Country Girls & Country Bitches

April 2, 2012 16:40:56 Posted at April 2, 2012 16:40:56
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, Jason Merritt/Getty


Now that her peers are publicly teasing her about her signature move - “Noooo...whaaaat...meeeee?” - does that mean Taylor Swift will stop doing it? I don’t hate Swifty. At all. And I like that she seemed to be in on it when she went up to collect her award from Blake Shelton. I mean, at least on the outside, she was willing to roll. Just me? Too kind?

Maybe it’s relative. Because on a night that featured the Country Bitch Carrie Underwood and LeAnn Rimes (why does she keep getting invited?), Taylor Swift certainly wasn’t the most offensive. Also the styling worked really well. It often works when the ringlets aren’t involved. Good makeup too, non? She looked good. Very, very, very good. Entertainer of the Year good. So there’s that.

Has Carrie Underwood ever been named ACM Artist of the Year? Yes, actually. Twice, I think. So why is it that she keeps dressing like an amateur? Looking at her you’d think she was still just the novice who won American Idol, an artist without access, without resources, who has to make do with the sh-tty ass dresses no one else wants to wear, pageant discards and gowns from 3 seasons ago. Country Bitch is indisputably one of the biggest stars of the industry. They pick her wardrobe like she’s Kellie Pickler. I don’t understand.

Can we talk a little hockey though?

A year ago I predicted a Mike Fisher trade from Ottawa to Nashville, bedside encouragement, if you will from his wife. The playoffs start in 10 days. And Nashville looks F-CKING SCARY. Please. None of the other teams will admit it but no one wants to see Nashville. Everyone wants someone else to take Nashville out. They don’t make stupid mistakes, they play smart and responsibly, they have some size now, and all of a sudden, they’re scoring goals.

Be afraid.

Be afraid that Country Bitch will be at the Stanley Cup Finals. Be very, very afraid.

And pray, if it’s going to be Detroit in the first round, that the Red Wings tie up home ice.