Eva Longoria and Katy Perry… On EVERY level. Like WAY out of their league. And of course they both look like ass. Total ASS. Katy, poor thing, appears to be completely overwhelmed and tried too hard with that ridiculous dress. What the hell is she doing there??? And Eva, oh Eva, as always, armed with Ken Paves’s tacky brush, seems incapable of wearing a colour that doesn’t belong at a children’s birthday party. Full Story

Seems like it’s been forever since we’ve seen David Beckham playing soccer, doing his job. After a long absence, he was back this weekend with the LA Galaxy as Posh cheered on with Eva Longoria Parker. The lines in his face – they’re deeper, more pronounced the last couple of years, non? He is beautiful, quivering, always, still, but the age is unmistakable. Full Story

Too much hanging out with Posh. This is vintage Victoria Beckham: make everyone around you look worse. It’s working with Eva Longoria. And of course, it’s easy enough with Ken Paves cocking up her hair. The dress doesn’t help either. Of course it’s f&cking Marchesa! Photos from Wenn.com  Full Story

Hate defending Eva Longoria since she’s annoying as f&ck but this bump obsession is getting out of hand. First of all, it’s boring. Babies, pregnancy, ugh. But of course, this is not a popular opinion. What’s popular is to zoom in on the belly and to declare pregnancy after a celebrity commits the unthinkable and eats pasta for dinner. Full Story

What in the ass were they smoking at Forbes? Forbes has just released their Celebrity 100. Not surprisingly, Oprah checked in at #1. Angelina was #3 right behind Tiger at #2 who tees off at the US Open this morning and Brad finished #10. Will Oprah ever talk to Angelina? Or will she keep her loyalties to Jennifer Aniston at #17? The list will confound you in many ways. Full Story

Put your bony little ass in the car seat and sit the f&ck down! Check out Eva Longoria – who? Eva Longoria – who? Yes… Eva fecking Longoria tonight on the carpet at the Kung Fu Panda premiere trying desperately to divert attention away from the Pitt Porn. Really? Her? Maybe a Hot Harry on a Horse sex tape. Full Story

Adding fuel to the speculation that Victoria Beckham and Katie Holmes have broken up – last night Posh hit the town for an early birthday celebration and KatE was conspicuously absent. She’s been replaced though by another Kate – Beckinsale, that is, and Eva Longoria, who was interviewed recently about her friendship with Victoria and she explained that they were all about hanging out at each other’s houses and “eating”. Full Story

Eva Longoria keeps yapping about her pregnancy rumours but the thing is… I can’t remember any pregnancy rumours about Eva Longoria. I just remember her talking about pregnancy rumours. Which is probably how the rumours got started. Does a rumour constitute a rumour if you keep debunking the same rumour you started? Mindtwister. Full Story

Eva Longoria joined Victoria and Romeo Beckham and dozens of photographers on a Rodeo Drive shopping spree the other day. Apparently Romeo woke up and told him mum he really, really wanted to spend the afternoon at Dolce & Gabbana….which reminds me, didn’t she flip her Louboutins last year about the pap flashes affecting his epilepsy? Don’t forget though, she did say very recently in an interview with British Vogue that she’s only photographed when she wants to be photographed. Full Story

If you’re Posh, that is. Brooklyn turned 9 yesterday but dad was stuck overseas on a football tour so mom handled the party planning duties and threw a bash for 30 kids at Pink Taco, complete of course with kiddie swag bags – blue sport sacks filled with toys. Of course Victoria dressed for the occasion – appropriately. Full Story

Just didn’t care… did you care? Eva Longoria screams TV. Like whatever she’s wearing comes from the costume department at a soap opera. As for Ellen’s Nina Ricci - possibly the only woman who can make Olivier Theyskens look boring. Dull people shouldn"t wear champagne... Photos from Wenn.com Full Story

You’d think, now that she’s been on prime time for almost 5 years, that Eva Longoria could finally stop dressing for daytime tv, non? This is what happens when you work with Ken Paves. Ugh. So here’s Eva in London promoting her new movie Over Her Dead Body about, I’m serious, a woman who meets a man whose girlfriend just died. Full Story

A professional athlete cheating on his wife – it’s certainly not hard to believe. But call me Cruise… based on evidence revealed so far, I don’t believe. Do you believe? Did Tony Parker cheat on Eva Longoria immediately after they were married? Some French model is claiming to x17online.com Full Story

Saturday – David Beckham’s debut for the LA Galaxy vs Chelsea. He sat out the first half, came in late to thunderous applause as his wife, behind sunglasses and a cute black dress, sipped champagne from a private box, deeply engaged in conversation with the always opportunistic Eva Longoria. Full Story