The Anniversary of their Sex
Today is a very, very special today. It’s one of the most precious days of all f-cking time. Can you hear the doves? They are singing and fluttering and our hearts should be soaring with the memory and the love and the joy of the memory of the love and the passion of the soul and the miracle of the life.
WHO ELSE TALKS LIKE THIS?
It’s La Grande Cheese. It’s Celine Dion. And today is April 30th. And you know what April 30th is?
April 30th is the Anniversary of their Sex.
It’s the first time she and Rene Angelil had sex. And how do we know this?
BECAUSE SHE TOLD US.
Before we begin, I need you to steel yourself. Because you might overdose on the cheese and the sick. It’s very possible. But if you can get through the nausea, I promise you there’s a reward at the end of it. The most amazing f-cking sh-t you will ever read. It’ll be your favourite thing for days. I promise. I challenge you to get through this without covering your face.
You ready? Fontrum!
This is the story of the Anniversary of their Sex:
"It was in Dublin, on that unforgettable day of April 30, 1988, the evening of the Eurovision competition. He went back to my room with me ... I was seated at the head of the bed, legs folded under the covers. I was happy about being alone with the man I loved. And I had a very precise plan. I took his head in my hands and I kissed him on the lips. I put my arms around his neck ... He held me tight, the door still open behind him. Then he removed my arms. He fled to his room. I stayed there for a moment all alone, my heart beating — trembling and dumbfounded. I knew that I’d won. The flight was an admission of it. I grabbed the telephone and called his room to tell him: 'If you don’t come back here immediately, I’m going to knock on your door.' But there was no answer. It was he who called me several minutes later from the lobby of the hotel. To ask if I was all right. And then he told me: 'If you really want to, I’ll be the first.' And I answered him: 'You’ll be the first. And the only.'"