One Day More

April 24, 2014 16:03:45 Posted at April 24, 2014 16:03:45
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Stefan Postles/ Pool/ Getty

Come on. How could I resist? You know how I feel about Les Miserables. And if you want to read something subversive into it, considering the subject matter, fine, but really, I’m just thinking of a song.

Anyway, Prince William and his Catherine are almost at the end of their tour of New Zealand and Australia. They leave tomorrow. So today they packed in a lot. There was a visit to the National Arboretum in Canberra. I guess that’s why she wore green? Also they stopped by the National Portrait Gallery. And Will gave a speech at Parliament House.

In the evening the Cambridges attended a reception at Government House. She wore off-white and it was alright, but I can’t, CANNOT, CANNOT, CANNOT with this matron hair. Women! There are ways to wear your hair up that is both elegant and not-grandma. What she’s doing here? It’s super grandma. My people would call it “ah ma”. That’s actually the prescribed hairstyle for an “ah ma”. In Chinese soap operas about ancient times, the unmarried girls wear their hair in braids hanging down, with elaborate twists and ornaments. As soon as they get married? All of that disappears. The hair is swept up exactly like Kate’s. Because the idea back then was that as soon as a woman became a wife, she RETIRED from attractiveness.

That’s the old school bullsh-t that this hairstyle –as worn by the (only) 32 year old future Queen – represents! The point? F-ck this hair.

Another point?

One day more…and Big G might not be coming out again.

I’m shaking my fist at them now. Give us some Big G before getting on that plane back to England. And let him be in a bad mood. Like this:

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Or in a ragey mood. Like this:

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