Royal Smut Articles
Royal Clasping
While Prince Harry was hanging out at the marathon yesterday, his sister-in-law, Katy Cambridge, spent the day with the Queen’s Scouts at Windsor Castle. She was a vision in fertile green, once again, using a short hemline to accentuate her trim legs so as to balance the bulk that’s growing above the waist. Full Story
Why Harry can’t marry
Prince Harry was at the London Marathon yesterday supporting the athletes. He took his time speaking to participants, encouraging their efforts, expressing his admiration for what they’ve accomplished. And when they asked him whether or not he or his family members would run the marathon one day, as usual he joked about his brother William, saying that he’s now too old to race. Full Story
Hot Harry in a puffy coat with this legs spread
Chris Jackson/ Getty
Look at this scamp. It’s a press conference for charity and he could be sitting on a couch, belching, for all you’d know from his body language. This, of course, is why we love Harry. He’s the messy one. It was announced today that Harry will join a group of wounded veterans from the UK, the US, and the Commonwealth on an expedition to the South Pole as part of the Walking With The Wounded South Pole Allied Challenge. Full Story
The Royal Bond Girl is honoured
WPA Pool/ Getty
There are more photos of this event to come in the next article but the Queen deserves her moment alone, don’t you think? Especially when she’s receiving an award for a change instead of handing one out. And an acting award at that! The Queen was presented an honourary BAFTA award yesterday for her support of British film and television but, really, let’s be honest, it was for her performance as a Bond Girl at the Olympics. Full Story
Princess Catherine’s shorter hair, shorter hem
FameFlynet, James Whatling/ Splash, Chris Jackson/ Getty
William and his Catherine are in Scotland for a couple of days this week. Here they are at a sporting demonstration today at Emirates Arena in Glasgow. Kate seemed charmed by the little runners. Look at them, working so hard for the Prince and the Princess. Am I crazy or does the Princess’s hair seem a couple of inches shorter, even allowing for curl? As I noted a few weeks ago on March 19 Full Story
Prince William’s upcoming unemployment
US Weekly is reporting exclusively that Prince William is quitting his job flying search and rescue helicopters with the Royal Air Force. He’s expected to confirm these plans publicly in the new few weeks and by the time Baby Wales arrives, he’ll be unemployed. Full Story
Let’s check in with Charlene of Serenity
Big news in her family today... Andrea Casiraghi is a father. His fiancée, Tatiana Santo Domingo, who is a Colombian heiress, of course, are now parents to a baby boy. As Princess Serenity has not yet produced an heir, this child then is now third in line to the Monaco throne, after his father, and his grandmother Princess Caroline. Full Story
The Princess is a Scout
WPA Pool/ Getty
Sh-t, Katy Cambridge has been BUSY this week. That’s FOUR public appearances... so far. Today, despite the deep freeze all over England right now, she was at the Great Tower Scout Camp in Cumbria with other adult volunteers of the Scout Association learning some new scout skills. She made a fire. Full Story
Katy Cambridge’s 3 out of 4
Danny E. Martindale/ AFP/ Getty, Keystone
Princess Catherine stepped out again today on official royal duty, her third appearance in four days, this time at the side of the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh at a visit to Baker Street underground station. Not that there was any doubt about it but this reaffirms, obviously, that Her Majesty is very fond of her granddaughter-in-law, and perhaps more so because she’s (re)productive. Full Story
Catherine’s white collar
Bauer, Mirrorpix/ Splash
Oh much better than that sh-tty ass St Patrick’s Day royal bun that gave me the swears yesterday. Did you take a good look at that thing? Did you see its shape from the sides? What kind of a stylist allows that to be seen in public on a princess? Jackie M wrote to me yesterday countering that a simple low ponytail, as I suggested as an acceptable and much less ugly alternative, would be an affront to a certain demographic. Full Story
When can Harry hold Cressida’s hand?
Jesal / Tanna/ Splash
Prince Harry went out with friends the other night in London. Not an unusual occurrence, except that Cressida Bonas, his girlfriend, was in the group. Well that adds another dimension to the “I Love You” phase in a relationship, non? On top of when to say it and how long to wait before saying it, when you’re royal, of the Windsor House, does it come with extras? Like, how long do they have to be together for before they allow themselves, knowingly, to be photographed in the same frame in public, at a rugby match or something. Full Story
Royal Ear-Pulling
James Whatling/ Splash, Danny Martindale/ Getty
Is it like finger pulling? Don’t be a prude. You know finger pulling. Here, pull my finger. You’ve never pulled on someone’s finger? Or watched someone get their finger pulled? Look, I don’t like to be farted around. But I do enjoy a fart joke. I’m sure that ginger scamp Hot Harry on a Horse enjoys fart jokes too Full Story
Our Little Royal Grape
Baby Wales has a nickname! According to US Weekly, the Cambridges are calling the royal heir “Our Little Grape”. OLG? I prefer Baby Wales. As for whether or not the grape is a girl, US sources say William and Catherine have only told Prince Charles and her parents, not even Pippa. Full Story
Daughter...or Dog?
Everyone's all lathered up today because apparently, when Catherine Cambridge was in Grimsby yesterday, she may have revealed that the future monarch is female. US Weekly reports that: During the engagement, the expectant Duchess of Cambridge, 31, was given a white teddy bear by a local, Diane Burton. Full Story