Smutty Surgery Articles

A cape and red gloves

January 11, 2012 21:50:31 Posted at January 11, 2012 21:50:31
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Fergus McDonald/Stuart Wilson/Gareth Cattermole/Getty

Madonna premiered W.E. in London tonight wearing a cape and red leather gloves to match her lips. Go ahead. Start bitching. I know you need to get it out.But her hair looks really good, doesn’t it? Why the gloves? Because earlier in the day at the photo call she was also covering her hands. It’s the hands that show the aging the most, isn’t it? You’d think by now they would have developed a procedure to do with the hands what they do with the forehead and the frown lines, non? Or would that compromise mobility? Jesus, can you imagine? Losing full use of your hands because you wanted them to look younger? By the way, I love the peephole in the blue dress she wore in the afternoon. Full Story

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The GMD’s beauty routine

December 23, 2011 16:20:05 Posted at December 23, 2011 16:20:05
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

I don’t like the word “regimen”. I think because it’s often confused with “regiment” and I hate when people sound dumb. Like when they add a “d” in “whirlwind” and make it “worldwind”.  Britney used to do this all the time. And Justin Timberlake too, until he started using big words like he’s some kind of celebrity thinker. Full Story

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So that’s why your face was so puffy!

December 15, 2011 22:02:28 Posted at December 15, 2011 22:02:28
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Clasos.com/Splash, LUIS ACOSTA/Getty

Remember earlier this year, while she was promoting Just Go With It and her new fragrance, I kept going on about a slight puffiness that had taken over Jennifer Aniston’s face? For a while there I was obsessed. Here’s an article from March 11 for a refresher. Full Story

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Giant Lips for Christmas

December 6, 2011 21:33:46 Posted at December 6, 2011 21:33:46
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
FameFlynet

It’s been something like 3 weeks since Lindsay Lohan called up the paps. They must have her on some kind of lockdown because you know she doesn’t have that kind of willpower.So here she is leaving the salon last night, getting her attention fix. I actually like what she’s wearing. I mean the hat is ridiculous, but the pants are good, the shirt is good, I almost thought it was all good up and down, and then I saw the lips. Full Story

It’s so puffy!

October 24, 2011 19:21:39 Posted at October 24, 2011 19:21:39
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Whittle/ Splash News

Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green showed up at the Hollywood premiere of Puss in Boots LA yesterday which I will watch in theatres because...have you seen the trailer? It looks awesome. And early reviews are very, very good. The kids will love it. The grown-ups too. So it was a family outing for Megan and BAG with his son. Full Story

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Dentist.

October 13, 2011 14:25:33 Posted at October 13, 2011 14:25:33
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

She needs one. Badly. This is Lindsay Lohan last night in LA at the Saints Row: The Third party. You know, I have to get over my prejudice against video gaming events as, like, celebrity stops. Video games are throwing the most money around these days. The famous people, they go where the cash is. And they always have. Full Story

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Best FNL Fan: Jon Hamm

September 19, 2011 10:37:59 Posted at September 19, 2011 10:37:59
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Jon Hamm looked bummed out when Mad Men won for Best Drama. Jon Hamm also has a man-crush on Coach Taylor. This is why we love Jon Hamm. Who looked, as usual, very handsome last night. And very chivalrously helped several ladies up on stage. And he loves his lady so much, Jennifer Westfeldt, which is why I wish, I wish so much, she would stop with the nonsense all up in her face. Full Story

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Madonna night at TIFF

September 13, 2011 08:45:59 Posted at September 13, 2011 08:45:59
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She looked f-cking amazing. It’s a Tom Ford dress. She’s compact, little, tight, healthy. The makeup, the hair, even the face... in person it was really, really good. So good that she’s Sasha’s look of the day today on etalk. Sasha also pointed out though that she only posed with her hands at her sides. Full Story

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Let me pull my shirt up

September 9, 2011 07:43:41 Posted at September 9, 2011 07:43:41
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Was meaning to post this yesterday and then got buried in TIFF. So Tara Reid is in London because of something to do with Big Brother. This is all you need to know. This is all I need to know. So if you’re about to hit me up with a know-it-all-email re: her activities, please save your wisdom for another time. Full Story

Another Lohan, just a matter of time

September 8, 2011 08:26:19 Posted at September 8, 2011 08:26:19
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Everyone is talking about these new photos of Lindsay Lohan’s sister Ali taken on Tuesday in Beverly Hills. Does she look really, really different? Ali is only 17. And, you know, teen faces change all the time. This is why I don’t always think it’s fair when those plastic surgery websites pull up photos from when a celebrity was 18 or whatever comparing to how they look now at 35 and accuse them of getting a new chin, or something. Full Story

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Defending Kate’s face

September 1, 2011 13:02:58 Posted at September 1, 2011 13:02:58
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Kate Winslet is in Venice today for Carnage with co-stars John C Reilly and Christoph Waltz. Jodie Foster is shooting a movie and obviously couldn’t make it. This is Kate at the photo call in the afternoon and then at the gala in the evening. And there has been a lot of discussion about her face. Full Story

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Madonna introduces W.E.

September 1, 2011 07:38:17 Posted at September 1, 2011 07:38:17
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Madonna arrived in Venice today at the photo call for W.E. along with Andrea Riseborough and Abbie Cornish. I am already obsessed with Andrea Riseborough. Look at that face! Fresh and beguiling, non? And can you believe it’s the same girl you saw in these Vanity Fair photos Full Story

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Weird stripe, faces that don’t move, hot Brit host

August 24, 2011 13:25:00 Posted at August 24, 2011 13:25:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

This is, so far, what the US version of The X Factor is for me. The judges and the host are featured on the cover of The Hollywood Reporter. First thing I fixated on was that weird blonde stripe that seems to be running up Simon Cowell’s head. Is it bad lighting? Why didn’t they fix it? This is making me crazy. Full Story

Madonna 53

August 16, 2011 08:33:43 Posted at August 16, 2011 08:33:43
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Madonna and Elvis inextricably linked. At least to me on this day. It’s her birthday. She’s 53. Madonna is 53. This is our world...? Indeed. And in our world, Madonna at 53 is dating Brahim Zaibat at 24. He’s a dancer. He’s French. They spent the weekend in the Hamptons kissing on the beach. Full Story

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