paltrow? According to Page Six Full Story

Gwyneth Paltrow was out in London today with friends and or business associates. Looks like she’s heading to a meeting or something GOOP-related. G is usually in casuals and jeans when she’s not working. Should I have put the word “working” in quotations? I like those camouflage heels on her. Full Story

I was about to call it a day because my screener for Behind The Candelabra just arrived and the entire schedule has now been rearranged to accommodate. Nothing takes precedence over marble bathtubs and plastic surgery. EXCEPT, well, Gwyneth Paltrow just showed up at a party in London. And you know I like to get my G off quickly. Full Story

I don’t have to tell you how rare these are. And they were exclusive and expensive. Which is why I’m working them off on a long weekend in Canada. Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin were photographed together in London the other day. Smiling. And not running away. Well, not initially. Full Story

A new issue of GOOP. And it’s not wellness or mother-ness and food-ness. Instead, this newsletter is dedicated to GOOP Punk...at the MET Gala! For all her sh-tting on the event and moaning about what a terrible time she had, she still couldn’t resist sharing with us what the styling experience was like. Full Story

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chloe Sevigny -- don’t these two seem like the most natural enemies since cats and dogs? Since Kelly and Brenda? Since Mariah and all other performers? They’re both so pretentious but in slightly different ways, I can’t believe these two haven’t clashed before, but now it’s happening and it’s perfect. Full Story

It’s expensive. It’s awkward. It’s web-based. We must be talking GOOP here, right? Right. Over on Groupon this week, for the low low LOW (ie. high high HIGH) price of $2000 you can join the official “all-inclusive” GOOP NY Getaway. Full Story

Pretty much like the rest of us: breakfast with her kids. My mom is an amazing cook and food is a huge part of our family life, so I understand Gwyneth’s cooking philosophy. I don’t blanche at her dietary restrictions because I think many of us grew up not eating processed foods, minus the upper class privilege. Full Story

Click here if you missed my Girl Sh-t post on Gwyneth Paltrow yesterday about how she slagged the MET Gala and patronised Miranda Kerr. The photos in that article were taken of my G out to dinner on Wednesday night and it turns out she was meeting up with two radio hosts from Australia who’d won a contest, or something, it doesn’t matter. Full Story

Like handbags, Girl Sh-t comes in high end and low end. Low end would be, say, the housewives of whatever city. Slightly above that are the WAGs of whatever sport. For the luxury Girl Sh-t, you look to Anna Wintour. And, of course, my G. Have you seen this yet? Sasha sent it to me this morning. Full Story

After not punking in pink at the MET Gala, Gwyneth Paltrow made an appearance at the Apple Store in Soho yesterday with her friend Jessica Seinfeld, wife of Jerry, and one of the best bitch-facers in the business. Look at her, in the shot I’m including below, straight on, with her head sort of tilted. Full Story