The Walking Dead 3.16: “You kill or you die, or you die and you kill”
The Walking Dead Season 3 Episode 16 recap
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
Season three started strong, went wonky in the middle, then got back on track with that excellent trip back to Rick’s old town where they encountered Morgan. Last week’s episode wasn’t as good as that one but was still better than most of the middle episodes, once Michonne and Merle got on the road. The whole Rick “will he or won’t he” plot was a waste of time because everyone, even all of the characters, knew he wouldn’t really give up Michonne, but the rest of the episode, especially Merle’s blitz attack at the end, was solid. Note for next season—don’t waste our time trying to make Rick conflicted. He’s the moral center (or what’s left of it) and is never going to act too contrary to that position. He’s basically Robb Stark.
(Am now obsessed with Game of Thrones after binging all week on seasons 1-2. Why didn’t anyone tell me there were zombies? And zombie horses?!)
So who do we think will die? I’m still thinking Herschel, Andrea, Luna Lovegood, Maggie and/or Glenn, maybe baby Judith (Justified won’t go that far, I don’t think, because at the end of the day, it’s not that hardcore of a show. The Walking Dead, however, is totally that hardcore.), and maybe also Carole, because she’s been reduced to doing virtually nothing.
Extreme close-ups of eyes are disgusting. Eyeballs are gross.
The Governor has turned on Mengele because he burned up the zombies meant for the Michonne-trap. Not surprising.
Seriously, does no one else think the creepy doctor looks like Val Kilmer?
The Governor has a plan that doesn’t involve torturing Andrea to death. It occurs to me that he’s basically a Bond villain at this point, constantly telling everyone his plans and making things way more elaborate than they have to be.
Yeah right Mengele was going to kill the Governor. Of course the Governor would kill him instead. Did anyone think that would play out differently? It frustrates me how often this show goes the obvious route.
They’re packing at the prison. So they’re going to try to run. WHICH IS WHAT THEY SHOULD HAVE DONE FROM THE BEGINNING.
Ugh, stupid Carl. He’s being a punk to Rick…because they’re leaving? God he’s dumb.
You know…Rick and Michonne have decent chemistry. Just saying.
Michonne: You could have left me out there that day.
Rick: If you didn’t have that baby formula, I would have.
Michonne: You could have just taken the formula.
Rick: Must have been something else, then.
Tyrese and Sasha (his pretty sister) try and back out of the fight, offering to defend the kids and people still in Woodbury and leave after the fight. The Governor is…okay with this. (TRAAAAAAAP.) The Governor and his crew go off to siege the prison.
The princess is not in this castle.
At this point, with the prison deserted and Rick & Co. obviously having fled the area, anyone who thinks the Governor continuing to pursue them is the right option is as big a lunatic as he is.
Oh, so we’re going to B plot Mengele’s slow death and Andrea escaping. Yuck.
You know, if Rick was really clever (and sometimes I do wonder), a good defense plan would be to make it look like they’d left, take position behind the zombie-infested part of the prison, thinning out the Governor’s group as they make sure the prison is empty, and then attack the remainder from behind the destroyed portion of the jail. Hmm…
Tyrese and Sasha are like, “We’re probably f*cked anyway, right? Yeah, we’re totally f*cked when the Governor gets back.”
When Mengele asked why Andrea stayed after finding out Rick & Co. were still alive she said, “Because I wanted to save everyone.” What she should have said was, “BECAUSE I AM A GODD*MN MORON.”
OH SNAP! They’re still there!
Carl was pissed because he’s hiding in the woods with Herschel and Luna Lovegood instead of fighting at the prison.
And while the Governor was inside, Rick & Co. f*cked with his gun trucks, rendering them useless. Everyone flees, except the Governor and Martinez.
With his first regular murder—of a dude who was SURRENDERING—Carl joins the Future Serial Killers of America Club.
Herschel’s like, “That was pretty f*cked up, son.”
Oh, Rick, SERIOUSLY? Your kid is a serial killer. Accept it.
Speaking of serial killers, the Governor kills everyone who fled.
Yeah, see, Tyrese’s stupid friend? See what sticking with that lunatic got you? Dead, is what.
One lady survives by hiding under a body. Will that go anywhere, or just be wasted moment?
Godd*mnit, Andrea, you dropped the pliers. Now we have to go through all that again.
Oh good, they’re not staying in the prison anyway.
Carl’s justification: Every time my dad lets someone go, they come back to kill us. Which is not a bad point, but…THE KID WAS SURRENDERING.
Daryl, Maggie and Glenn are staying in case the Governor comes back. No…? Just go…? Like, NOW…?
Luna Lovegood killed a zombie!
Also Carole had a pretty badass kill. They’re suddenly not as worthless. Which means the odds on Maggie/Glenn/Daryl just went up.
Rick & Co. run across the Governor’s killing field and that lone survivor, so good, they didn’t drop that thread.
Zombie Mengele attacks, but the camera pulls back through the closed door, so all we hear is Andrea screaming and a thud. Oh my GOD—are we going to have to deal with her in season 4?!
Rick & Co. approach Woodbury. Karen, the lone survivor, tells Tyrese and Sasha about the Governor. Rick’s like, let’s talk. Daryl hates this plan.
Daryl leads them to the Governor’s torture chamber. Zombie Mengele is dead, but Andrea has been bit. So she offs herself.
I know I’m supposed to feel bad here, but all I can think is—OH THANK GOD.
Dawn at the prison. Rick & Co. return with the Woodbury survivors (Carl is like, “fresh meat!”). Rick doesn’t see Horrible Ghost Lori in her usual spot, thank god. But…the Governor is still out there.
Yes, let’s stretch this already drawn-out plot into a WHOLE OTHER SEASON.
Rick – Adding to his brood.
Carl – Psychopath, probable serial killer.
The Governor – Gathering a new flock, no doubt.
Worst thing seen/heard this week: The Governor killing everyone.
Zombie kill of the week: Luna Lovegood with a tire iron (?) to the head.