A new issue of GOOP. And it’s not wellness or mother-ness and food-ness. Instead, this newsletter is dedicated to GOOP Punk...at the MET Gala! For all her sh-tting on the event and moaning about what a terrible time she had, she still couldn’t resist sharing with us what the styling experience was like. Full Story

Jennifer Lopez was in New York yesterday at the NUVOtv Upfronts. Amazingly, the slum lover wasn’t with her. The boss was probably in LA, managing preparations in advance of her appearance tonight on the American Idol season finale. JLO will return to the show to perform her latest single Live It Up. Full Story

It’s expensive. It’s awkward. It’s web-based. We must be talking GOOP here, right? Right. Over on Groupon this week, for the low low LOW (ie. high high HIGH) price of $2000 you can join the official “all-inclusive” GOOP NY Getaway. Full Story

Jennifer Lopez is in New York promoting her new album. Here she is on the publicity circuit yesterday looking great in leather pants and wedge sneakers, a trend that’s lasting a lot longer than I expected it to, and a sheer, peter pan collar black dress with off-white pumps. Great. It’s always great when Slum Bear isn’t around. Full Story

Piers Morgan interviewed Lindsay Lohan...for print, the Daily Mail. Obviously they don’t want to put that sh-t on camera. This happened a few weeks ago in New York. Lohan chain-smoked through the entire discussion. You can read the full exchange here Full Story

Or maybe it’s As IF everyone else. Here’s Reese Witherspoon leaving Atlanta on Saturday with husband Jim Toth and an Atlanta PD baseball cap. Because she’s totally best friends with them now, after DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM-ing them two weeks ago. And that’s not even the most embarrassingly obvious part of this photo opportunity. Full Story

TMZ has released more dash-cam audio/video of Reese Witherspoon’s arrest in Atlanta. This one might be my favourite. At this point, Reese and Jim Toth are in the back seat of the cop car. She’s still trying to pull rank on the officer about who she is and how he’s turned the situation into a “national news” event. Full Story

The dash-cam arrest video. You’ve seen it, right? Footage from Reese Witherspoon’s arrest in Atlanta two weeks ago was released online yesterday, after she and her husband Jim Toth settled their legal situation though. She got away with a fine of $213 and he’ll do some community service and it’s like it all never happened, you know?, the fact that he drove drunk and could have murdered someone. Full Story

It was a solid performance by Reese Witherspoon on Good Morning America today. Her voice was exactly the right level -- low, quiet, measured. She played humble and contrite. She said the right things -- being accountable, her actions were not acceptable, and doing whatever it takes to make it right. Full Story

Why can’t this be the subject of a GOOP newsletter instead of recipes and meditation? Fellatio is Wellness, non? Last week Gwyneth Paltrow told us that her bush is styled for the 70s. Then we learned that when she and her girls, like Cameron Diaz, get together for sleepover parties, maybe they run around naked trimming their pubes Full Story

To go along with her mug shot, there’s now video of Reese Witherspoon, Southern Belle America’s Sweetheart, in handcuffs following her arrest in Atlanta the other night for, well, essentially being a b-tch to a cop who was stopping her husband from driving around intoxicated and endangering the public. Full Story

I thought about writing this article yesterday. Eventually I decided against it because if they got into a fight, it would have been a waste of my time and then I’d have to write another article to update the situation. It is now 10:30pm ET. So far, they haven’t changed their minds yet. Full Story

For years I have been telling you she's not the sweetness she's been selling you. And still people are surprised. At a recent Faculty of Celebrity Studies event, I told a story about Reese being a dick and some people were surprised, like they couldn't believe it. Because she goes to church and has a nice smile. Full Story

If the idea of a Ryan Lochte reality show confused you when you first heard about it, he's doing press to make it clear this show will be entirely about how stupid he is. Lochte is currently making the rounds, attempting to do interviews, and is evidently such a moron of a guest that it's bringing tv hosts to tears. Full Story