These photos are four days old...but I love them. SO MUCH. It’s Donatella Versace at Madonna’s Milan show a few nights ago. Donatella has never not called herself a “rock chick” and, well, as you can see, she certainly dresses for it. In some parts of the world, or maybe most of the world, this outfit belongs on a Nickelback fan who wants her tits signed . Full Story

She was there last night to receive her honour. And she’s on the current cover of the magazine being interviewed by Jane Fonda. Have you read the article yet? You may have read excerpts, but the full piece, it’s amazing. Both are 3 times divorced. Both are... really, really, REALLY into themselves. Both spend a lot of time pretending to be into each other when they’re actually just trying to bring the conversation back to “ME”, the only word in their vocabulary. Full Story

And skinny as f-ck. And blonde. And, um, well, you know, in the face. Sh-t vs diarrhoea. Here’s Donatella Versace in blinding yellow in London last night and the wife of Kevin Federline Jr in Miami the other day, also in blinding yellow, at a book signing because... WHY? Every time I ask the question, at no time do I understand. Full Story

Can you tell them apart? Barely. Lindsay Lohan is too busy to attend alcohol education classes. Because there’s a party every night. Monday evening in New York was the Whitney Museum Gala. Lilo arrived with the worst coloured face ever and a pink coat and flaunted her drugged up face on the carpet. Full Story

Jonathan Rhys Meyers and Donatella Versace attended the White House Correspondents’ dinner together both matching orange. I’m telling you: he’s getting uglier. Turns my stomach the manicured facial hair and the way his lips are the same colour as the rest of his face. Gross. Considering their past fondness for the hard blow, putting them together could be disastrous. Full Story

Patrick Dempsey showed up at the Whitney gala last night without his scowly wife. Replacing her on his arm was none other than Donatella Versace who…well… you know what I’m about to say, I don’t have to say it, because all of you are feeling it: she’s raping your eyes. Full Story