Dear Gossips,

There was an 80s marathon on tv the other night: The Breakfast Club, St Elmo’s Fire, and About Last Night. Obviously it’s all I could do: stare at Rob Lowe and revisit my 12 year old self crushing with the same intensity and longing. If 1985 Rob Lowe happened now, it would be OVER. And they just don’t do movie sex anymore like they used to. It just doesn’t get as horny as it used to. Yes. I am the perv who replayed his love scenes with Demi Moore at least 3 times. And it’s still saved on my DVR for weekend repeats.

Here’s Lowe on Extra yesterday. Look at him. HOW is this possible? It’s been 30 years!!!!

Ummm... Lindsay Lohan couldn’t have broken out of rehab to go party in Cannes, could she? A million dollars worth of Chopard jewels was stolen from a hotel room yesterday. Full Story