Bear is being watched

August 3, 2012 22:14:49 Posted at August 3, 2012 22:14:49
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
FameFlynet

An interesting article appeared on PEOPLE.com today titled:

Jennifer Lopez Becoming Short-Tempered Around Casper Smart

Whaaaat????

But they're not even married yet. Everyone knows she doesn't actually open her eyes and stop thinking with her dumb heart until she marries them and gives away too much of her money. How did this happen?

According to PEOPLE's source, JLo Bear's family is "watching him closely" because he's "moved into her life -- and a little too easily".

And while she's totally behind him against the recent tabloid reports about him getting jerked off at an exotic massage place (come on, those stories were so sketch, I couldn't even convince myself to believe them) apparently JLo is "getting frustrated with (Casper Bear)" and is starting to snap at him. The source did not specify what she snaps at him for but did tell the magazine that a breakup is not imminent because "Jennifer is the kind of girl who doesn't like to be alone; until she finds a replacement...he's around".

Remember, this is PEOPLE reporting. They don't have the balls to go with a story like this unless it's been signed off safely so as to not jeopardise future dealings with celebrity. JLo herself? I can't see it. She's too busy being a love bear. And that's what makes it so interesting.

Because if not JLo...then who?

Someone on Team Lopez is sending a message to Casper Bear. The message is as follows:

We are on to you kid. She can't see your bullsh-t but we can. Check yourself.

As I previously reported, I'm told Casper Bear's been trying to leverage brand endorsements and other lucrative opportunities through his role as her boyfriend. These moves are clearly not being well received by the others on the Lopez payroll.

And there she is, in the middle of it, seemingly oblivious to the threat of civil war that might just explode her life.

Strategic move on behalf of her team? I'm not convinced, if only because she's such a f-cking hopeless romantic. Nothing would be more intoxicating to her, especially right now, than to believe that it's Bears against the World, you know? That it's up to Bears to hold each other, tight, while the enemies try to force them apart.

This was part of the draw, way back, between her and Ben Affleck too, remember? Everyone said they were mismatched. The more they said it, the more they got off on it. Like...what we have is so special, of course you people don't get it; you're not evolved enough to get it!

And I wonder if an aggressive play like this won't harden Casper Bear's resolve too. They've officially tipped him off that they're monitoring his ass. It's like giving him a heads up to plan a counter attack. He'll only dig in deeper. And that just means it'll be harder to get rid of him.

Me I would come at this a different way. I'd try to squeeze out Casper Bear by sending in a challenger. And I nominate Joe Manganiello.

Joe Manganiello is shameless. Joe Manganiello is like the Ashley Greene of True Blood. But that's still several levels above the Bear. And he does have a certain physical appeal, if you're into that kind of thing.

JLo is a romantic but she's also a flattery whore. It won't be hard to get Joe in the door. When he's there then, she'll suddenly be the prize in a romantic stand-off which, obviously, will stroke her vanity even more. She would love nothing more than the drama of having to choose. And the narrative writes itself:

She'll let go of her young lover, thanking him for being a part of her life that she's finished with, and, as the passionate heroine of a new chapter, she'll run into the strong arms of a "real man" ready for all the woman that she is.

Much better, right?

I would consult on this for free.

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