Sasha Fierce Lite

January 22, 2013 17:42:03 Posted at January 22, 2013 17:42:03
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
John Moore/ Alex Wong/ Justin Sullivan/ Getty


Beyonce was remarkably restrained yesterday at the inauguration, don’t you think?

Just imagine what it could have been:

Instead of opening her number with her back to the million, legs spread apart, and an ass jiggle followed by a hair whip before singing the first bars of The Star Spangled Banner, Beysus surveyed her people majestically, without a coat on, of course. Everyone else kept their coats on but B, I mean, at least give her that. You would have wanted to see her dress anyway.

And then she sang, beautifully, even though her earpiece was bothering her. Even if her earpiece WASN’T bothering her. I really don’t think it was. The point is, motherf-ckers, she threw that down without having to hear herself because goddamn, she IS the Beyonce, the mother of the Blue Ivy Carter, and this is her president, and she WILL give bless the occasion with her voice.

Look, there was no wind machine.

Any time there’s no wind machine, Sasha Fierce is holding back.

According to Tom Brokaw, President Obama’s inauguration speech was just the first part of a two part manifesto, the second of which will be delivered at the State of the Union. Similarly, what you saw from B was the prelude to the Super Bowl. And this is when she will bring the fire and stop the planets. She will snarl and she will grin, in that way only she can. While upside down or something, swinging from a stiletto without missing a note, before power strutting to every corner of her stage, ordering you to FALL TO YOUR KNEES.

By her standards then, I’m telling you, yesterday was barely halfway.

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