Did they talk over each other?
I would love to sit at a table with Cher and Julia Roberts, two yappy bitches who know EVERYTHING and can’t wait to tell you what to do. The question is: would Cher and Julia Roberts be seated together? I wasn’t at the Glamour Women of the Year Awards last night in New York but I hope, for Girl Sh-t’s sake, that it didn’t happen. Because as entertaining as it would be to eavesdrop on their conversation, I’m not sure the two could co-exist.
Here’s Julia up on stage receiving her honour – presented to her by Oprah Winfrey. Of course. And of course Julia’s finger is pointing and pontificating and being all bossy and charming and forcing you to pay attention to her.
Cher had the same body language when it was her turn. She was the Lifetime Achievement winner and stepped up and offered this advice:
"What I want you girls and what I want for everyone, especially women, is that they don't take no for an answer because no is just some bullsh-t word that someone made up."
Um, No is not a bullsh-t word. It’s a very useful word. It’s one of my mother the Chinese Squawking Chicken’s favourite words.
“No you can’t go off with that group of Hong Kong boys in the neighbourhood because they want to taste your banana and brag about it.” A banana is what some people refer to Chinese kids born in North America: yellow on the outside, white on the inside.
“No you shouldn’t wear that because it makes your ass look like Mrs Hu who sits around all day eating peanuts while her husband cheats on her with those Mainland China cheapcheaps.” Cheapcheaps is her favourite noun in reference to Chinese low classy types who wear nude pantyhose with flipflops.
“No you can’t bring your gold necklace over to X’s house for a sleepover because her mother has shifty eyes and will steal it.” Duana and I are convinced that this is actually a very common immigrant experience. Her dad used to ban sleepovers because “what if father is rapist?”
See? No can come in handy. And, frankly, No should be used much more often as a deterrent. The notion that No is limiting is dangerous because in this famewhoring day and age, No encourages too many people who shouldn’t be encouraged. Platitudes like Cher’s are part of the problem. They mean nothing. Look at the people who never hear No and go audition for American Idol. It’s tragic.
Photos from Wenn.com and Larry Busacca/Gettyimages.com