Parent Pimps Articles

Ok, Jaden

April 24, 2013 18:25:15 Posted at April 24, 2013 18:25:15
Dean Posted by Dean
Photos:
Christopher Polk/ Getty

It’s really hard to write about Jaden Smith. Here he is in Cancun, doing press for After Earth, the movie he made with his dad Will. Jaden is 14 and it’s obviously not fair to judge Very Young Hollywood by the same standards I feel so completely free to judge Adult Hollywood. He’s a kid. Full Story

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Porny props up her baby

March 25, 2013 16:17:14 Posted at March 25, 2013 16:17:14
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Jamie McCarthy/ Getty

Jessica and Ashlee Simpson were in North Carolina this weekend promoting Porny’s clothing line. Apparently some of that is maternity now? At some point during the event, Porny propped her kid up on the table for photographs. We can all agree this is a business engagement, right? So... I mean. Full Story

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Justin Bieber’s not pouty in Spain

March 15, 2013 16:48:11 Posted at March 15, 2013 16:48:11
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
FameFlynet, Chroma Press/ Splash

Justin Bieber is now in Spain. He performed in Madrid last night. This is a different face than the one we saw for a couple of weeks in England where he celebrated his 19th birthday by taking his shirt off, arguing with club owners over age restrictions, collapsing on stage, shouting at people over Twitter, and threatening to f-ck up the paps while being lifted out of his car seat by his babyguard. Full Story

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You must Believe...and then Delete

March 14, 2013 16:46:25 Posted at March 14, 2013 16:46:25
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

Textbook. Again. The exceptions are the ones who DON’T f-ck up, remember. And there are fewer and fewer and fewer of them. Then again, it depends on your definition of f-cking up. If they’re millionaires many times over, that may not qualify as a f-ck up, at least not yet. By Justin Bieber’s standards, being rich means he’s not a mess. Full Story

The “chic and healthy” mom reads the WSJ

March 12, 2013 16:44:21 Posted at March 12, 2013 16:44:21
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Jackson Lee/ Splash

It’s only lunch. Try not to roll your eyes so hard you have to go home. Here’s Jessica Alba on the morning show circuit in New York. She’s promoting her new book The Honest Life, evidently a companion to her company, The Honest Company -- green for baby, or something. Here’s the headline that accompanied her interview video on Good Morning America Full Story

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Prince Michael, correspondent

February 20, 2013 14:52:00 Posted at February 20, 2013 14:52:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
REHAB /bauergriffinonline

The first son of the late Michael Jackson, Prince Michael, is now a correspondent for Entertainment Tonight. He’s 16 years old. His first interview will be with the cast of Oz: The Great And Powerful. For Entertainment Tonight, it’s an obvious stunt-hire. And, well, it’s gross, non? Is the primary intention here really to learn what it takes to be a “producer, director, screenwriter, and actor”? Or is it so that they can help us rubberneck? Do you care what he asks James Franco? Or are you scrutinising him as he’s asking James Franco whatever it is that he’s asking James Franco? And besides, you don’t need to have experience in broadcasting to know -- most interns start as proper interns, the best way to understanding how a newsroom works: transcribing, running tapes, setting time codes, helping out with edits, running cable, the smaller jobs prepare you for the bigger jobs. Full Story

The Day of (a Mother’s) Love

February 15, 2013 17:36:52 Posted at February 15, 2013 17:36:52
Maria Posted by Maria

It was quite a tame Valentine’s Day, celebrity-wise. Jessica took Jackpot Johnson out for a spin, Goop showed us the joy of cooking for one and apparently Brad gifted Angie with breath mints. So when in doubt, turn to the mothers. Vanessa Minnillo shared a page from her private family diary with PEOPLE. Full Story

How Lindsay Lohan prepares for court

January 30, 2013 16:25:17 Posted at January 30, 2013 16:25:17
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, Jackson Lee/ Splash

After TMZ reported yesterday that Lindsay Lohan was trying to not show up at court by using a doctor’s note even though she was papped shopping in New York, she was seen with her mother Dina last night flying in to LA well after midnight. As you can see, she was well dressed for the occasion. Full Story

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Ashlee Simpson, Lucky Star

January 21, 2013 16:21:20 Posted at January 21, 2013 16:21:20
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Fame, Splash

This is Ashlee Simpson’s video for her song Bat For A Heart which looks to me like a millennial version of Madonna’s Lucky Star. She says “f-ck” and it’s supposed to be hardcore. How many different things has Ashlee Simpson tried to be? And is it unfair that we are critical of her, um, evolution because of her last name? At the beginning, when she fronted like a poseur Avril Lavigne -- in and of itself hilarious, someone posing like a poseur, and totally unironically -- Joe Simpson was all over it, and had probably created it. Full Story

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#cuttingforbieber

January 7, 2013 20:35:04 Posted at January 7, 2013 20:35:04
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
JN/TO/Splash

Justin Bieber was caught with what looks like a blunt and now his people are all trying to blame Lil Twist for being a bad influence. (Source) Why is it that when Justin Bieber does something generally perceived as “positive”, no one else gets credit for it? It’s a page out of the Lindsay Lohan Playbook: never take accountability. Full Story

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