Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Dear Gossips,

On the latest Sasha Answers podcast, posted yesterday, we heard from “Lost Teenager” who is about to become a sophomore in high school. She liked a boy who liked her back, and this surprised her because he’s cool and popular and everyone likes him and she didn’t think she was his type. One night two and a half weeks ago, after spending a really fun summer together, he picked her up in his brother’s car with a pack of beer, which she tried for the first time, and then violated her in the backseat. Afterwards, he told her that they both wanted it, that he loved her, and that he wanted to be with her. Since then, she has stayed home. Her parents have noticed that her behaviour has changed. She wrote to Sasha because she wants to “stop feeling like this, and go back to normal”.

A few days ago, a person called David Becker has been making headlines. He’s a “former Massachusetts high school athlete (who) will avoid serving jail time and registering as a sex offender after he was charged with sexually assaulting two unconscious women at a house party." David Becker is 18 years old and was “charged with two counts of rape and one count of indecent assault and battery in connection with the April 2 incident after a party in Palmer”. (Source)

David Becker played three sports, a fact that comes up repeatedly. Like, somehow, the fact that he’s athletic suggests that, I don’t know, he doesn’t mean it as much when he rapes. After the court’s decision, his lawyer, Thomas Rooke, explained that his client “can now look forward to a productive life without being burdened with the stigma of having to register as a sex offender. The goal of this sentence was not to impede this individual from graduating high school and to go onto the next step of his life, which is a college experience”. Rooke continued, “We all made mistakes when we were 17, 18, 19 years old, and we shouldn’t be branded for life with a felony offense and branded a sex offender. Putting this kid in jail for two years would have destroyed this kid’s life.”

Nobody’s here to destroy David Becker’s life. It’s just that it feels like David Becker’s life is the one being prioritised. This is why Nate Parker’s victim struggled so much afterwards, eventually dying by suicide. As
Wagatwe Sara Wanjuki, the co-founder of Survivors Eradicating Rape Culture, told Salon in a new piece published today, “Nate Parker’s case is a really great example of what happens when colleges fail to hold assailants accountable. Assailants go out into the world with the implicit condonation of their actions because they get away with it while survivors continue to suffer”.

So while David Becker’s lawyer is worried about “branding” him for life for a mistake he made when he was “just” a teenager, his victims have to live with how HE branded THEM, even though they made no mistakes whatsoever. And this is why our Lost Teenager, the one who wrote to Sasha for advice, doesn’t feel “normal” anymore. The court – and our society – has allowed David Becker, and many others like him, to go on and have a “productive life”, in his case a “college experience”, while their victims’ lives are permanently altered. 

On the podcast, we tried to give Lost Teenager the encouragement and the resources she needs to hopefully move past the trauma. What she also needs is for us to keep talking about how HER experience is the priority, why HER future is important, and why HER life is valued. Lost Teenager doesn’t feel like she can talk to her parents. She hasn’t yet talked to her friends. She reached out to us because she feels alone. We would like her to know that she is not alone. That HER story is the one we care most about. So if you have any messages you would like to share with her, we would be honoured to pass them along.

Yours in gossip,


Smutty Social Media, August 23, 2016

August 23, 2016 20:58:45 Posted at August 23, 2016 20:58:45
Maria Posted by Maria

Dane Cook holds a grudge like a megalomaniac billionaire. And he’s not up on his news – how is he just hearing about Gawker now?! Good ol’ Dane piqued my interest, so if you are wondering what he is so upset about, maybe it’s the time Gawker categorized him as one of America’s worst comedians Full Story

More Thor & Loki

August 23, 2016 20:14:59 Posted at August 23, 2016 20:14:59
Sarah Posted by Sarah
Media-Mode/ Splash News

Filming continues in Brisbane for Thor: Ragnorak, which means yet more photos of Thor and Loki walking around in civvies (I love how, in street clothes, Loki always looks like the older sibling). Now that everyone in Australia knows where they’re filming, crowds are gathering to watch the goings-on, and it seems like the cast is being pretty cool with the crowds. Full Story

View All 24 Photos

Smutty Tingles

August 23, 2016 19:16:51 Posted at August 23, 2016 19:16:51
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Dickmatised and meangirled on this week’s Sasha Answers podcast.

Adam Sandler makes almost as much money as Jennifer Lawrence and I don’t understand (Dlisted

Halle Berry does Britney Spears (Just Jared

Natalie Portman gets judged in France too (Cele|bitchy

In Australia, a grower is a traveller. I’m talking about dicks. (TooFab

Is Miranda Lambert mocking Blake and Gwen? (Celeb Dirty Laundry

Arya Stark, you tease! (Pop Sugar

Jessica Alba in a floral gown (Popoholic

Meek Mill tried to block Drake, as IF (TMZ

Clothes look happier and more luxurious when they get to be worn by Matt Bomer (Go Fug Yourself

Beyoncé before the VMAs

August 23, 2016 17:36:57 Posted at August 23, 2016 17:36:57
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Felipe Ramales/ Splash News

The MTV VMAs are happening on Sunday. In New York and, for the time, at Madison Square Garden. Beyoncé's Lemonade leads all nominees. And with less than a week to go before what's expected to be a total domination, she's been posting behind-the-scenes Lemonade photos on Beyoncé.com Full Story

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Nobody You Care About in Ben-Hur

August 23, 2016 17:18:09 Posted at August 23, 2016 17:18:09
Sarah Posted by Sarah

In case you missed it, Paramount’s adaptation of Ben-Hur—already an iconic 1959 film starring Charlton Heston—sh*t the bed in a BIG way over the weekend, becoming one of the biggest flops of the summer. So, naturally, I went to see it. Full Story