Twats Articles

Life After George

May 16, 2012 15:57:34 Posted at May 16, 2012 15:57:34
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Gareth Cattermole/Getty

While George Clooney talks to dogs and Stacy Keibler lives at “our house”, her predecessor is in Cannes, getting groped on a yacht by Admiral General Aladeen.  I mean...I guess you always go back to your beginnings. Which means someday I’ll be a nerd again with thick glasses following around mah-jong ladies in Hong Kong. Full Story

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What Anna didn't want

May 10, 2012 17:03:25 Posted at May 10, 2012 17:03:25
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

So here's Lindsay Lohan in New York at A&E Networks 2012 Upfront at Lincoln Center last night. Now you know why Anna Wintour didn't want her at the Met Gala. Lohan was in town. You know she wanted to go. You know she would have tried. And Anna shut it down. The Met Gala is out of reach for Lindsay Lohan now. Full Story

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Lohan punks Woody, begs Anna

May 7, 2012 14:27:55 Posted at May 7, 2012 14:27:55
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, Sharpshooter Images/Splash

Woody Allen agreed to meet Lindsay Lohan for dinner the other night in New York. The paps were there to shoot them on their way out. Of course. And who do you think texted them the location? As you know, the Met Gala is tonight. Rumour has it Lohan is desperate to attend. And desperate to find someone to dress her. Full Story

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This Gross needs the Gossip Genie

May 3, 2012 17:56:29 Posted at May 3, 2012 17:56:29
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
GSI

LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian have been married a year now. There was some kind of vow renewal. And then they went on holiday last week where she showed off her ass in several bikinis. What? Of course the paps were there. One pap was there. So the shots are exclusive and it happens to be the same agency that keeps getting pictures of them while they’re on the beach, getting engaged, and generally just being gross. Full Story

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TV Movies & Tabloids

April 25, 2012 15:02:13 Posted at April 25, 2012 15:02:13
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

As you know, Lindsay Lohan is officially playing Elizabeth Taylor in a LifeTime TV movie about the legend. A lot of people are upset about this. But why? As I wrote in January, Lindsay Lohan, who once made feature films, is now working for LifeTime. LifeTime! Like, she’s on the same level with Jennifer Love Hewitt. Full Story

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You can’t be polite around Lindsay Lohan

April 5, 2012 18:18:41 Posted at April 5, 2012 18:18:41
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

Robert Pattinson is dating Kristen Stewart. And they are very serious about each other. And he’s really, really into her. And he did not cheat on her with Lindsay Lohan. The problem with Lindsay Lohan however is that you can’t mess around with her sh-t. Like not even a polite greeting. Having bad manners is forgivable when they’re directed at Lindsay Lohan. Full Story

Lindsay Lohan is not George Clooney

March 14, 2012 16:26:15 Posted at March 14, 2012 16:26:15
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Splash

Oh look. Lindsay Lohan f-cked up. Where?She was leaving a club. Where else? Lohan was driving. She was trying to avoid the paps. Apparently she struck the club manager - very, very gently - while she was trying to turn around. Then, without getting out of the car and seeing if the dude was ok, she drove away. Full Story

Everything in Lohan perspective

March 6, 2012 21:19:40 Posted at March 6, 2012 21:19:40
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Asadorian-Mejia/Splash, Lisa Maree Williams/Getty

Earlier today, Michael K at Dlisted posted these photos of Debbie Harry and Lindsay Lohan. Harry was horrifyingly mistaken for Lohan. Debbie Harry, by the way, is 66. Lindsay Lohan is 25. And then there’s Tara Reid...There was a time when it couldn’t get worse than Tara Reid. Full Story

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Lindsay Lohan’s meaningless SNL

March 5, 2012 15:43:25 Posted at March 5, 2012 15:43:25
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

I was at a junket on Saturday waiting with other reporters when the subject of Lindsay Lohan came up. Almost everyone agreed that she would be solid that night on SNL. And then we disagreed on whether or not it would mean anything, lead to a career comeback. There were 6 of us. Curiously, both Canadians were of the opinion that even if Lohan was awesome, it still wouldn’t make a difference because her face is now too far gone to recover, to put her in contention for any significant roles beyond “prostitute junkie sister who helps main character escape”. Full Story

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Still the asshole who namechecks the Oscars

March 1, 2012 16:21:16 Posted at March 1, 2012 16:21:16
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

Lindsay Lohan’s interview with Matt Lauer on The Today Show aired this morning. She says she’s changed and learned and is ready to move on and whatever, the same sh-t she’s been saying for years. And then, of course, when asked what she’ll be doing in 5 years, what she’ll be like at 30, the FIRST THING OUT OF HER MOUTH, right off the top, is:“Hopefully I’ll have just come from the Oscars this past weekend. Full Story

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All the wrong colours

February 22, 2012 19:17:26 Posted at February 22, 2012 19:17:26
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Toby Canham/Kevork Djansezian/Getty

Lindsay Lohan went to court today and it’s been, oh, 4 months or so since she last f-cked up. The Judge was pleased that she’d completed the community service that was expected of her.Why are we being asked to stand up and applaud the fact that she FOLLOWED ORDERS??? Someone posted a question yesterday during the liveblog about Whitney Houston and Lohan, whether or not she could be next. Full Story

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Pam comes home to party

January 26, 2012 22:40:40 Posted at January 26, 2012 22:40:40
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
PUNKD Images

Scabby Pammy has been in Vancouver the last few days; it hasn’t exactly been a quiet trip home. Here she is with former football player Mitch Berger and his big ass Super Bowl ring. They spent most of the day at his apartment yesterday. At around 11am, he picked up a few bottles of wine and some strawberries. Full Story

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Best & Worst of 2011: Lohans at the Kardashian wedding

December 12, 2011 23:37:12 Posted at December 12, 2011 23:37:12
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
AKM Images

Worst because obviously.Best because, don’t lie, seeing these two pieces of sh-t taking third place at a loser’s wedding gave you a lot of joy. Here’s a refresher: Lindsay Lohan wearing what I called a knock off of a knock off of a Cavalli barely containing her middle age tits looking older than her mother. Full Story

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Lindsay Lohan is unfulfilled

October 19, 2011 18:33:21 Posted at October 19, 2011 18:33:21
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Flynet, Suntzulynn for LE/Splash

She was back in court today. TMZ had the play by play. Judge Sautner revoked her probation. Lindsay Lohan is due back in court on November 2 - my wedding anniversary! - to see if she has to go to jail. Among the issues reviewed to determine if she violated probation: attendance at counselling, completing a Shoplifter’s Alternative course, and of course, her community service. Full Story

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