New Year, still slumming

January 3, 2012 18:05:03 Posted at January 3, 2012 18:05:03
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Splash

JLo was in Miami for NYE. With the backup dancer. Her boyfriend and probable husband/ex-husband. I mean, you can’t call this a fling anymore now, right? When he’s around all the time, when you are never apart, when he spends time with the children, when it’s Jennifer Lopez we’re talking about, who remarries instead of rebounds, it’s never not serious. It’s always, always too fast, too intense, and such a f-cking downgrade.

Look at this.

Now they’re holding hands in the wide open public, like it’s something to be proud of. Like holding hands with Casper Smart is a “you go girl with a fingersnap” moment.

FOR WHO???????????????????????????

First of all, please, leave the You Go Girling and fingersnapping to the people with gel nailed French manicures who watch Sex & The City reruns on TBS. And second...

Since when does “young” make up for “not attractive”? Um, he’s gross. Yeah, but he’s 24 years old. Yes, but HE’s STILL GROSS. If this is you, if you’re saying that without inside voice, if you’ve written it to me in an email (and you are out there), you need to stop; you need to stop selling 40+ so short. 

PS. These photos were edited by Jacek who asked me if I wanted a zoom on her ass and I said no, I just need the zoom on them holding hands but he went ahead and ass zoomed anyway because, obviously.

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