I just tried to imagine my Mimi tucked under a Christmas tree with her hair arranged around her the way they do wedding gowns, and her cleave propped up on a few presents, with her ass positioned towards the camera, and it filled me with such yearning -- why have we not seen this yet? Because, stupid, Mimi doesn’t belong under a tree, she should be ON TOP OF IT. Full Story

Or I might have to fight Sasha for the privilege. I’m at work in Toronto this week and it’s been a little old school. Duana, Sasha, Michelle, and I met at etalk several years ago. Back then it felt like camp. We don’t normally see each other every day and end up emailing back and forth several times instead. Full Story

Last year Mimi was part of the Incredibles. She, Nick Cannon, and DemBabies all dressed up in the same costume. It was truly family styles. Well... Enough.Of.That.Sh-t. F-CK. That sh-t. Why should Mimi be one of many? This year she righted the situation. This year Mimi was Goldilocks. Full Story

How long do your massages last for? Or...how long can you afford for them to last? Typically, in my experience, I’ve found that massages at a proper rehabilitation clinic are a lot less expensive than the ones you get at the spa. But if the therapist is making a house call? You know, $1500 sounds about right. Full Story

We need a mood cleanse from that blind riddle, don’t we? It’s either puppies or babies then. Oh but please. Why do I lie? Babies and mommies > puppies, especially right now. Because we can’t seem to get enough of people having babies. It’s like the human race just started having babies. Full Story

Mimi was in Macau (likely paid by some gambling billionaire to sing 3 songs for upwards of half a million) and just posted this on Instagram. You walk sideways to get onto a private plane, didn’t you know? And just off camera, two bodyguards have their arms outstretched just in case she topples over. Full Story

As I wrote last week, Nicki Minaj is getting seriously outplayed by Mimi on American Idol. You can’t take down the Mother of Dem Babies, an experienced Bitch, with a Twitter rant even if you do have more followers. Full Story

I wrote yesterday that Nicki Minaj needs a Bitch Coach. Because Mimi is seriously outplaying her; she has a lot more experience. Oh ignorant youth... Think about it -- while Nicki’s trying to take down a Bitch legend on Twitter (obviously unsuccessfully), Mimi hasn’t even STOOD UP yet. Full Story

I am about to board a flight back to Vancouver right now and I’ve written a couple of articles that will be posted soon, but I just wanted to make sure before I go offline for five hours that you all check Nicki Minaj’s Twitter before it gets pulled down.  She’s going hard at Mimi. Full Story

There was no throw-down yesterday in North Carolina during Idol auditions. TMZ reports Mimi and Nicki Minaj decided to chill themselves out, supposedly “embarrassed” that their scrap was made public. It’ll be a temporary peace. Nicki is young; she’s not yet learned that sometimes you have to eat it and wait for a bigger score later on. Full Story

Girl Sh-t Is The Best Sh-t. It’s the running theme of this blog. It’s the founding principle of Gossip. Girl Sh-t Is The Best Sh-t, in all its various permutations. And we have several of them happening concurrently here: - Mega Ego Attention Whore vs Mega Ego Attention Whore - Veteran vs New Jack - (Fake) High Class vs Hustler Please. Full Story

Please! Let it be January! And let them edit this the way we all want to see it -- f-ck the appearance of being nice and diplomatic. I mean, this is why our Mimi was asked to be a judge, right? Not because she’s particularly interested in finding a new superstar but because she’s only interested in us paying attention to the ONLY superstar worth mentioning: HER, of course. Full Story

It’s amazing, isn’t it? Our Mimi’s ability to keep reinventing the art of doing as little as possible? Mimi delivered two performances at the NFL kickoff last night. Sort of. For Triumphant, she appeared only halfway through the song, showing up in a pre-recorded video for the beginning with the title FASHIONABLY LATE as she sat in the backseat of a car, moving only her upper body. Full Story

As reported yesterday American Idol is apparently negotiating with Nicki Minaj to replace Steven Tyler. The people who run American Idol obviously don’t know my Mimi. Here’s what I wrote in the original post yesterday - click here for a refresher - in response to the news: Did they even consult with Mimi? Never mind the actual show, how will they even get through the seating arrangement process? Does Mimi seem to you like she plays well with girls? Girls who are younger than she is? And mouthy ones who like to stunt as much as the Minaj? TMZ Full Story