This is, so far, what the US version of The X Factor is for me. The judges and the host are featured on the cover of The Hollywood Reporter. First thing I fixated on was that weird blonde stripe that seems to be running up Simon Cowell’s head. Is it bad lighting? Why didn’t they fix it? This is making me crazy. Full Story

Simon Cowell has confirmed exclusively to Nikki Finke that Paula Abdul and Cheryl Cole are his choices to fill the remaining two spots on the US version of X Factor launching in the Fall. Both are currently negotiating their contracts. They’ve been trying to make Cheryl Cole happen for a long time now. Full Story

Page Six is reporting that Jessica Simpson’s pimp father Joe has been campaigning on behalf of his daughter to replace Paula Abdul’s vacated seat at the judge’s table on American Idol. Full Story

Earlier this week, Paula Abdul made headlines for an interview with Ladies Home Journal during which she allegedly admitted, finally, to being addicted to prescription pills for chronic back pain and had to detox in rehab – revealing she could have killed herself the withdrawal sucked so hard. Needless to say, it came as no surprise. Full Story

She could qualify for worst everything actually but we’ll spread the hate around and focus, for now, on the 6 story apartment building attached to her head – a flagrant violation of the laws of proportion, if such a thing exists. And if it doesn’t, it should. The problem is that the updo is the same size as her face, and since she’s only, like, 5 feet tall, it’s also almost the same size as her body. Full Story

When reality can no longer be counted on on reality tv, thank Xenu for a babbling fool like Paula Abdul. She’s always good for unscripted drama. Unscripted drama is the smutty best. Big news this morning – last night on American Idol, the contestants performed twice. Due to a tight timeline, judging only happened after all competitors had delivered their first songs. Full Story

Paula Abdul showed up at Lisa Kline last night and… well… see for yourselves. Can you identify the species on her head? Photos from Wenn.com  Full Story

This HAS to happen. It HAS to. TV Guide columnist, the brilliant Michael Ausiello, is reporting that Paula Abdul will perform at the Superbowl. And that it will be LIVE. Apparently Paula cut a new song with fellow judge Randy Jackson and has been rehearsing a new video. Even though it’s been years since Paula’s been anything but a judge on American Idol, even though on American Idol she can barely string together a sentence, even though she’s loopy as sh*t… Paula Abdul, in front of millions and millions of people, on US television’s biggest night, will take the stage. Full Story