Inoculate New Orleans

January 28, 2010 12:04:01 Posted at January 28, 2010 12:04:01
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Who dat?

The sentimental Super Bowl favourite team this year is the New Orleans Saints. GO SAINTS.

But Saints fans, you need to be vigilant. Because Ebola Paris Hilton, that piece of sh-t, it will come around. It will come after you. And despite the fact that it and Kim Kardashian cannot stand each other, it’s more likely it’ll cheer for the Saints than for the Colts. And this is trouble.

You’ll recall last year Ebola was photographed wearing Arizona before the big show. As I posted back then, as you already know, the Cardinals ended up losing. How can you deny it? Ebola is deadly. And if Ebola decides on the Saints…

It will be there, it will go to Miami because it goes everywhere it can to be seen. It went to Sundance last week for no apparent reason with its boyfriend. Have to love Robert Redford for cutting it down during his opening presser at the festival. When addressing Sundance’s reputation for overcommercialism in recent years and the festival’s attempt to bring its original spirit back by, hopefully, discouraging the likes of Ebola, Redford said:

"Paris Hilton doesn't have anything to do with anything."


Indeed it doesn’t. But Ebola will try.

In the words of a dear reader called Eloise who wrote a passage I only wish could have come from me:

“I believe in hoodoo. And, so does NOLA. Could hoodoo ward off the Ebola's effect? If it pops up in black and dull gold, beware Saints fans. You need to pull out your best "John the Conqueroo." I myself have a black spider bone, and can get a crawdaddy to put on my shoulder to ward off its ineffable evil.”


Dear New Orleans: you have 10 days. Start inoculating now. And if you see that rotting disease, you either run, or you try to eradicate it. Good luck. GO SAINTS.


Photos from Fred Montana/Splashnewsonline.com

Previous Article Next Article