Fontrum Articles

Johnny Depp holds his girlfriend

May 7, 2014 13:36:11 Posted at May 7, 2014 13:36:11
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Kevin Mazur/ Theo Wargo/ Getty

Do you feel like Johnny Depp is in your face a LOT these days? A lot more than he ever used to be? We’d go months not seeing him before. A long, long time. JD knew how to go underground. Like Tom Cruise, like Brange, he has the resources, he had the inclination. Then. Now? Now it’s almost weekly. Full Story

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Tom Hardy on Twitter

August 27, 2013 13:15:41 Posted at August 27, 2013 13:15:41
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Here are some ways an actor can make you hate him: 1.Be friends with Hollywood Ebola Paris Hilton 2.Hang out with Kellan Lutz 3.Date a Kardashian 4.Join Twitter/Instagram I actively avoid celebrity Twitter accounts. I actively avoid celebrities on social media. It’s too much fontrum. Full Story

Tom Cruise’s signature move

December 27, 2012 16:10:02 Posted at December 27, 2012 16:10:02
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Is apparently dancing. He dances a lot. He dances like your uncle at the wedding. Now that he’s single, the dancing is his go-to move. According to IN TOUCH Weekly, Tom Cruise is now seeing a NY restaurant manager called Cynthia Jorge. She boldly handed him her card and he called right away, inviting her out to a club the next night where he kept her on the dance floor with his salsa and then ground his pelvis into her all Patrick Swayze styles. Full Story

Gwyneth’s rocker pelvic thrusts

December 20, 2012 19:00:57 Posted at December 20, 2012 19:00:57
Lainey Posted by Lainey

What’s with the sh-tty celebrity endorsements lately? Jessica Simpson’s Weight Watchers has been kind of a bust. Brad Pitt for Chanel was...an embarrassment. And Gwyneth Paltrow’s 7 part Max Factor series is... well... Her first “persona” was the “writer”, wearing bangles and a blazer surrounded by paper -- click here Full Story

Back to back Jacks and Xenu’s rap

December 11, 2012 16:14:48 Posted at December 11, 2012 16:14:48
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

Here’s Tom Cruise at the London premiere of Jack Reacher last night wearing a lot of blush and bronzer. Contouring makes all the difference, you know? While Tom’s promoting his current release, a trailer for his next release, Oblivion, was released online yesterday. He plays another Jack. Full Story

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Brad Pitt’s fragrant fontrum part 2

October 17, 2012 16:29:08 Posted at October 17, 2012 16:29:08
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Oh good. There’s a second version of Brad Pitt’s Chanel ad. This time he’s still offering his pretentiously poetic thoughts about the universe only he’s not on camera the whole time. Instead, while Brad speaks, models appear on screen in scenes that remind me of the trailer to Cloud Atlas Full Story

Brad Pitt’s fragrant fontrum

October 15, 2012 15:58:23 Posted at October 15, 2012 15:58:23
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I never would have thought I’d put Brad Pitt and Fontrum in the same sentence though I suppose before the Oscars, I never would have thought I’d put Angelina and Try in the same sentence either but then she stuck her leg out and became a punchline and now it seems like it’s his turn. Full Story

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Spiderman’s German frontrum

May 18, 2012 18:09:04 Posted at May 18, 2012 18:09:04
Sarah Posted by Sarah

I don’t really know what this video is except horrifying.I have a motto—start exclusive, stay exclusive. This is my media/marketing approach. I’m a boutique person; I’d rather serve a smaller, more rarified clientele than be a big smashing hit with the masses. In marketing terms, it’s called courting the alpha consumer. Full Story

Fontrum by Kate Bosworth

February 17, 2012 20:15:54 Posted at February 17, 2012 20:15:54
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I learned this week that Kate Bosworth has a Twitter. Thanks WA! Or maybe that’s no thanks. Because when I went to see what she tweets about, it grossed me out.Kate’s boyfriend Michael Polish is on Twitter too. And he posted this photo below with the caption: JUST LIKE HEAVEN. Full Story

GG Fontrum: Madonna

January 16, 2012 21:20:43 Posted at January 16, 2012 21:20:43
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, Frazer Harrison/Jason Merritt/Robyn Beck/Getty

I grew up in the 80s. Madonna was my guardian angel, my camp counsellor, my ways and my means. What I’m trying to say is that I will always want to side with Madonna. She’s connected to my youth. And those inclinations, formed in adolescence, attached to teen memory, are almost impossible to corrupt. Full Story

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Living in the GMD past

December 2, 2011 16:41:26 Posted at December 2, 2011 16:41:26
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
TORU YAMANAKA/Getty

Did you ever see that Scientology promotional video where he sits there in a black turtleneck and pretty much goes crazy? I’ve attached it as the second video below. If you haven’t already, you need to watch it. It’s f-cked up, but really, really hilarious. Especially the Mission: Impossible soundtrack that plays throughout, like it’s the Church’s official theme song. Full Story

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The Rich & Famous embarrassing themselves

October 6, 2011 17:40:02 Posted at October 6, 2011 17:40:02
Lainey Posted by Lainey

This will be the best minute of your day.I PROMISE.The GMD went to a wedding recently. At that wedding, he decided to be the Britney Spears to Larry Ellison’s Justin Timberlake. Ellison is the guy who runs Oracle. He’s richer than f-ck. And they challenged each other to a dance-off. Xenu the merciful allowed this to be iPhoned for our enjoyment. Full Story

The balcony is his shower

July 18, 2011 09:02:05 Posted at July 18, 2011 09:02:05
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Don’t question. Just... enjoy....the sight of the GMD on his balcony in Miami this weekend throwing down some serious microphone moves, totally immersed he must be in his role in Rock of Ages. And it’s not like he doesn’t know he’s being watched. This isn’t the first time the paps have shot him there. Full Story

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I can’t watch...

July 14, 2011 07:05:00 Posted at July 14, 2011 07:05:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Straight through. I had to break it up 45 seconds at a time. Because the Fontrum, Jesus, I mean they say everything is bigger in Texas, and, well, that applies to Fontrum too. Anyway, maybe you can stand it better than I can. Maybe you can make it all the way through and if this is indeed the case, you have a much stronger stomach. Full Story