Let’s just get this over with

June 25, 2012 13:22:41 Posted at June 25, 2012 13:22:41
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I want to believe this was what Beyonce was thinking the other night in Birmingham, England watching the throne. That out of obligation she allowed Kanye West’s girlfriend to be in her presence. That she agreed to eat it for a photo op so as to kill the speculation and that immediately afterwards she went back to freezing her out. If anything Beyonce comes out of it looking charitable. And the other one grossly inferior; it begged and Beyonce relented. Maybe that’s a lesson she learned from Gwyneth Paltrow? Always remind them they are beneath you. This is my preferred analysis. You are welcome to an alternate version if, that is, you are interested in living in a world in which Beyonce could actually be friends with it. After all, it’s not like it jumped into the crowd when Beysus did.

And you know why?

Because one of her fake eyelashes would probably fall out.

Kanye’s girlfriend is not capable of spontaneity. But look at B throw herself into the mass. (That blonde woman sort of kind of looks like Gwyneth Paltrow but is probably not.)

Cute right? She is adorable. Almost as adorable as when she was givin’er to Coldplay a few weeks ago in Manchester. Have you seen this? This is why Beyonce is Beyonce. It’s the balance between fraud and real. In her moments of real, she is irresistible.

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