She wasn’t the worst...and her breasts

November 21, 2011 20:16:49 Posted at November 21, 2011 20:16:49
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, Oliver S Wolf/Splash

Katherine Heigl presented at the American Music Awards last night. And while Heigl can normally be counted on to look the worst on these occasions, surprisingly, she wasn’t. Like, at all.

In fact, this may have been one of her better showings.

Or am I just getting blinded by her tits?

This is the kind of hold-up-your-breast situation that results in the old “did she get them done” discussion. Because when they’re, um, supported like this, they round rather unnaturally. Me I don’t think this is an enhancement situation. Not to be all pervy but have you ever pushed your breasts down with your elbows or your fingers? (I wish I could give you a demonstration but, um, obviously.) It is possible to achieve that effect. And somehow, with some tape, or medieval contraption, I think she was able to do the same.

If you’d asked me two months ago I’d be more suspicious. But then I went to Lululemon for a new sports bra because mine was going on 3 years and super gungy - judge me! I don’t care! - and I don’t like the ones with the criss cross back because they put too much strain on my shoulders so the only option was the regular two strap variety with snaps at the back that really aren’t attractive but totally do the job and why do I need my sports bra to be cute anyway, who am I showing it to?

This particular model however comes with padding which, again, I find totally unnecessary. But if you keep the padding in, Jesus, it cups your sh-t like in the most perky, crazy, artificial form possible so that it actually looks like you’ve had your tits done, particularly from the side. Breasts do not sit like that on a side view! When I put it on at home to test it for my resident breast expert Jacek, he was freaked out. That bra, with the padding, turned my chest into the most unnatural, Playboy style craziness I’ve ever seen. Soon as you take the pads out though, it’s totally normal.

My point is that people are doing some f-cked up sh-t with breasts and how they’re presented these days. And oftentimes it has nothing to do with surgery.

Anyway, going back to Heigl and how she amazingly didn’t embarrass herself on the carpet last night, it also appears that she’s improved her hair. Check her out with her husband and her dog the other day working what looks to be a grown out bob. MUCH better, right? Like, she actually looks cute. She hasn’t looked cute in a long, long time. And guess what? The mother isn’t around.

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