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Bios

Lainey

Mortal Enemies

Children on planes, constipation, parent pimps, sateen, rednecks, bangs, dirty bathrooms, bland food, burpees, gel nails

Things that make me want to cut a bitch

Dancing with the Shits, "Oh I Know" girls, Miley Cyrus's voice, poor internet service, bad water pressure, Emmy Rossum

Imaginary Best Friends

JK Rowling, Gwyneth Paltrow circa 1997, Bill Nighy, Steve Yzerman, Jon Stewart

Unlikely interests/hobbies

Curling (have always wanted to, never tried it, think about trying it all the time)

Polo (tried it once, am fully intending to take lessons and one day play alongside Hot Harry with a Horse because, did you know?, polo is played with boys and girls and no segregaton)

Gambling, golf, karaoke (but being Asian, none of these are unlikely)

 

Jacek

Mortal Enemies

Stephane Auger, people who don't control their kids in public, stationary bikes, slow golfers (even though people tell me I am one), chocolates with nasty fillings

Things that make me want to whack a bastard

When people turn right from a middle lane and slow down/stop for pedestrians when there's plenty of room to "tuck in" to the right lane. I'll rear-end the bastard on purpose!!! OK I have yet to do that but one day I just might

Imaginary Best Friends

Will Ferrell and Vince Vaughn, Cesar Milan, Trevor Linden

Unlikely interests/hobbies

Posting comments on TSN's message boards

Gambling...Poles are notoriously cheap so the thought of losing money should terrify me

 

Sarah

Mortal Enemies

Zombies, robots, volcanoes, sharks, Velociraptors, mosquitoes

Things that make me want to cut a bitch

Crying children in movie theaters, remakes of perfectly good movies, people who can't use computers, tourists

Imaginary Best Friends

Meryl Streep, Stanley Tucci, Karl Lagerfeld, Richard Pryor, Tina Fey, Trey Parker & Matt Stone

Unlikely interests/hobbies

Baseball, football, art, animals that could eat me for dinner, ghost stories, videos of cute kittens

For more movies and snark, and deep discussions about why Road House is the greatest movie of all time, join me at Cinesnark www.cinesnark.wordpress.com/

 

Duana

Mortal Enemies

Many desserts, car mirrors/sides/bumpers (anything that can be scratched or hit, basically), miso soup, that second lead on iCarly, my hair, most pants (on me)

Things that make me want to cut a bitch

Insomnia, broken alarm clocks, people who don't know how to end a conversation, those who confuse the terms weary/wary/leery, those who are afraid of babies (you can hate them if you want but they're not going to demonize you just by sitting near them on the streetcar), FNL not continuing for infinity

Imaginary Best Friends

Jane Espenson, Kristen Bell (yes!), Josh Lyman (we just met. And no, this doesn't mean Bradley Whitford) Lauren Graham, Joel McHale, Tina Fey AND Liz Lemon

Unlikely interests/hobbies

Books about SATs/U.S. college admissions/private schools (Not American, didn't attend them, it's essentially science fiction to me)

Bicycles that are only practical for the flat roads of an English countryside

Bringing amusing things my dad says into everyday conversation. "I would like to be a vegetarian - but the problem is I don't like vegetables though." 

Catch me Twitter here  https://twitter.com/Duanaelise

 

Sasha

Mortal Enemies

People who tell you the same story over and over again, dogs that sniff your privates, Babies and or toddlers that wear sunglasses.

Things that make me want to cut a bitch

Girls who call strangers 'babe' / 'honey' or 'sweetheart', Tara Reid because she's a bitch and was a bitch to me, and people who generalize that ALL Chinese people are bad drivers

Imaginary Best Friends

Mariah Carey, Aaliyah (RIP), Amy Poehler, Kanye West

Unlikely interests/hobbies

Watching DIY and Design shows (come to my house and you'll get why this is unlikely)

Psychics

Finding the best albacore tuna in any city I go to

 

Maria

Mortal Enemies

Capri pants, bread bowls, French pedicures, moms who try to make eye contact on the playground, autocorrect

Things that make me want to cut a bitch

That family whose name starts with K, celebrities who name their fan bases, exhaustion

Imaginary Best Friends

Charlize Theron, Beyonce, Amy Poehler, Ann Wintour

Unlikely interests/hobbies

Hiking, scrapbooking, baking. Just kidding. Is watching TV a hobby?

 

Hayley

Mortal Enemies

Athletes who wear compression socks in public and who feel the need to wearall of their race merchandise at once, slow walkers and people who don't move out of your way when it's very obvious you're in a rush, dog owners who take their dogs for walks in a stroller

Things that make me want to cut a bitch

Entitlement, excuses, lazy people, assuming everything should be easy, complaining, 'poor me' syndrome, online dating...

Imaginary Best Friends

Terry Fox (if he was still alive), Clara Hughes, Taylor Swift, Lance Armstrong

Unlikely interests/hobbies

Kite boarding - never tried it but that sport looks crazy and I will get out on a board one of these days.

Mountain biking - I'm not a risk taker and I get butterflies every time I'm forced to throw myself down a mountain with my shoes attached to the pedals but it's all worth it once you get to the bottom

Marine Biology - I always wanted to be a marine biologist. Why I ended up a trainer? Who knows but maybe in my next life I'll be jumping out of tanks with whales and dolphins