Orange is not her colour. And this dress by Stella McCartney is NOT FOR THE MET GALA.Why am I shouting?Because I am mad at her. She was almost the overall Worst. What is that lace? What is that material? What is this effort? You don’t want to go? Don’t go. Because you know the Met Gala is more than just a lazy orange mid-calf cocktail dress with daytime shoes. Full Story

Same career, same prospects, pretty much the same dress. Sure they might be different shades, and there’s a neckline variety here and there but really, between the cut and the material, and who they are, there’s nothing that distinguishes the Jessicas Alba and Biel. It’s literally a wash. Full Story

I’m the loser who jumpy clapped when the photos started uploading. Of Sienna Miller arriving with Jude Law arm in arm at the Met Gala 5 years after calling off their nuptials post NannyGate. They’ve been dodging it for months. Even though it was established, even though there was no question, Sienna and Jude refused to walk down the street together, refused to talk about each other, refused to throw their relationship back into the public discussion. Full Story

She does a hair flower better than anyone else. I want to do a hair flower one day. But mine is so slippery the flower wouldn’t stay. And I’d keep cocking my head to one said and my neck would crick. Fashion, so often, is about suffering. It really really is. Sarah Jessica Parker wore Halston because, like, she “designs” for the line now. Full Story

Does that hurt? Because it looks like it hurts. To be her. It looks like it hurts a lot to be Renee Zellweger. Some stars, you see them, you feel comfortable, at ease, very relaxed. Other stars, like Renee, as soon as the photo comes up you cringe, there’s an ache in your back, you automatically adjust, maybe rub out a shoulder. Full Story

You have to see them in person. It’s CRAZY. The double gorgessity is CRAZY. Having seen them live before, at this event, pre-engagement and babies and loving it up hardcore, I know what it must have been like last night. They are ridiculous. I once walked by a colleague who was flipping through a magazine from the Met Gala in 2008 and of course there was a huge section of the page devoted to Gisele in that pale Versace with Tom on the steps (click here for a refresher Full Story

Points for trying something different. And only Maggie G could have pulled it off. But no points for scaring me. Maybe if it was a different colour. But the way it is now, with her face so severe, and the fabric like storm clouds gathered around her legs, like there are spells swirling in those skirts, and that black leather sash an eventual noose for an eventual victim, I imagine that if you were to walk past it would whisper at you, some horrible voice sliding up your neck telling you exactly when and where you’re going to die. Full Story

Am surprised Anne Hathaway was able to leave the event unscathed, without a knife wound in her side, a gift from Jennifer Lopez for essentially wearing the same dress. It was the same dress. Different designers but it was the same dress. Cinderella dress. Princess dress. Cotillion dress. The same dress. Full Story

How f-cking cute is Joshua Jackson? SO cute. And he’s so great at this event, year after year. Always. I spoke to him the first time he attended with Diane Kruger and he had to wait for her while she posed and he told me about how he pretty much had no choice about what he wore and it was pure confidence the way he said it like, why would I know what to wear to the Costume Institute Gala? Of course my lady dressed me. Full Story

Kiki. I’m with Kiki. You? Kirsten Dunst is wearing Rodarte for Gap. Compared to Emma Watson, as far as a one shoulder goes, Kiki’s is so much more interesting, especially the back. Quirky but still elegant, with personality, and totally suited to the night particularly paired with those gran boots. Full Story

You’re shouting at me, I am wincing, and I am sorry. Because as you know, I love her so much. Sometimes in a way that might be considered off side. Like... I feel like she’s ours a little. The way we watched her grow, how proud we are of her life decisions (school!), and how gracefully she’s eased into adulthood – Emma is our girl. Full Story

It’s that f-cking thing on her shoulder that’s the same colour as her hair so when I first starting going through the images and pulled this up I recoiled in horror because I actually thought Phoebe Price tried to crash the event with a ventriloquist dummy. It is NEVER A COMPLIMENT if I’m mistaking you for Phoebe Price. Full Story

Pink, lavender, whatever... it’s ... objectionable. Like really, really insulting. I mean, that colour, it should be outlawed, with few exceptions, for people over 6, 7 max. And those weird tit cups. And that black bow. And that goddamn feather ruffle skirt. Anna please put a ban on this sh-t. Full Story

Duana emailed while the photos were being loaded last night and told me to get online so we could argue about the dress porn. But the game was on. And I couldn’t disturb the energy. So we emailed instead. But we only ended up discussing Tina Fey. Duana thought her makeup was terrible. I thought it suited the night. Full Story