VMAs: Twilight “Family”

September 7, 2012 14:23:13 Posted at September 7, 2012 14:23:13
Duana Posted by Duana
Photos:
Wenn, Kevin Winter/Getty

Things about the Twilight contingent’s presentation that were gross, in no particular order:

-Peter Facinelli’s dead-eyes as he calculated how much of his salary is worth him doing endless teen press.

-Taylor Lautner’s tan and sad uncomprehending smile. Does he know what’s actually going on, often?  Sometimes I’m not sure.

-Elizabeth Reaser’s inexplicable leather dress.   She maybe thought people were going to look at her?

-Pointedly referring to the Twilight cast as a “family”.   GEE WHO IS MISSING?

-Robert Pattinson’s outfit, from head to toe.

Look, this is enough now.  The rigmarole of the cuckold and the scorned (who I believe is coming up later in the day, as per Lainey)  and all of the “family” rallying around our poor dude…

It’s one thing to be sad, or to make a brave appearance.  It’s another thing to wear a series of jokes on your body and call them clothes.

Leather-sleeved baseball jacket.   Inexplicable purple shirt ending somewhere about your indistinct middle. Appearing to be freeballing in coloured jeans that aren’t tight enough, such that the appearance of genitalia is accidental and therefore sad…

You are allowed any ONE of these, not three.  I truly don’t understand.  Is it that being scorned by his love made him also fire his stylist?  Or, as he discovers who he is without her, does he decide he wants to heal by dressing like a Theatre Tech major in 1996?

Enough already.   Although, given how decrepit Pattinson looked, I was surprised there were no boos for Stewart during the trailer.  Then I rewound.  I think they cut out the arena audio altogether – probably for that reason.

Next scandal, please. We’re overdue.