Boy/Man Sh-t is also the Best Sh-t

March 6, 2013 19:52:45 Posted at March 6, 2013 19:52:45
Lainey Posted by Lainey
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Girl Sh-t Is The Best Sh-t is a common phrase we use here at LaineyGossip and one I stole from my friend Lara. It really is. But Boy Sh-t is pretty great too. Previous examples of Boy Sh-t include Joseph Gordon-Levitt vs Michael Cera (click here for a refresher), Michael Bay vs Hugo Weaving, and Shia LaBeouf vs Jason Clarke and Tom Hardy on the set of Lawless (click here for that).

You know how they say some girls don’t get along with girls?

I wonder if Shia LaBeouf doesn’t get along with boys. Or, really, anyone for that matter.

And especially Alec Baldwin who isn’t exactly Miss Congeniality either.

Here’s what I love about Alec Baldwin -- he is a mouthy motherf-cker and he’s always good for drama. You want drama? Alec will deliver. Alec Baldwin will never, ever, EVER say “no comment”. You ask Alec Baldwin for his opinion, you’re going to get every Alec Baldwin opinion available. So this is what happened when Vulture asked Alec to offer a response to Shia’s tweet about the Theatre in that “(it) belongs not to the great but to the brash”.

Obviously Alec being Alec, he couldn’t keep it to under 10 words:

"I can tell you that, in all honesty, I don’t think (Shia’s) in a good position to be giving interpretations of what the theater is and what the theater isn’t. I mean, he was never in the theater. He came into a rehearsal room for six or seven days and, uh — you know, sometimes film actors — I mean, there are people who are film actors who have a great legacy in the theater. Some of the greatest movie stars had really serious theater careers and still do. And many film actors, though, who are purely film actors, they’re kind of like celebrity chefs, you know what I mean? You hand them the ingredients, and they whip it up, and they cook it, and they put it on a plate, and they want a round of applause. In the theater, we don’t just cook the food and serve it. You go out in the garden and you plant the seeds and you grow it. You know, it’s a really very, very long, slow, deliberate — it’s the opposite of film acting. It’s a much more intensive and kind of thoughtful process. And there are people who that’s just not their thing. So for those people who I think it’s not their thing, I’m not really interested in their opinion of it. But thanks."

God he is such a delightful c-nt. Gossip really is better that he’s a part of it.

And also...

These assholes are arguing about tweets now. Carry on.

So, as I mentioned the other day in relation to Justin Bieber, because restraint is going extinct, Shia HAD to retaliate. On Twitter, naturally, and exhaustingly. And again, by posting emails exchanged back and forth between him and the director of Orphans, Daniel Sullivan, the play Shia dropped out of a couple of weeks ago. You’ll recall, that was when he started sharing all the emails of love and respect that he exchanged with Alec and others from the production -- click here for a refresher -- including that apology that we subsequently learned he plagiarised from an article in GQ.

ANYWAY -- f-ck these people are longwinded -- since Alec is calling Shia inexperienced, Shia’s now ratting on Alec for being... unprepared? He’s posting messages from the director that suggest that he’s a more reliable and present worker than Alec, that he deserves a gold star more than Alec does:

"Don't be too surprised if Alec doesn't look up from his script much for the first few days. I suspect he's not nearly as prepared as you are. Not unusual at all when actors have a good long rehearsal time like we have. I just don't want it to throw you. I did a reading of another play once with Alec and about 10 minutes in I thought, 'Oh, I guess he's just going to read it.'"

Diiiiiick move, right?

Keep it a two cock fight, loser. Why you dragging someone else into the mess? Can you imagine what Daniel Sullivan must be thinking?

It gets dickier.

Shia also decided to make public an email thread between him and Alec which seems pretty innocent enough, until Shia decided to, as Maria just wrote to me, TELL THE TEACHER. Here’s how that went down:

Alec to Shia: We start on Monday but I’m so f-cking tired.

Shia answers Alec: im a hustler. i don’t get tired. Im 26 chief. (Who talks like this?!)

Alec back to Shia: Listen, boy. I'm not your f-ckin' chief. You got that? Ha. Hahahahaha. Let's go.

Seems harmless enough, right? Lighthearted almost? Hahahahhahaha?

And what does Shia do?

He FORWARDS THE EMAIL to the director, Sullivan, with the note:

I think he’s nervous

WHAT?

Ohhhh...so Shia’s a brownnoser, is he? An ass eating sell-out?

Ass eating sell-out vs preachy blowhard...

Who wins?

WE WIN.

They’re both f-cking crazy. As are, as I always say, most actors. This isn’t the exception. This goes on every day, all the time. Only most of them don’t play it out on Twitter. At least not yet. But maybe Alec and Shia have opened the door. This is the True Theatre.

“We ransomed our dignity to the clouds, and the uncomprehending birds listened. Don't you see?! We're actors—we're the opposite of people!” -- Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead

Attached -- Shia trying to be a badass with his bald head last week even though I just compared him to Justin Bieber.

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