Remember True Blood last season when Sookie dreamt about being in bed with Eric and they were sex talking and she was all like, I know you’re not an asshole through and through and he answered something to the effect that his soft side was “only for Sookie”? Well isn’t this is the Only For Sookie look? Hot. Full Story

I’ve heard some f-cked up civilian dinner stories. Like real people acting like assholes over steak. And what bites my ass so hard is that I’m not allowed to share most of them. You wouldn’t believe the way some people behave. So in that respect, in comparison, I guess the way the GMD and Katie Holmes entertain at dinner well it’s not quite as eyerolling as the real people I’ve encountered, but at the same time, as always, they do bring the fontrum. Full Story

He’s a big boy on his big bike and he knows better than you. So if you dare question the GMD’s manly man knowledge, you’re going to get The Hand. Please. Why try? He knows EVERYTHING. He has studied the History of Bikes. You don’t know the History of Bikes. Here he is shooting a bike scene with Cameron Diaz yesterday in Spain. Full Story

It’s all about the beginning. We all remember our first. What if your first was Shauna Sand? Would that send you off the pussy forever? Shauna has revealed to Star Magazine that she plucked Chace Crawford when he was 18 and that they used to f-ck in her apartment. Full Story

Please. This is the party I would have really wanted to be at. Us Weekly is reporting that on October 16th, the GMD and Katie Holmes were in London attending a Scientology event with thousands of other Xenu lovers to celebrate the 25th anniversary of the International Association of Scientologists. Full Story

Last week photographers caught the GMD and Katie Holmes in what was presumed to be a scrap. He kept her waiting, they exchanged words, and he had a hissy fit and stormed ahead of her. Click here Full Story

Sometimes Photo Assumption isn’t fun. Those are the times when Photo Assumption hits too close to home. Like there’s only one assumption – or conclusion – to be drawn from the photos and that assumption/conclusion is really, really, really sad. It’s Sarah Jessica Parker and her dandy last night at the Tribeca premiere of Wonderful World. Full Story

Not free just yet but some say she’s starting to reassert her… personality. Don’t get too optimistic. Xenu’s hold is strong and unforgiving. Ask John Travolta. We were talking about the GMD the other night, a drunken night outside a pub. What else is there to discuss? At this point I don’t think it’s so much a question of gay but of deliberate androgyny. Full Story

The GMD – he was Mr Popular last night, wasn’t he? Could not WAIT til commercial break, at which point he apparently launched himself up out of his chair in a mad dash to talk to Leo, to Kate, to Steven, to Clint, to anyone who would meet his mother. Bitch is f-cked up and weird but you have to admire the effort. Full Story

And he’s not serenading Johnny Gill! St Barts seems to be the warm weather destination of choice for celebrities this holiday - exclusive and expensive and no sign of recession. As you know, Eddie Murphy has made an obscene amount of money wearing fatsuits making the same movie over and over and over again. Full Story

The GMD told The Sun that he wants 10 kids. This is your answer as to why Katie Holmes looks so tired all the time. You’d be tired too if Xenu set up a fertility lab between your legs with a new petrie dish every day. Full Story

Those vagina virgins the Jonas Brothers played a show the other night and some child in the audience decided to throw her bra onstage at Joe, the waxy pretty gay one. His reaction was similar to what my main ‘mo Darren does every time I try to talk to him about my lady parts. Horror and disgust. Full Story

He did last night. He touched 45 heads. On Jimmy Kimmel live. Oh Jimmy. I love you. Did you watch? His teeth! They’re so white! So Jimmy has this competition where he faces off against his guest – who can touch the most heads in 30 seconds? Needless to say, Tom Cruise was very, very good at head touching. Full Story

It’s Travolty in France, still shooting with the androgen of his massage fantasies Jonathan Rhys Meyers. The film is called From Paris With Love – something about a spy although originally he probably thought it was a romance. Still, spending every day on set with someone as pretty as JRM is making JT very, very happy. Full Story