As predicted...

March 11, 2010 09:17:29 Posted at March 11, 2010 09:17:29
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Porny was so cute and casual and pretty yesterday at the airport. Click here for a refresher. However, as I noted at the end of that article:

“But watch, tomorrow on the talk shows she’ll be back to what they make her: too old and too tacky. If only she would call me back.”

Sigh. I know my Porny. And I know she’s surrounded by dumbasses. And those dumbasses put her in dumbass clothes. Which is why she looked like this at Letterman last night. Too told, too tacky, as predicted.

It’s a terribly unflattering print, and the neckline does nothing for her thick neck and linebacker shoulders sitting on top of her tit tray, and the length of the dress, it cuts her off at the wrong part so her legs look stumpy, and WHY does she talk as though her teeth are wired together???

Many of you have written to rag on her interview – she sounds so dumb, she’s sounds like an idiot, she’s such a stupid twat.

Of course she sounds dumb. And I say this with the most affection – she sounds dumb because she IS dumb. Some people are born dumb. Genetically stupid. Some people just aren’t very bright. You can’t hold it against them. Fact: I am 5 ft 3. Fact: you have brown hair. Fact: Jessica Simpson is dumb.

Why then would you ever expect her to go on a talk show and sound not dumb? It would be like rewiring her DNA. This is not possible. It would be like me expecting to wake up tomorrow 4 inches taller. So no, I’m not giving her the gears for sounding like herself. In fact, I thought, apart from the weird mouth-wiring, that she did a great job.

How many others would have submitted to a line of questioning about their love life and admitted to being dumped on her birthday and humiliated by an ex lover? We complain when celebrities give generic answers, so we can’t complain when Jessica Simpson goes on Letterman and answers honestly. She answered as herself. And I’d much rather her answer as herself, dumb or not, than watch her front like she’s smarter than we think she is. Also, for all her public embarrassment, being f-cked around the way she’s been f-cked around, she actually answered rather gracefully about Tony Romo and John Mayer. If it were me I’d be dropping motherf-ckers all over the place and trashing them without mercy.

So no, contrary to what many of you must be thinking, I don’t think she performed poorly. Rather, I think she handled herself rather well. And Dave wasn’t giving her an easy ride either.

But the styling...

The styling makes me angry. It makes me angry that they can be so negligent about the way they send her out. Take a f-cking Polaroid – how hard can that be???



Photos from Wenn.com

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