Gross Articles

Leo bookends the week

July 11, 2014 16:05:40 Posted at July 11, 2014 16:05:40
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
FameFlynet

We began the week on Monday picturing Leonardo DiCaprio on top of you using photos of him at the beach on Independence Day weekend. Oh, wait, what? You forgot? You need to be reminded? Don’t picture Leo from Romeo + Juliet. Picture Leo now. On top of you:  Full Story

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The difference of one summer

July 10, 2014 18:56:07 Posted at July 10, 2014 18:56:07
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

Last summer, Blurred Lines was blowing up the radio. This summer… Well, I’ve not listened to one full song on Robin Thicke’s new album, Paula. It’s like I live in the UK, because only 530 copies were sold there in its first week. Or Australia, where only 54 copies were sold. Full Story

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Begging at the BET Awards

June 30, 2014 13:42:15 Posted at June 30, 2014 13:42:15
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Kevin Winter /Getty Images

God. Would Robin Thicke please F-CK OFF? I know I can’t say it on behalf of Paula Patton. But I wish. I hope that’s what she would want us to think. I hope that she would want us to tell him to f-ck off for her. Or, at least, shut the f-ck up. The gross skeeve performed last night at the BET Awards. Full Story

Elizabeth Hurley: P.H.O.T.O.Y

June 23, 2014 20:14:51 Posted at June 23, 2014 20:14:51
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Xposure/AKM-GSI

You know, there’s JLO and her Slum Love and then there’s Elizabeth Hurley and her…well… My problem with JLO is that if you’re going to date a backup dancer, keep him as the backup dancer – like Madonna – and don’t give him the f-cking job as your head choreographer. Full Story

“I can’t make love to you anymore”

June 23, 2014 16:28:53 Posted at June 23, 2014 16:28:53
Lainey Posted by Lainey

That’s about as far as I could make it. Robin Thicke’s new video for the song Get Her Back, part of his new album full of songs about getting her back. Her being Paula Patton. The album is called “Paula”. F-ck everything he is so gross. GROSS. As you will see, Robin is bruised and bloodied because he’s sad and pathetic and while he’s being sad and pathetic at the camera, he’s also sharing some of the text messages that he and fake Paula have exchanged over their breakup. Full Story

Picture Him On Top Of You: Robin Thicke edition

June 3, 2014 20:32:05 Posted at June 3, 2014 20:32:05
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, Dave Spencer/ Splash

I have never found Robin Thicke attractive. He’s always smelled like skeeve to me. And that was before Blurred Lines and putting his fingers up a random’s ass on Instagram. But now that he’s done all that? Dude is dripping douche oil all over the place. The buzzed hair isn’t helping. Full Story

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Picture Him On Top Of You: Johnny Depp edition

June 3, 2014 19:38:13 Posted at June 3, 2014 19:38:13
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
FameFlynet, James Haynes/ Splash

Never, ever, ever thought we’d play my game, Picture Him On Top Of You, featuring Johnny Depp. Ever. When I invented it, it was because we kept covering these Hollywood parties we’d always see these women, these gorgeous gorgeous women, wrapped around the grossest, sickest, vilest, richest men. Full Story

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Ashton Kutcher: what a great man

May 15, 2014 15:02:05 Posted at May 15, 2014 15:02:05
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Frazer Harrison/ Kevin Winter/ Getty

PEOPLE  posted the grossest article yesterday about Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher. The title: Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher: How They're Preparing for Their Baby Girl Fine. They could be decorating the room. Or going to breathing classes. Full Story

If this was your dinner companion…

May 9, 2014 16:54:33 Posted at May 9, 2014 16:54:33
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, FameFlynet, David M. Benett/ Getty

Imagine you’re at a gala and a male table companion shows up without a jacket, his shirt unbuttoned literally down to his stomach. It’s obscene. OBSCENE. Vile. Even if it were David Beckham it would be obscene and vile. But it’s especially obscene and vile being that it’s Simon Cowell. Full Story

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Johnny Depp holds his girlfriend

May 7, 2014 13:36:11 Posted at May 7, 2014 13:36:11
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Kevin Mazur/ Theo Wargo/ Getty

Do you feel like Johnny Depp is in your face a LOT these days? A lot more than he ever used to be? We’d go months not seeing him before. A long, long time. JD knew how to go underground. Like Tom Cruise, like Brange, he has the resources, he had the inclination. Then. Now? Now it’s almost weekly. Full Story

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Mr Peanut & his fiancée at the MET Gala

May 6, 2014 15:56:49 Posted at May 6, 2014 15:56:49
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, Dimitrios Kambouris/ TIMOTHY A. CLARY/ Getty

So many of you emailed and tweeted at me about this last night. The Mr Peanut thing. And several other outlets are on the peanut train. And I decided I’d be lazy and just go with it because Johnny Depp has become a cartoon cliché. So why should I expend any originality on his ass when I could be saving it for someone else? Mr Peanut it is. Full Story

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Picture Him On Top Of You: Simon Cowell edition

February 26, 2014 15:36:26 Posted at February 26, 2014 15:36:26
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
FameFlynet

This is a game I invented to play at parties. I first wrote about it here, when a few of us were covering a celebrity festival allnighter, looking at hot models being groped by gross rich men. Everyone has a line, right? How much money or what connections would it take for you to control your gag reflex? What would have to be promised to you? What do you gain by suppressing your disgust? So. Full Story

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This isn’t helping

December 10, 2013 15:02:23 Posted at December 10, 2013 15:02:23
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
FameFlynet

We’ve been documenting the rapid decline of Johnny Depp’s appeal over the last couple of years. He’s making it easy. Check out Johnny caught with his pants down while filming a scene for Mordecai last night in London. I mean, I know it’s just a character, yet another weird and quirky character he’s adding to his ever-growing resumé of weird and quirky characters. Full Story

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#ThisIsUnbroken

November 12, 2013 18:04:06 Posted at November 12, 2013 18:04:06
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Scott Barbour/ Getty

Reality is an asshole. We live in a world where Robsten could not survive but Elizabeth Hurley and Shane Warne are still happening. Or happening again, depending on how you see it. Rumour has it she took a break from him because he was being a pig over text with other women. Him? HIM? Shocker. Full Story

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