Smutty Surgery Articles

Everything in Lohan perspective

March 6, 2012 21:19:40 Posted at March 6, 2012 21:19:40
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Asadorian-Mejia/Splash, Lisa Maree Williams/Getty

Earlier today, Michael K at Dlisted posted these photos of Debbie Harry and Lindsay Lohan. Harry was horrifyingly mistaken for Lohan. Debbie Harry, by the way, is 66. Lindsay Lohan is 25. And then there’s Tara Reid...There was a time when it couldn’t get worse than Tara Reid. Full Story

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Lindsay Lohan’s meaningless SNL

March 5, 2012 15:43:25 Posted at March 5, 2012 15:43:25
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

I was at a junket on Saturday waiting with other reporters when the subject of Lindsay Lohan came up. Almost everyone agreed that she would be solid that night on SNL. And then we disagreed on whether or not it would mean anything, lead to a career comeback. There were 6 of us. Curiously, both Canadians were of the opinion that even if Lohan was awesome, it still wouldn’t make a difference because her face is now too far gone to recover, to put her in contention for any significant roles beyond “prostitute junkie sister who helps main character escape”. Full Story

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Oscar Party Awkwards: Cruise + Beckham

February 27, 2012 20:50:59 Posted at February 27, 2012 20:50:59
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Pascal Le Segretain/Kevin Winter/ROBYN BECK/Getty

Tom Cruise did not walk the carpet with Katie Holmes. Instead, he went straight inside and presented the final award of the night, a responsibility usually reserved for a big deal name. Thank you Mission: Impossible Ghost Protocol. Tom Cruise keeps hanging in there. You do have to admire his tenacity, don’t you? He will never let you push him out. Full Story

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Worst Oscar Disappointment: Sandy Bullock

February 27, 2012 17:44:43 Posted at February 27, 2012 17:44:43
Duana Posted by Duana
Photos:
Kevin Winter/Frazer Harrison/Kevork Djansezian/Getty

Lainey thinks I'm contrary. I am not.  (Lainey: she totally is.) But sometimes if there's an overwhelming opinion that comes at me before I've had a chance to make up my own mind, I will work hard to find validation in the other direction.   Just so there's no chance I'm following the crowd. Full Story

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Opportunistic Waitress

January 17, 2012 17:03:05 Posted at January 17, 2012 17:03:05
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

Speaking of entitled losers...Hilarious item appeared on TMZ yesterday. Something about Lindsay Lohan getting closer to signing onto to the Elizabeth Taylor movie...on Lifetime. Click here for my thoughts on that if you missed it. Full Story

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A cape and red gloves

January 11, 2012 21:50:31 Posted at January 11, 2012 21:50:31
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Fergus McDonald/Stuart Wilson/Gareth Cattermole/Getty

Madonna premiered W.E. in London tonight wearing a cape and red leather gloves to match her lips. Go ahead. Start bitching. I know you need to get it out.But her hair looks really good, doesn’t it? Why the gloves? Because earlier in the day at the photo call she was also covering her hands. It’s the hands that show the aging the most, isn’t it? You’d think by now they would have developed a procedure to do with the hands what they do with the forehead and the frown lines, non? Or would that compromise mobility? Jesus, can you imagine? Losing full use of your hands because you wanted them to look younger? By the way, I love the peephole in the blue dress she wore in the afternoon. Full Story

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The GMD’s beauty routine

December 23, 2011 16:20:05 Posted at December 23, 2011 16:20:05
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

I don’t like the word “regimen”. I think because it’s often confused with “regiment” and I hate when people sound dumb. Like when they add a “d” in “whirlwind” and make it “worldwind”.  Britney used to do this all the time. And Justin Timberlake too, until he started using big words like he’s some kind of celebrity thinker. Full Story

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So that’s why your face was so puffy!

December 15, 2011 22:02:28 Posted at December 15, 2011 22:02:28
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Clasos.com/Splash, LUIS ACOSTA/Getty

Remember earlier this year, while she was promoting Just Go With It and her new fragrance, I kept going on about a slight puffiness that had taken over Jennifer Aniston’s face? For a while there I was obsessed. Here’s an article from March 11 for a refresher. Full Story

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Giant Lips for Christmas

December 6, 2011 21:33:46 Posted at December 6, 2011 21:33:46
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
FameFlynet

It’s been something like 3 weeks since Lindsay Lohan called up the paps. They must have her on some kind of lockdown because you know she doesn’t have that kind of willpower.So here she is leaving the salon last night, getting her attention fix. I actually like what she’s wearing. I mean the hat is ridiculous, but the pants are good, the shirt is good, I almost thought it was all good up and down, and then I saw the lips. Full Story

It’s so puffy!

October 24, 2011 19:21:39 Posted at October 24, 2011 19:21:39
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Whittle/ Splash News

Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green showed up at the Hollywood premiere of Puss in Boots LA yesterday which I will watch in theatres because...have you seen the trailer? It looks awesome. And early reviews are very, very good. The kids will love it. The grown-ups too. So it was a family outing for Megan and BAG with his son. Full Story

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Dentist.

October 13, 2011 14:25:33 Posted at October 13, 2011 14:25:33
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

She needs one. Badly. This is Lindsay Lohan last night in LA at the Saints Row: The Third party. You know, I have to get over my prejudice against video gaming events as, like, celebrity stops. Video games are throwing the most money around these days. The famous people, they go where the cash is. And they always have. Full Story

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Best FNL Fan: Jon Hamm

September 19, 2011 10:37:59 Posted at September 19, 2011 10:37:59
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Jon Hamm looked bummed out when Mad Men won for Best Drama. Jon Hamm also has a man-crush on Coach Taylor. This is why we love Jon Hamm. Who looked, as usual, very handsome last night. And very chivalrously helped several ladies up on stage. And he loves his lady so much, Jennifer Westfeldt, which is why I wish, I wish so much, she would stop with the nonsense all up in her face. Full Story

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Madonna night at TIFF

September 13, 2011 08:45:59 Posted at September 13, 2011 08:45:59
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She looked f-cking amazing. It’s a Tom Ford dress. She’s compact, little, tight, healthy. The makeup, the hair, even the face... in person it was really, really good. So good that she’s Sasha’s look of the day today on etalk. Sasha also pointed out though that she only posed with her hands at her sides. Full Story

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Let me pull my shirt up

September 9, 2011 07:43:41 Posted at September 9, 2011 07:43:41
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Was meaning to post this yesterday and then got buried in TIFF. So Tara Reid is in London because of something to do with Big Brother. This is all you need to know. This is all I need to know. So if you’re about to hit me up with a know-it-all-email re: her activities, please save your wisdom for another time. Full Story