Gwyneth’s Spring Cleaning Sale

March 14, 2013 19:33:59 Posted at March 14, 2013 19:33:59
Sasha Posted by Sasha

(Lainey: and continuing with the Gwyneth theme of today’s blog, here’s Sasha with her thoughts on Gwyneth’s garage sale -- she’s selling some of her clothes as part of the GOOP Spring Cleaning feature.)

My problem with Gwyneth is that she loves to pretend that she’s just regular folk who, oh you know, happens to have movie star parents, a rock star husband, BFF legends and an ass load of cash.  She’s been wearing the coat of privilege for so long that it’s totally messed her perception of what is actually attainable.

Now here’s the deal, I’m totally cool with un-attainability. I just wish she’d be more upfront about it.  I’m a plebe, and I want her to treat me like one - is that too much to ask?!  So I have to say that when Lainey insisted (yelled) at me to check out today’s GOOP I was a bit surprised.

If you check out her site you’ll see that G is selling some of her clothes for charity. That’s all good and fine, but what’s this crap she’s schilling?!  A Value Village denim skirt? A floppy shapeless blazer? Where are all the jewels, bitch? Where’s all the endangered animal fur? Where’s all the good Stella McCartney?  

You guys, you see what she just did, right?  She put us in our place and bottom-fed our asses with her sloppy seconds. And I know I might be alone in this, but that’s how I like to consume Gwyneth Paltrow.

Click here and here to see.

Previous Article Next Article