Superman is super sad you guys

December 12, 2012 15:41:10 Posted at December 12, 2012 15:41:10
Sarah Posted by Sarah

Have you heard about Superman? He’s like, totally sad these days. I guess that whole crab fisherman thing didn’t work out because he’s moping around, sporting a sadness beard. Superman’s beard is the saddest beard that has ever bearded. It’s practically having its own existential crisis. He’s sad since everybody hates him because of that one time when he saved a bunch of children from drowning in a school bus accident. Is that why he ran off to become a crab fisherman? That part still doesn’t make sense. And OMG, did his dad just tell Superman he should have let those kids drown? No wonder he grew up and got arrested. His dad told him it’s okay to let bus loads of kids die. He probably grew a whole new prison-themed sadness beard because of it.

The second trailer for Zack Snyder’s Superman reboot, Man of Steel, came out yesterday and this time it features less crab fishing and more sadness beards and billowy capes. There’s a really great shot of Superman’s cape billowing as he walks across the ice—if nothing else, this will be a pretty movie to look at. The pretty is aided by Henry Cavill, who looks great as Superman, even with the sadness beard. He sounds great, too, all earnest and determined and melancholy.

And boy is Superman ever sad. The movie could just as easily be called Man of Sadness. I suppose this is how they’ve chosen to overcome the inherent boringness of the character—introduce introspective angst. In and of itself, that’s not a bad idea, but coming on the heels of The Dark Knight Rises, he’s just another self-loathing superhero. Produced by Christopher Nolan and written by Nolan’s Batman collaborator David Goyer, Man of Steel reeks of Gotham. By June of next year, when the movie comes out, I probably won’t care but right now it’s overkill.

This trailer also gives us a good look at all the key characters in the movie, from Russell Crowe as Superman’s alien dad (looking very Gladiator-y, as Lainey noted) to Diane Lane as his adopted mother, Michael Shannon as bad guy General Zod, Amy Adams as Lois Lane and Kevin Costner as Earth-dad, who thinks it’s okay to let people die if it’s somehow advantageous for Superman. There’s a lot of talent involved, so the movie should be at least halfway decent.

I can’t get one hundred percent behind Man on Steel, though. Partly that’s down to Superman being boring and without serious conflict no matter how big of a sadness beard he grows, but it’s mostly due to my fear of director Snyder. Sure he can deliver a beautiful image, but Sucker Punch was straight-up trash and Watchmen was weighed down by its own excess. Having Snyder as a director really isn’t a guarantee of anything. As solid as this trailer is—and it’s pretty solid—and as much as the fanboys are flipping out, I can’t help but remember that everyone loved Sucker Punch after seeing the trailer, too. This trailer makes me cautiously optimistic for Man of Steel but I’m not convinced that it’s a proper good movie and not more Zack Snyder smoke and mirrors.

I still can’t believe Superman’s dad said it was okay to let a bus full of children die. What a dick.

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