The Rock Dwayne Johnson has joined the Fast & Furious franchise. Here he is with Vin Diesel who I call Shrek because, obviously, and Paul Walker today in Moscow promoting the upcoming Fast Five which will make a stupid amount of money and that’ll be an excuse to make another one and…what else does Paul Walker do? The trailer is… ridiculous. Full Story

Well if that’s not a reason to quit Facebook... I don’t use Facebook. For various reasons, but mostly because it’s a time sucker. Today I am grateful for this, because I’ve now learned that Facebook users are the kind who voted Vin Diesel the Sexiest Man Alive. Really? Him? Shrek? He is Shrek. Full Story

There will be a fifth Fast & Furious movie. Yes, I agree. Oh lawd. But the People rushed the fourth one with the return of Shrek and Paul Walker. The People supported the franchise. And so the People are getting another. It will be called Fast Five. And Shrek and Walker this time will be joined by Dwayne The Rock Johnson who, apparently, is taking a break from family features. Full Story

Already? Didn’t seem like that took very long. Fast & Furious is now on DVD if you like that sort of thing – dumbasses not obeying the speed limit led by a grunting Shrek with big muscles also known as Vin Diesel. Ugh. He’s disgusting. Shrek showed up on the carpet last night because the event was also an opportunity to screen his short film Los Bandoleros. Full Story

Q: why do they keep making these movies?A: Paul Walker has no career otherwise. Same goes for Vin Diesel. Unless he wants to star in the live action version of Shrek. Because these are his only two options: 1. Driving fast and grunting or 2. Painting himself green and hanging out with Donkey. Q: why do they keep watching these movies???A: good taste is dead. Full Story

Shrek the Musical opens in Seattle today, heading to Broadway in December. Here’s Shrek as he will appear on stage played by Brian d'Arcy James. Terrible casting. Was Vin Diesel unavailable? As I’ve been saying for years, Vin Diesel IS Shrek. And everyone else is a poseur, including Mike Myers. Full Story

Vin Diesel has a girlfriend?!? Vin Diesel had a baby?!? Even more shocking… there are people who actually STILL care? Amazingly enough, yes…though these days it’s fewer and fewer. This is why he has to make yet another Fast and Furious movie. But if Ebola Paris Hilton can have fans, I suppose Vin Diesel can have fans too. Full Story

Long time readers of my column know my views on Jake"s maybe gaybe status. And while I don"t think he"s Toothy Tile, it doesn"t mean I"m 100% convinced he"s straight. We have debated this to death, and you can refresh your memories here Full Story

When I first met my husband, the two women on his Freebie 5 were Cameron Diaz and Heather Graham. Obviously, I married a blind man who grew up in a trailer park. And while his mother would totally kill me if she knew I said that – because Poles are far, far from trashy (she pulls out the best silver EVERY time we go over for dinner. Full Story

There are many types of gays. Naturally my friends and I love to label them all. Off the top of my head: there are fashionista gays, straightlaced gays, arty gays, motorbike butchy gays, Ian McKellan gays, and of course the beefcake gays - Oiled up, veins popping, muscles bulging, stupid as f&ck, and very, very sexually aggressive. Full Story

Oh.My.Sh*t. Vin Diesel kissing a woman??? Apparently yes. As you can see from my good friends in Sweden. Does Shrek really prefer chicks? Or is that just a man in drag? Check out the wig, the hands, and the nose, y"all. Very debatable, non?  Full Story

I admit Vin isn"t going to ever win an Oscar but if you"ve ever watched fast and the furious, there is one scene that will send you into a fantasy world like no other. The scene where Vin Diesel and his girlfriend are in the garage working on Paul Walkers pimped out car, Vin and his girlfriend start to make out (standing up), he grabs her ass and lifts her up to carry to the couch. Full Story

OK, let’s have it out once and for all. My guess is he's gay. You want evidence? I’ll give you evidence. How about the makeup? Check. How about the perfectly groomed soul patch – for just a hint of laughable manly man machismo? Check. And the meticulously plucked eyebrows?? Check, check, check. Full Story