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Intro for September 29, 2014

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Dear Gossips,

George Clooney’s wedding ended up being more of a spectacle than Beyonce’s and Beyonce is the queen of spectacle. Things you thought you’d never say…

Things that happened in 2014:

George Clooney got married.

Brad Pitt got married.

Kanye West got married.

When we check back with all three in five years, what will be the update? God I wish I had a time machine. If I had a time machine I’d check in with them in 2019 and I’d also fast forward to two weeks from now because I’m a chicken sh-t.

There’s a mole I’ve had on my upper lip, right where the bows meet. Over the last couple of years, a cyst has grown under it. And it won’t stop growing. I’m attaching a picture. From some angles, it looks like a pimple. Full Story

 

Adam Levine’s gross video

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We are nearing the end of Adam Levine’s reign as Sexiest Man Alive. Thanks God. I don’t get it. I have never gotten it. Not the music, not him. The video for Maroon 5’s Animals was just released today featuring Adam’s real-life wife, Behati Prinsloo. Full Story

 

Tom Cruise: single man standing

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Tom Cruise is working Mission: Impossible 5 in London. No breaks on the weekends, I guess, as he was seen on set yesterday double-fisting a Blackberry and an iPhone/Pod. Me too! So here’s what I was thinking today. List the top movies – universally considered to be Top Movie Stars, male: Denzel Washington, married Will Smith, married Robert Downey Jr, married Brad Pitt, married George Clooney, married – GEORGE CLOONEY IS MARRIED Johnny Depp, engaged Tom Cruise… Tom Cruise…? Single man standing. Full Story

 
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