They went to Paris Part 2
Back by popular demand, here’s the second installment of Duana’s Twitter inspired Gossip Girl recap. I have to say though, as ridiculous as this show has become, when Blair met Chuck on the bridge, I hurt a little inside for them. What? They can act a little good, can’t they?
Here they are in New York today shooting new scenes. I want that bag.
Gossip Girl “Double Identity”
Written by Duana
Thank you all for your amazing responses to last week's Gossip Girl tweets. This week made me anxious for New York...and not a soundstage. Here's hoping!
Previously on Gossip Girl, Dan was a weirdo, Blair is a mercenary who loves Chuck, and, as many of you told me, Georgina spoke Russian.
Gossip Girl tells me Paris clears out in August. Serena's jacket might be the reason.
Blair has a date with the prince. She says nothing can wreck her day. Standby on that, B.
S pretends like she actually eats either eclairs or napoleons and thus needs to be able to tell the difference.
Lilly phones to pass off her parental duties again. Could Serena identify Chuck's body? Yes? Neat.
Juliette effectively summarizes three seasons of Gossip Girl through the eyes of Serena's love affairs. Does a poor job pretending she doesn't know all this already.
Juliette tells Nate he has to outwit, outlast, outplay Dan for Serena's honey, with her help. Brooklyn is invoked as a reason this is a feasible plan.
Nate agrees to shower.
Serena is invited into a morgue with a man who says "zee body". She prepares to view the body. Her face does not change. Man has to go "test zee blood on zee wallet".
Sheet pulls back from dead body - live! Chuck! sex! Is beneath.
Fleur Delacour wants Chuck to stay in bed but he found a work ethic somewhere. He's off to work with her uncle. She's insatiable.
Dan sings a stupid song to the baby. He hates it. Juliette and Nate come to laugh at the stupidity of a 20 year old trusting Georgina ever at all.
Dan regrets singing a song about where Jenny isn't. Like on this show. Penn Badgley's hairline recedes visibly every time he does something this dumb.
The boys have a plaid-shirt-off about Serena. Because Dan has time to worry about which Ivy league school she's attending. Nate sniffs in Dan's phone.
Europe. Still no shots of our girls. Fleur Delacour has no job.
Chuck's cane-ambling ambles him in front of Blair's cab. She ignores him with badly accented Francais.
Something...Now Nate's girl is weirdly trying to get him laid, I.e. Single white female Serena. First stop involves manipulating Vanessa.
Nate pretends to care about how his friends are being manipulated.
Serena is pretty damn blasé about the fact that she saw a dead body this morning.
B drops knowledge on S that Chuck's in Paris. She can't conceive of a reason he would be there if not for her. Her dye job looms bad against the paint in this room.
Assetts/'Bassetts' joke. Terrible.
S vaguely thinks they should check on Chuck. Pretty sure she could be convinced to go for a pedicure instead.
I'm totally right. B wins.
Chuck works. In a bar. With a bad accented uncle.
Fleur is pissed at Chuck. Pretends to passive aggressive that he's mad at her. Chuck now hates Blair. Which is to say, Paris.
Rufus and Lilly pretend to care about the paternity of Milo. Lilly is always one step away from calling Rufus a whingey infant. Do it, Lilly!
Vanessa's top looks like she wove it herself.
Vanessa allows herself to be manipulated more. "Dan likes you" has been working on her since sixth grade.
Bad accent uncle sells out Chuck to S. She barely has to flash any boob to get the info.
Chuck's money is on the bed in front of Fleur. Somehow they don't have sex on it. Serena arrives. Chuck's all "I'm Henry! Nice boobs. Bye"
Blair eats street food on one of those bridges near the Place. Lainey and I almost got kicked out of the country for that.
Who is dressing Meester in peach? I'm over it.
Dan's fake never crying baby is sleeping. Vanessa transfers her issues onto it.
Dan is "grateful". Vanessa hears "marriage". Kissing.
Chuck to Serena - you still here? Serena says just because they have money and resources to disappear, doesn't mean...wait, she has no argument.
Chuck is erasing himself. Why didn't he pick a better name than Henry?
Dan and Vanessa did it. In the day. On a bronzish blanket.
Gullibility takes the form of V spilling her guts, getting Dan's fake baby again, and dragging the blanket away with her.
Blair had fun with Louis the whatever. Serena gets all Chuck's documents without so much as frowning or interrupting Blair's sentence.
Nate sees NO WAY OUT except for Juliette to keep manipulating him so Serena will bone him while Juliette watches.
B skips a talk about Chuck to go to Harry Winston. As you do.
S monotones that they should worry about Chuck. She also orders tea in this voice.
Inspector FakeAccent calls S. She'll be right there. Then confirms her hair appointment.
B doesn't have carte blanche in the jewelry store, I guess...but S does? They meet there. Over a ring of Chuck's? Do 12 year old girls follow this?
Plaid shirt brigade talk about how they both kind of want to share all the girls sort of. I mean, right? That's what they want?
Kiss, Nate and Dan. Do it.
Vanessa brats about Serena. Isn't someone going to tell her she never gets a vote where her own well being is concerned?
Blair weighs a potential wedding ring against the skankitude of Jenny Humphrey. Advantage? Skankitude.
Blair? Ballgown. Serena? Blue culotte/cigarette capris. The hotel? Been there.
Lilly allows herself to sit on a chair in Brooklyn, which frankly surprises me. Won't she catch scabies? Or bedbugs?
Plaid shirts make like they're gonna kiss some more. On a roof this time.
Dan is pretty philosophical about his missing baby mama. I wish Rufus would come out and crack a beer with these two and talk about How He Met Their Mother.
That’s it! Nate's new role is the new Jenny!
Battle of blondes on a Paris street. Serena holds Fleur back from running away with Chuck.
Blair goes to stop Chuck in some really beautiful lighting. She is damn happy to be having this confrontation in this dress, make no mistake.
Blair loved Chuck in the past tense. And pretends hard that he isn't a coward. In so many words.
Dear B, it’s not romantic if he keeps calling you a 'thing'. You knew that? Just checking.
He is, however, dressed up like Huck Finn. What, poor people don't save some money for laundry detergent?
S and B are all fine. Now that S is in New York, everything is fine apparently.
Nate pleads for the mean lady to stop pulling his puppet strings, and she essentially laughs at him. Nicely, but still.
Vanessa and her extensions allow themselves to walk around with Dan and be his consolation prize since Serena won't want a guy with a baby by her nemesis.
Louis the whatever makes a halfhearted attempt to keep Blair in Paris. They have a mercenary exchange and a kiss. Yay money!
Rufus and Lilly do the preamble to them being pregnant. I swear to you. Also, the new nursery looks like an insane asylum for cartoon monkeys.
Serena is in Brooklyn, so there's that. Everyone somehow storms their family reunion. Blake manages to modulate her voice on the word 'baby'.
Vanessa manages a funny about how fat she is. Because...totally. Shut up.
So Blair's luggage is primary colored. S has no boys. Juliette flashes shiny objects at Nate. Montage!
Lilly and Rufus detective that the baby isn't his because suddenly Rufus is Dexter and knows about the Punnet square of blood types? For real?
Juliette's scheming happens on a phone. Why not Skype?
Paris Chuck's cane makes him decrepit but now he is decrepit in a suit.
Fleur thinks about backing out of the whole Chuck thing, and then he's like "come home to my horrible cesspool of a life in New York. I told you it was evil and awful there, right?"
Photos from SINKY.MACCA/Splashnewsonline.com